This is what happens when you have 2 bored cats and a roll of leftover Christmas paper lying around. So much for all the new toys they got for Christmas. Cheap boogers. Next year I'm only giving them a roll of toilet paper; they can share.
I have officially hit a new low in being a mom. I wore a bathrobein the car when I dropped my child off at school this morning. But in my defense I...I...crap. I have no defense. My defense couldn't get out of a parking ticket dammit. It felt too good to get out of, and I'm ok with it. That soccer mom mentality is a slippery slope I tell ya. Don't let it happen to you.
Lately it seems that the universe has been trying to tell me something; I just don't know what exactly. In the last month I have run into three,count them, three ex boyfriends in and around town or in one case my house. In each case I was unprepared (who is really?) and thrown off guard. I have therefore compiled a list of things that you absolutely must do when you run into an ex. 1. Always look your best. By this I mean be sure you haven't brushed your hair or wiped the remnants of last night's eye makeup off your face because you were busy watching Sex & The City re-runs reading War & Peace while waxing poetic about the state of violence in our world these days and so you accidentally fell asleep on the couch in your clothes again and when you woke up you realized you had no milk or detergent so you put on your fabulous figure flattering sweatpants and ratty t-shirt, after all it's too early on a Sunday and no one will be out, check yourself out in a mirror deeming said eye make-up from night before as "sexy bedroom eyes" and decide that your 16 hour long wear lipstick could totally go 24 hours and then head out the door. 2. Act nonchalant. By this I mean get nervous because you just realized what you looked like when you saw that he noticed you and then get jittery and start dropping your groceries all over the floor including your last minute purchase of tampons because you didn't think you needed a cart as you you were just going in for milk and detergent, and you can totally juggle all of that with two hands because you are the epitome of grace and refinement. 3. Speak eloquently and don't fidget. By this I mean start blabbering when he walks up to you and asks you how things are going because you are embarrassed and caught off-guard and start telling him all of the wonderful and fabulous things you are doing to keep yourself busy in life while trying in vain to wipe your eyes of flaking eye makeup and laugh self-deprecatingly at yourself because after all...you are fabulous! 4. Conduct yourself with dignity and grace. By this I mean excuse yourself and wish him hell well and try like hell not to pick that wedgie out of your ass while he is watching you walk away. And why wouldn't he? You're fabulous! Right? Right?! Gah...
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I got this from Cady Just bold the books you have read. I apparently need to start reading more of the classics. Now where did I put my library card????
The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen To Kill A Mockingbird - Harper Lee Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell Return of the King - JRR Tolkein Fellowship of the Ring - JRR Tolkein Two Towers - JRR Tolkein Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery Outlander - Diana Gabaldon A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry HP & Goblet of Fire - JK Rowling Angels and Demons - Dan Brown HP & Order of Phoenix - JK Rowling A Prayer for Owen - Meany John Irving Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden (i am reading this one right now) HP and the Sorcerer’s Stone - JK Rowling Fall On Your Knees - Ann-Marie MacDonald The Stand - Stephen King HP & Prisoner of Azkaban - JK Rowling Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte The Hobbitt - JRR Tolkein The Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger Little Women - Louisa May Alcott The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold Life of Pi - Yann Martel The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte The Lion, Witch, & Wardrobe - CS Lewis East of Eden - John Steinbeck Tuesdays with Morrie - Mitch Albom Dune - Frank Herbert The Notebook - Nicolas Sparks Atlas Shrugged - Ayn Rand 1984 - George Orwell The Mists of Avalon - Marion Bradley The Pillars of the Earth - Ken Follett The Power of One - Bryce Courtenay I Know This Much Is True - Wally Lamb The Red Tent - Anita Diamant The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho The Clan of the Cave Bear - Jean Auel The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini Confessions of a Shopaholic - Sophie Kinsella Five People you Meet in Heaven - Mitch Albom Bible Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy The Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas Angela’s Ashes - Frank McCourt The Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck She’s Come Undone - Wally Lamb The Poisonwood Bible - Barbara Kingsolver A Tale of Two Cities - Charles Dickens Ender’s Game - Orson Card Great Expectations - Charles Dickens The Great Gatsby - F.Scott Fitzgerald HP & Chamber of Secrets - JK Rowling The Stone Angel - Margaret Laurence The Thorn Birds - Colleen McCullough The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger Crime and Punishment - Dostoyevsky War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy The Fountainhead - Ayn Rand Interview with a Vampire - Anne Rice Fifth Business - Robertson Davis 100 years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez The Sisterhood of Traveling Pants - Ann Brashares Catch 22 - Heller Les Miserables - Victor Hugo Bridget Jones’ Diary - Fielding The Little Prince - Antoine de Saint-exupery In Spanish & English!! Love in the Time of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez Shogun - James Clavell The English Patient - Michael Ondaatje The Secret Garden - Frances Burnett The Summer Tree - Guy Kay A tree Grows in Brooklyn - Betty Smith The World According to Garp - John Irving The Diviners - Margaret Laurence Charlotte’s Web - EB White Not Wanted on the Voyage - Timothy Findley Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck Rebecca - Daphne DuMaurier Wizard’s First Rule - Terry Goodkind Emma - Jane Austen Watership Down - Richard Adams Brave New World - Aidous Huxley The Stone Diaries - Carol Shields Blindness - Jose Saramago Kane and Abel - Jeffrey Archer In The Skin of a Lion - Ondaatje Lord of the Flies - William Golding The Good Earth - Pearl Buck The Secret Life of Bees - Sue Monk Kidd The Bourne Identity - Robert Ludlum The Outsiders - SE Hinton White Oleander - Janet Fitch A Woman of Substance - Barbara Bradford The Celestine Prophecy - James Redfield Ulysses - James Joyce
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We were listening to some Christmas music tonight, and the song playing was one of my all-time favorites It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year. We were singing along when my son started laughing hysterically.
