4

Cinnabon Fakes Cupcakes

Posted by Felicia on 3:27 PM
Here is my recipe for Cinnabon Fakes Cupcakes. Finally!

Cake
1 1/2 sticks unsalted butter-room temp.
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup cake flour
2 tspns baking powder
1/4 tspn. salt
3 eggs & 1 egg white
3/4 cup milk
2 tspns vanilla extract

Cinnamon Mixture: 4 tblspns sugar, 3 tspns cinnamom, 2 tblspns butter. Mix with a fork until you make a crumby, coarse mixture. Set aside.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
In a mixer, beat the butter and sugar together on medium speed until light and fluffy. While that's beating sift together the dry ingredients in a bowl. In another bowl combine eggs, milk, and vanilla. Mix with a fork.
Once butter/sugar mixture is light and fluffy add 1/3 of the flour mixture to the butter/sugar. Mix on slow speed. Add 1/2 the wet ingredient mixture. Alternate until all of the ingredients are incorporated. Do not over mix.
Line cupcake pan with liners and fill 2/3 full with batter. Sprinkle cinnamon mixture on top of the batter. It will sink in during baking. Bake for 10-12 min at 350 degrees. Let cool.

Frosting

8oz. package of cream cheese-room temperature
1 stick unsalted butter-room temperature
4 cups powdered sugar
2 tspns vanilla
1/2 tspn lemon juice
1 tblspn milk

Beat the cream cheese and butter together until thoroughly mixed. Add sugar one cup at a time. Mix well after each cup. Add milk and mix. Beat on high for 12 minutes.* This is very important because we want air in this to make it really fluffy. Trust me on this. After about 10 min add vanilla and lemon juice and mix for another 2 or 3 min.
Frost cooled cupcakes and sprinkle a little cinnamon on top. YUM!


Links to this post |
3

A Piece of Holiday Cheer-now with more nuts!

Posted by Felicia on 10:52 AM
She is Apathetic no more!
I managed to procure Christmas cards and put them in the mail. I got some shopping done and wrestled with myself over feelings of guilt about not being able to get everyone something. I won! No guilt. C'est la Vie. You cannot get blood from a turnip. lol
On Saturday we FINALLY got ourselves a tree and spent the next 3 hours decorating, rearranging furniture and vacuuming under said moved furniture for the first time in 2 years. Haha. Just kidding. But not. I just wish I hadn't STARTED at 9pm as I didn't get to bed until 1AM. New wrinkles have now found a home underneath my eyes and plan on staying for quite some time. Christmas brings it's own set of presents for me apparently!
On Sunday I got it into my head that the kitchen just wasn't nearly as destroyed as I thought it should be so I decided to whip up some cupcakes. White cake with an Eggnog Italian Buttercream sprinkled with freshly grated nutmeg, and a chocolate cake with Peppermint Italian buttercream sprinkled with candy cane bits. HEAVEN!
After a self-induced sugar coma I dragged myself to grandma's house to clean and ready it for our relatives. Am so tired.
I took a bunch of pics of our holiday merriment. You will become witness to the humiliation we impose on our cats for our amusement.

This one was not of our doing. This is what you walk into in our house sometimes. lol Or as I titled it. " I can drink a cat under the ru.....I Win! "


Kisses!

Mas besos!





Chaos!








yes those are totally Reeses pieces from Halloween. Haha. Use what ya have.

SOOOOOO GOOD!



I just want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. I hope Christmas finds you happy and content and in the company of those who love you the most.

* For those of you asking for my Cinnabon Fakes Cupcakes recipe, I will be posting that recipe tomorrow. I'm sorry I've dragged my feet on that. It will be here before ya know it! *

Links to this post |
7

Crap-Now With More Bling!

Posted by Felicia on 12:37 PM
With relatives from California flying in on Friday for the holidays I have been busy at my grandmother's house cleaning out the spare room so people can actually habitate. My grandmother moved here in May and threw a lot of boxes in here to make room until such time that she could go through them all. We don't really have time to go through them all right now, but we manages to open a few of them to see if there was anything pertinent we needed. I found nothing pertinent, but I DID find a lot of funny and/or cool things. Such as....

A Pet Rock circa 1975. Nuh-hice!


I never had one of these and I can only imagine people bought these as gag gifts because....a rock? Really?? The thing that cracks me up is that she KEPT it!!

I pity the fool!!!!
Seriously, how cool is this? I loved Mr. T in the 80s.

