Don't mess with Mama!

Posted by Felicia on 10:43 AM
I have been a bad blogger; a NON-blogger if you will. But I have a note from my teacher so there!
These past couple of weeks have been a blur of activity with small snapshots of clear-cut reality, and a disillusioning sense of what is what.
Como say huh? I know, I know I'll stop waxing poetic and tell y'all(2 of you) what has been happening around the homestead.
I got an e-mail from his three teachers stating that they wanted a conference with me last week to discuss my sons grades. Now let me back up a little here. The conference at the beginning of the school year is nothing new to me, and I half expect the summons every year knowing my son the way I do. Not because he's misbehaving, but for another reason entirely. You see my son has had a problem with paying attention in class and getting his work done. At first we thought it might be immaturity, then his doctor thought it was related to his sleep apnea. He had his tonsils and adenoids removed, but they missed his vocal chords entirely! DRAT! Just teasin...although every once in awhile a mute button wouldn't hurt ya know? After the surgery he started sleeping better, but the problems at school did not improve. Soooooo, here we are.
They call me in and I face a firing squad of all three teachers sitting on their mighty thrones made out of old thesaurus' and dictionaries held together by the entrails of old misbehaving students. I kid I kid, I joke I joke. But seriously, I was a little intimidated having all three of them tell me how "concerned" they were that my son was falling seriously behind. " This is 4th grade now and it's a different ballgame." I listened and nodded, and asked questions. And then they dropped the bomb. " Has he ever been evaluated for AD/HD?" I tell them no, but that I will discuss it with his doctor at his appt. that week. They offer their advice, and I kindly tell them I am on it and will do whatever needs to be done. Then I broke down in tears. In FRONT OF THEM. I was a little embarrassed that I couldn't keep it together after that.
That night I got online and ordered some books about AD/HD even though I'm not sure it is that, but I thought what the hell I can at least learn something that might help right? So I order a book for him called "How to slow down and pay attention" that is written from a kids perspective, and some books on organization and parenting AD/HD kids. I am nothing if not thorough in my research to help my son.
On Thursday I took my son to the doctor and explained EVERYTHING the teachers mentioned and shared my own concerns. She listened attentively, asked questions, and talked to my son. She said it would be a bit easier to diagnose if it were the hyperactivity kind of AD/HD, but his might be a bit trickier. She gave us an appt. for a specialist who deals exclusively with the inattentive type of AD/HD, and felt it necessary to start him on a very small dose of a medication. I was wary of it, but she explained it was a non-stimulant, and very mild. I have read horror stories of these medications and this was not my first choice, but I trust her and know she would not have given them to him if she didn't think he needed them. We left feeling a little better knowing we were on the right track to figuring out what was going on and getting some help.
The next day I sent e-mails to his teachers to keep them abreast(haha..I'm such a 12 yr old.) of the situation. One of the teachers had lent me a book which I sent back with my son, but because he is remembering challenged he has not given her the book. I sent an e-mail to let her know it was in his bookbag. I got no reply until this week and she replied with a very terse note. You can imagine how upset I was. Uh hello? It's been a week since we had the conference and less than that since we started the medication. It will take time!!! I'm sorry I forgot to grab my magic wand out of storage as I have been winging this whole parenting thing since he was born because I like a challenge. It takes at least 2-4 wks to see any real big changes, and we are working on it!!! Give the kid some slack.
When he got home I checked his assignment book and his homeroom teacher had written a note telling me he didn't finish his work, and then wrote at the bottom- " We have a problem!" EXCLAMATION POINT. Uh...I was at that conference. I KNOW he has a problem. Writing that note only made Colininsky feel like crap, and me feel like a horrible parent. I got the message. And my son saw it and sobbed in my arms last night because he feels like all of his teachers hate him for forgetting all the time. I rocked him as only a mother can and then sent him to the shower. As soon as he shut the door I burst into tears. I had a good cry and then got mad. I wrote an e-mail to his teachers asking them to please send any messages via e-mail or a sealed envelope. Just use good judgement. His self-esteem is poor over this anyway; no need to add fuel to the fire.
I spoke with his principal this morning and poured out my thoughts and feelings. Mama Bear was in attack mode for her cub. I was articulate, and calm, and diplomatic, but I was MAD. He needs time and patience and understanding. That's all I was asking. You just don't mess with the MAMA!!!!



You go mama. You know your kid and what he needs. You'd think that as teachers they'd understand that figuring it all out needs time. Your son is obviously trying and they should focus on that. Poor kid. I can only imagine how hard it was for you to see him cry. **HUGS**

Keep strong. You're such a fantastic mama.

Thank you. I needed that.

Oh my goodness. I am so sorry you have to deal with such asshole teachers! You are being responsible, caring, and cautious, as you should be! It's highly commendable.

I wish you luck. These things are tricky, and your son needs love and support, guidance, and perhaps medication. Though hopefully it can be dealt with another way.

Good luck, dear :)

You really are an awesome mom. Your son is proof of that. Those teachers should know better. Why does there have to be something wrong. As teachers they should know each kid learns differently and should try and figure out what works for him. That's what teaching is all about! They have no business teaching if they can't be patient and supportive.

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