"What's so funny?"
*Still laughing* "The song!", he says trying to suck in air at the same time.
"Why is the song funny?", I say smiling and starting to get the giggles myself.
"Because it says...ha...ha...gay, happy meetings!!!!!", he screams out holding his belly from laughing so hard.
Boxers or Briefs? Not a terrible subject to speak of...unless it is your boss discussing this little conversational tidbit as he prepares to go to the doctor. I had to endure an embarrassing 5 min conversation on why he wanted to wear boxers to the doctor's office, and what he was wearing just then. Ummm....ewww Please excuse me as I need to make my ears stop bleeding and erase that visual from my memory.
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I've been a bad blogger. For some reason I am just exhausted lately and I can't seem to get anything done or motivate myself to do anything beyond work and sleep. I guess I have a case of the blahs. Anyone else get like that? Well in any case, I have been getting into the christmas spirit by decorating and only because I was coerced by my son who begged, and pleaded, and whined, and cried, and told me he would put me in a nursing home at the first sign of dementia. ok, he didn't do that last part, but I wouldn't put it past him someday. Haha So in the spirit of Christmas I bought our tree and we commenced with the decorating. And let me tell you, it's a beauty. The boy picked it out, and it just happened to be the first tree we saw. We were in and out of Lowe's in 10 min. SUHWEET! He was completely excited and loved strapping it down to the luggage rack on top of our car. "Let me help! I can do it!" So we strapped it down and got it home. We spent the next hour decorating and listening to Christmas music where we made up our own lyrics and became hysterical and discussed the proper technique for hanging plastic icicles so that our cats wouldn't grab them off the tree and use them as lightsabers. Speaking of cats I was worried that our tree would end up on the floor or that every ornament would be considered a toy and thus promptly pawed off the branches, but...BUT...the cats have been GOOD. They have accepted the tree into the family and have thus far been respectful. Score one for the kitties. Awesome. So tell me..what is your favorite ornament? For me it is my Tinkerbell tree topper I got several years before. It's so me. I love it! So here are some pics of the tree in all its glory. I love Christmas!
Notice Daisy Faye sitting by the tree and the presents. I like to think she is guarding it from 9 yr old present peekers. Links to this post
Thank you to everyone who gave me their input on the photos. It is greatly appreciated. You made the decision easier, and just enforced my son's own opinion to the point where he now struts around the house saying "uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, I'm the man". Whatever. Let's see him tackle 10 loads of laundry and the dishes. Then we'll talk "man".
We have been busy here at Casa Loco these past few weeks what with the cold, the ex b/f issue, and decorating the house for the present season. I love this season. It evokes so many happy memories for me and I really try to focus on the real meaning of Christmas and less on the superficial aspects. I just soak it in; the music, the lights, smells, sounds, and events that take place. Speaking of events...
For the past few years we have headed up to Franklin, Tennessee on the 2nd weekend in December for their annual Dickens of a Christmas. The historic downtown area features period buildings that are decorated and there are several vendors selling their arts & crafts, people selling roasted chestnuts, and sugarplums! SUGARPLUMS! How cool is that? Except..(they don't taste like I expected them to.) Oh well. So the residents of Franklin wear period costumes from the 1800s and walk around and sing and dance. They have a Scrooge, Marley(in white dust and chains), and a Father Christmas walking around as well. It is sooooo much fun.
Look! Pickpockets! HEHE
Oh, and what's just cool about Franklin period is that The Battle of Franklin was fought here during the Civil War and was historically the bloodiest 5 hours of the entire war. Wow! Google it. AMAZING! This city is just alive with history. Color me happy.
AND...AND....15 min away is a little itty bitty town called Leipers Fork. It too is just as cute as little towns come, and they are having a parade there, and their Grand Marshall is none other than Naomi Judd. AWESOME! I love the south! *sigh* This is what puts me in the Christmas spirit.
So what traditions do you and your family do to put you in the Christmas spirit?
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I am a 35 yr old single mom who grew up in California, but moved to "The South" in 2002. I found the love of my life who just happens to be an Australian. We married on 10/10/09. Follow me as I leave America for the Land Down Under to discover love, a new life, and lots of new adventures!