Who could forget The "Fonz"
This one has genuine thumbs up action! lol She plans on selling these and many more on Ebay. I kind of want them. Am I weird? lol

This last thing just confused me. It's hideous for one, no confusion about that, but who did she buy it for?? That better not be my christmas gift. Haha.


I had to tell my mom.

" Mom! Come here and look at this!" I say quietly

" What is it? It's awful.", she says with a look of bewilderment on her face.

" Oh you're telling me! Haha Why does she buy this crap?", I say laughing.

Just then my grandmother walks down the hallway and appears at the door. My mom grabs the bag and shows it to her.

"What is this Mom?" my mom says holding the bag up.

"It's a bling." my grandmother says matter-of-factly.

" A WHAT??" I say sounding surprised and amused.

" You know. What all the girls buy. A bag or a purse. A bling bling." she says exasperatedly

This is when I started laughing.
My mom then says, " Oh thank God. I thought you bought yourself a sequined halter top."

And that's when I lost it completely.

Generation gap understanding of slang= FAIL

I'm still laughing.

Links to this post |
9

Note Worthy

Posted by Felicia on 10:05 AM
Since becoming a parent I have always been searching for ways to effectively communicate with my child so that we had a solid foundation of respect and mutual understanding of each other. I have come to find out even more how important it is to be able to talk to your child especially as they get older.
Since Colin was diagnosed with ADHD last year I have become even more aware of this need to communicate in ways that would work better for him. One of these ways was in notes. I figured if I wrote it down he would have a tangible reminder of things he needed to do or know. I would write down his chores, remind him of appointments, and even tell him I love him, because who doesn't love to see it in writing? As a result of this Colin has taken this and run with it. He now writes his own notes to me. FOR ANYTHING.

This note he wrote and stuck on the bathroom door. It says, " OFF LIMITS! DO NOT GO IN! IMPORTANT BUSINESS BEING DONE. THIS MEANS YOU MOM A.K.A. MC LEESH." And he drew a little stick figure on the toilet. Nice. Classy. Effective. Hilarious.



This next one came about because I told him to find the yellow envelope for a birthday card. He starts a conversation on it and then gives me a follow up note on the progress. lol


This note was on my desk this morning. To charge his MP3 player and look at pictures of the cat he took. AT 6AM this morning.


This kid is sometimes so cute I want to eat him up and crush him with hugs and chap his skin with kisses. He makes me laugh and makes me realize that maybe I'm not doing as bad of a job raising him as I thought. lol
*Post script* He left the milk out of the fridge all night.*sigh* I'm writing him a note!

Links to this post |
4

Eventually I'll Get It

Posted by Felicia on 8:16 AM
I've been a procrastinator my whole life. I think even at a tender age I was like, "no, I will clean up those toys LATER." "I do my best work under pressure!" I'm a mess. lol Lately though I have been trying to take small steps to change that attitude. One of the big problems with me is dinner. I hardly ever plan and mostly just pick something to make 10 min. before. This inevitably means that the microwave is the main method of cooking. Ok, Ok...re-heating. I do try to make it healthy though like steaming plenty of green vegetables and stuff. That way the guilt is lessened. Oh the guilt!
Yesterday afternoon I was reading a feed on my google reader and found an easy peasy recipe for Bolognese sauce. It didn't have very many ingredients. All it needed was a lengthy time to cook. I figured I could just make it while I made dinner and then refrigerate it until tomorrow then all I would have to do is boil pasta and heat the sauce. Actual homecooking, made in ADVANCE! Wow!
So tonight....Penne Bolognese with garlic bread and a salad. I'm so excited. I planned and cooked ahead! Progress. So while that is heating I will make Albondigas soup at my leisure and just refrigerate for the next evening. I figure if I just do that more often, like maybe cook 3-4 nights a week in advance, I have dinner for the next night and then we can just eat leftovers the rest of the week. Finally! I'm getting it. Plan ahead Felicia! Life will be easier! Life will be filled with more time to read and do fun stuff like... laundry! Oh yeah...the laundry. That's next.

http://www.amateurgourmet.com/2008/12/rigatoni_bologn.html

Links to this post |
5

Thanksgiving 2008

Posted by Felicia on 1:02 PM

Turkey for me
Turkey for you
Let's eat the turkey
In my big brown shoe
Love to eat the turkey
At the table
I once saw a movie
With Betty Grable
Eat that turkey
All night long
Fifty million Elvis fans
Can't be wrong
Turkey lurkey doo and
Turkey lurkey dap
I eat that turkey
Then I take a nap

-Adam Sandler-The Thanksgiving Song

I'd like to change the last line to " Turkey lurkey doo and turkey lurley lick. I eat that turkey then I get real sick." Oh cuz I so did.

