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Dream a little Dream

Posted by Felicia on 9:45 AM
Lately, I have been dreaming a lot. It's the same with all of my dreams that I dream in color, and forget most of it 5 minutes after I awaken. However, there is always a dream that no matter how much time has passed you still remember it vividly.
I remember when I was a 10 I had a dream and Luke Skywalker was in it. (Don't judge I had a major crush back in the 80s) I was walking through a corridor where the ceiling was too high up to see and on the left hand side there was a concrete border that extended up 30 feet. Luke Skywalker was summoning me to a room. It was at the end of the corridor to the right, and as I came into it there was a very large fireplace with a fire burning. The room was very large with high ceilings and it was entirely carpeted, but the floor had speed bumps that were covered by carpet. Luke was sitting against one of them facing the fireplace, and he summoned me over. I sat down next to him and he told me stories. Then we got up and went out of the room through a door on the opposite wall where I walked in. It turned into a grated black metal tunnel and we slid down like on a tube slide. I could hear voices laughing, and I heard water splashing. We continued to slide through tube after tube until we came out falling into a small ravine filled with water. I looked up and there were kids dancing and splashing in the water and all around were tubes that other kids had come sliding out of. The walls were rocks built up, but there appeared to be no way out. I looked around and Luke Skywalker was gone. I remember trying to climb up the rocks to try and climb through the tubes to get out but all they did was lead you back to the ravine. I woke up after that, but to this day I cannot understand what it all meant. It was just one of those bizarre dreams I guess.

What about you? Any dreams that you remember?

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Let's get physical

Posted by Felicia on 9:47 AM
For the first time in about 2 years I actually feel really good, physically. I woke up feeling good, and I had a good night's rest, and I am not even a smidgen tired which for me is a HUGE thing. I cannot remember a time, in the last few years, that I have not woken up tired. I yawn all day long, and fall asleep immediately upon laying down. I found out the reason for all of this is sleep apnea. I have a mild form of it. I started using a CPAP machine at night, and while at first I hated that thing on my face, I got over it, and started getting some real rest. Hallelujah!

Another big thing for me lately is that I joined a gym and started working out. 5-6 days a week every morning...and yes...even weekends. The first 20 minutes suck beyond belief, but I actually feel better afterwards. Accomplished and satisfied, albeit a bit sore from using muscles that have not been used since gym class c.1987. Sad, I know.

When I signed up for a membership I ultimately ended up with a good deal, but I gave the trainer/nutritionist/salesperson a run for his money. Normally they give their pitch, a tour, bottom line offer, and you either take it or leave it and you're done in the time it takes to get an oil change. I was not one of those customers. I was with him for over an hour. Literally.

"How long have you wanted to get physically fit?"

"Does elementary school count?" I say smirking.

" Haha! Well, we can certainly help you with that", he says as he starts highlighting my answers to the fitness assessment sheet I filled out.

I watch the paper turn yellow as he gets high off the yellow marker ink.

" Um, you might as well scribble that whole thing in yellow Chris."

" Haha, I know!" he says stupidly.

Then he starts in on his sales pitch.

"Blah, blah, blah, blah, get you into shape, blah, blah, blah, "

"Um, well...whatcha goona do for me to make it worth my while? You gonna drag me out of bed each morning, and make me get my ass over here? You gonna remember me and ask where I was when I miss a class? I need some accountability Chris." I say trying not to giggle.

" Of course I will remember you. We keep good records of everyone. I also know how hard this is for people. In my 22 yrs I have seen a lot."

"Oh? You were at prom like, what...4 yrs ago? Haha! j/k! "

" Oh yeah well....." he says shifting in his chair.

"I'm just teasing you. *pause* You're so going to be talking about me to your co-workers when I leave huh? "

"No, no of course not."

" Why not? I would. Hehe j/k again!"

I don't think he knew what to make of me, but it amused me to no end. As I was leaving I told him he was not allowed to flirt with me when I was all cute and skinny because I would have to break his 22 yr old heart. He's laughing on the inside. Trust me.

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I'm in Love

Posted by Felicia on 11:22 AM
I would like you all to meet my friend's little girl Harper. Oh.....my....Gawd...Becky...look at her ...cheeks! I could eat her up she's so cute. She's 14 months old, and a heartbreaker. Watch out fellas!

Likes: Juice, hugs, Baby Einstein, ripping magazines,eating things off the carpet, and fake sneezing

Dislikes: The word "No", falling down while walking, boys who drool.

I got the awesome task of watching her on Saturday while her Momma toook a much needed day for herself, and I dear folks got to cuddle squishy baby flesh all day long. It was wonderful. The only downside to all of this? I forgot how much crap babies need to have with them when you travel. Forget about packing light. Between me, the baby, and my purse, and the diaper bag my arms were loaded with assorted wares. I gave a good imitation of a juggler. On top of all that I wore the wrong shoes which made it harder to walk anywhere.

On the flip side, because she has dark hair and light eyes people mistook her for mine. I played dumb , and said thank you and blushed when they said she was cute like me. " Why, thank you! How sweet of you!" I got to pretend for a little while. She put on a good show by cooing, and smiling, and batting her gorgeous eyes at them. Hello?? Um, it's not half as cute when I do it anymore, darn it all. I even took her shopping where she insisted I buy her some outfits. (She did...I swear I speak her secret language) I even bought her some snacks which turned into a game of " I hand you this to open, and YOU give me what's inside" She loved that game. Me? not so much. But overall I had a blast with her.

I learned some things too in this experience since I have been out of the "baby" care biz awhile. I learned it's probably not a good idea to give the baby a sip of your vodka and sprite to quiet them down for a nap. Don't let them play with pennies. They put those in their mouths!! Don't give them your cell phone to play with unless you want it covered in goo. Please disregard everything in this paragraph. I was just kidding. Well, except for the cell phone. Seriously...phone covered in baby goo. Yuck!

The experience left me melancholy, and aching for another one. Babies will do that to you. And they will most certainly cover your phone in goo.


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Lovin' in the pants

Posted by Felicia on 12:20 AM
My friend Jeff came up from B-Town to hang out with yours truly tonight, and had lots o' fun. We had something to eat and then went to see the movie Knocked Up, which was REALLY good by the way so go see it, and then we came back and looked up funny stuff on the internet because we are dorks like that. Why are you still reading this?....go see Knocked Up...now...what are you waiting for?

Ok...so after he left to drive himself all the way back home I called him to see if he had made it home safely. He was like 10 min away , and said thanks , and what would he do without me. I borrowed a line from my son and said he would probably have a miserable life. Haha The wisdom of a 9 yr old. This is what came next.

"You know Colin is going to be a teenager in like 4 years??"

"Yeah, and then the problems start. He'll be asking girls to spend the night, and stuff."

"No, I already decided I'm not gonna be the cool mom like that."

"Awww come on...don't you want to be the young grandma?

"Uhhh, that thought right there alone is enough to make me confine him until he is 25."

SO I turned it on him and said, " Hey, do you realize , since you're 36, that if you had a kid when you were a kid that you could technically be a grandpa??? Dude, that's crazy. You would have a really hard time getting dates. I could only imagine THAT conversation. You would be hard pressed to find a 30-something woman that wants to be a step-grandparent."

"Nah...you just have to know how to spin it."

"huh? How would you do that?"

" I would just tell them I have two generations of lovin' in my pants."

" Nice...very classy."

My friend Jeff ladies and gentlemen..available for weekend shows. No repeat performances.



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