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Invasions

Posted by Felicia on 8:04 AM
This past week has been a little crazy. First of all we were invaded by water seeking, cupboard climbing, food ransacking, counter crawling ANTS! EVERYWHERE! I would kill them and clean up only to wake up in the morning to find they had found another way in. I even left a few ant carcasses lying around hoping they would report back to their nest to warn the others. "
Don't go! The lady is crazy;it's a place of death! Turn back!"
But most likely they were like,"Hey, the other guys aren't back yet they must have found the elusive ant heaven known as SUGARLAND, the land of plenty. Let's send more troops to check it out." (Yes, I'm slightly weird that I run dialog for ants in my head which is probably the result of a too active imagination.)
I actually called in late to work on Wednesday because it took forever to get the kitchen clean after I tore through everything trying to find all of their entrance areas. And now I see things crawling and moving out of the corners of my eyes and I'm all itchy. If my boss didn't know about the ants he might think I need to back away from the drugs.
This morning I was thrilled to find only a couple of their largeish brood milling around , that is until I stepped outside and found a bag of trash that my darling, albeit irresponsible, son left just outside the door last night instead of making it to the dumpster which was now crawling with MILLIONS of ants as opposed to the mere thousands that showed up in my kitchen. Well now I know why they left my kitchen. They had bigger stuff to find. Well along with the food they would have found their dead relatives so ha! I hate ants.

At work I have been the victim of the opposite of southern hospitality known as sexism and harrassment. Now, I love a southern gentlemen. For the most part the guys out here are polite and sweet. This week was different. These men were old school. One guy told me I was so cute he wanted to put me on a plate and sop me up with a biscuit. Ewww....This was a customer. With missing teeth, and badly in need of a bath. *cue skin crawling* Another man came in here who is a sexist pig and needs to be slapped. He came and sat down so I could help him , but he could not quite explain what he wanted me to do, and got all upset because I didn't understand his request. Then he got up and said " I'm going to go get a drink next door and when I come back I want HIM(referring to my boss) to help me." said angrily as he stormed out the door. Alrighty then! In his mind I am a woman and therefore incapable of intelligent thought. Drunken asshat. So the guy came back and my boss took care of it, and meanwhile I am sitting at my desk listening to the man make sexist remarks regarding women and how they are no good for anything other than sex. Ummm, don't let the door hit your ass on the way out! I was a little steamed for the rest of the day.
Today he came back to drop off a receipt, and made even MORE remarks about how he hates a woman to tell him what to do. I sat quietly trying to remain professional until he left. My boss turned to look at me and said, " I could feel the tension in the room. " I said, " Oh yeah! I wanted to throw my stapler at his head." My boss said, " Haha, welcome to the south. Would you like fries with that? "

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1

Five for Friday-80s edition

Posted by Felicia on 10:41 AM





If you were throwing an 80s themed slumber party...

1. What movies would you show? Pretty in Pink(Hello dreamy Andrew McCarthy), Sixteen Candles(I heart you Jake Ryan), The Breakfast Club (see a theme? I was all about some Molly Ringwald teen angst back then!), Valley Girl.

2. What kind of food would you serve? Cherry cokes, Doritos, Oreos, and Haagen Daaz!

3. Which childhood friends and crushes would you reminisce about? Mmmm Mike N., Donnie ,Miguel, Mike D. and Troy. Famous crushes would include Kirk Cameron, Andrew McCarthy, Rob Lowe, Johnny Depp(21 JUMPSTREET!), Duran Duran, Tom Cruise(before he got weird).

4. Which trends and fads would you lament most? Neon colors, 3 pairs of different colored socks with every outfit, side ponytails, legwarmers, cutoff sweatshirts, bright fushia makeup, blue eyeshadow, jelly shoes and purses to match every outfit known to man, acid-wash ANYTHING, too much jewelry!

5. What board or card games would you incorporate? Twister, monopoly, Trouble, Uno.


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5

The First Day of School (HURRAY!!!!)

Posted by Felicia on 8:34 AM


Look at you! So handsome! Fourth grade is going to be AWESOME!!!

Ok, now we have to take a full length one of you.

Perfect! Ok, but this time without the backpack. Keep smiling...don't lose it.


Nice! Hey what's with the folded arms? Oh, it makes you look cool? Is that what 4th graders do to look cool? See I thought it was all about who collected the most garbage pail kids cards. My bad? Well, let's take a full shot again.

Again with the tough guy look. That's ok...you're still cute. Yes I said cute, tough but cute. ok? Deal with it I'm your mom. Hey! What's that? Is that the school bus?


Haha! made you look!

Wha? I was just kidding! Nice eyebrows kid. hahahahahahahahahahaha Don't put me in an asylum when I'm old kid ok?

Hey wait! Where are you going? I was just messin with you. Can't you take a joke? Oh? The school bus actually IS coming. Ok...well have a great first day of school and remember...HAVE FUN STORMING THE CASTLE!

What? It's a classic! From the Princess Bride? Hello McFly? It's funny. You'll laugh in like 10 years. Don't give me that look. I am NOT lame. Whatever...I was cool before you were! Love you! Have a good day at school. Bye punk!
He's laughing on the inside.
And a random picture of my kitty cat Milo because he's too cool for school. Awwwwww




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3

Daisy Faye Buchanan

Posted by Felicia on 10:08 AM
Meet the newest four-legged resident of our happy abode, Daisy Faye Buchanan. Or Daisy if you will or as I like to call her Tenacious D. She is so named for the character Daisy Faye Buchanan in the book The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. You probably remember it from like the 8th grade. There is a passage in the book that goes like this. "They were careless people, Tom and Daisy—they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made. . . . " This is our cat. She smashes things up in her kitten-like enthusiasm and I am left to clean it up. And I must give credit for the name to a dear, sweet person whom I know who shall remain nameless, but he knows who he is. In any case, the name fit perfectly, and Colin loves it.
She is so soft and not yet very snuggly preferring to romp and chase red laser lights up and down the walls, but at night you can find her very close to someone's head as this is her preferred sleeping spot.
Needless to say, my son is in love with her, and if nothing else it does the heart good to see a boy so full of compassion for another living creature. There is hope in this world when compassion lives on in the heart of little boys with kitties named Daisy.

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