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Tired

Posted by Felicia on 12:12 PM in
It's Friday. Finally. I swear I work just for the weekends. Not that I don't love my job, but it's just really nice to not feel pressured by time.
I woke up this morning to the sound of my alarm blaring repetitive hits of the 70s and 80s, and all I could think of was what an interesting mark it would make on the wall if I threw it. I reluctantly pulled myself out of bed , pulled on some pajama bottoms , and stumbled into the livingroom shielding my eyes from the hundreds of lights my son feels it necessary to turn on every morning to get ready for school. I collapsed onto the couch and listened to the whining about how "this shirt is too long" and "it looks to puffy",and no one will think I am cool. I mumbled something under my breath and sat up to assess the situation. I saw my own reflection. Puffy, tired eyes and frustration, but in a much smaller form. I hugged him and sent him off to school.
As I came back through the house my eyes scanned the room. Laundry that had been washed , but never folded sitting on the dining table for the 5th straight day in a row. Toy cars haphazardly strewn around the room because I was too lazy to tell the boy to pick them up. Graded school papers, celebrated but not filed. Magazines, half-read and stacked more than 12 deep waiting to be sifted through. Vaccum out from having begun its daily chore, but left sitting still plugged in from a distraction that never ended.
I wearily looked at everything I still needed to do, and lay down on the couch and closed my eyes. Just 15 min. Make the morning go slower. Fall back a little. Anything to prolong the inevitable. My thoughts drift into what has been on my mind.
My sister and her family who live in San Diego waiting to see where the fires will go, and if they need to leave. Safe, but worried.
My grandparents finalizing their divorce making settlements to end their union that started over 35 yrs ago. It just...seems...wrong. World out of place.
My boy starting his medication for ADD. Will it work? What will happen? Check his breath in the middle of the night. Place my hand on his chest to feel it rise and fall. Paranoid? Maybe, but he's my heart.
I crack my eyes open and drag myself off the couch and into the shower to start my day. Trying to shake the tired that no amount of sleep can cure.

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2 Comments


That post made ME feel exhausted!

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