Thanksgiving 2008 will go down in my history as a bonafide suckfest. Oh we had all the trimmings and everything seemed great, but trouble was afoot.

Since this was my grandmother's first Thanksgiving in Alabama in her new home we were all excited to head over there and spend the holiday weekend reminiscing on past holidays, mourn and fondly remember our family member who died 2 weeks ago, and enjoy some good family cooking.
I was in charge of the green bean casserole,sweet potato casserole, cranberry mandarin orange sauce, and the rolls. I got ambitious too. I made the rolls from SCRATCH. With YEAST. Oh yeah...go me! I was rockin' the home cookin y'all! By 2pm we headed over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house. Ok...so there's no river, but there IS a creek and technically some woods. We arrived to a very sick grandmother who was not feeling the spirit of Thanksgiving. No, she was feeling the spirit of Nyquil. God Bless. So my mom and I prepared most of the rest of the stuff while she took a little pre-turkey nap. The turkey was already cooking and the pies were baked, meringueless lemon and pumpkin. My mouth was watering.
An hour before it was time to eat my grandmother gets up and gimps into the kitchen and proceeds to unleash a torrent of grumpiness on us. FUN! She got upset because the stuffing she made was too wet and my mom tried to help her. It became what I like to refer to as a "savory bread pudding". Um...pass, but you must not offend so you say, "Yum grandma! Looks good!"She also proceeded to get onto Colin about god knows what...maybe being a kid.
By the time we sat down I had already had a bloody mary, 2 glasses of wine and coffee with Bailey's. Escape much this holiday? haha. I ate with total abandon even though I wasn't really hungry. Big mistake. I felt like the turkey. Stuffed and cooked. I was officially done with Thanksgiving. An hour later I couldn't take anymore and said my goodbyes as the evening was only getting worse. I left with promises of returning the next evening for leftovers.


The next day I woke up not feeling well, but pushed it aside and went to work. I wasn't really hungry and didn't eat all day. By the time we got to my grandmother's house it was after 5pm. She was feeling much better. I was not. We finally ate around 7pm and ended up looking over old family photos that had been "lost" for 14 years. Around 9 I started to feel like I was breaking out in a cold sweat and things quickly went down hill. I said goodbye and practically ran out the door and raced home. I spent the next 7 hrs becoming very intimate with the porcelain god. *I love you...call me.* I didn't get to sleep until 5am. And the next 2 days were a blur.
I feel better now if somewhat weak. My grandmother called to see if I wanted to come over for leftovers again. Again...pass. I have no craving whatsoever for turkey or anything that goes with it. Although bonus...nothing like a stomach virus to kick start a diet.
One of the big plus sides was that Rick entertained me throughout and made me feel heaps better...and still managed to find me attractive despite my pale, sickly appearance. You have to love a man who can do that.

I hope you all had a wonderful and much better Thanksgiving than I did.


Links to this post |
8

A to the Q

Posted by Felicia on 12:07 PM
Ok, I'm sorry it took so long to answer this. We had a family tragedy on Tuesday. We are coping.

Ok...so for the answers.




1. Colin called me a corn chip.
True- I was putting him to bed one night and I said to him, "Goodnight my little Frito Bandito." He looked at me and said. " Goodnight my little corn chip." That kid is hilarious.

2. The Veggie Tales "Cheeseburger Song" may have changed the course of my life.
True- I've met someone and things took a different turn after I sang him this song. lol Go figure. I think it a testament to my quirky self. My course may lead me down under in the future. Things are looking good.

3. I backed into another car causing $600 worth of damage. On Halloween.
True- Fuck all. Damnit. Shit. Hell. Ok....yeah that's gonna continue to hurt for 3 years.

4. I read 5 books in 7 days.
True- I began watching True Blood on HBO and found the books. They were like CRACK! Just sayin...lol So good I whipped through 5 of them in a week. Oh hey...what's that? I have laundry? And a kid to feed? Dishes? huh?

5. I took my cat Milo for a walk outside on a leash.
True- Some new crappy neighbors complained that my cat had been on their car. The guy made a point to tell me cats wandering around without a leash are subject to a $500 fine. I apologized and he said," no problem...hopefully it won't happen again or I'll be forced to call." Can you say asshole cat hater? The last time I tried to keep my cat in he got stressed and got a bladder infection and swelling from anxiety. The vet recommended I let him be an indoor/outdoor cat. Oh well. So I strapped a leash on my cat and took him out? Can we say FAIL. I hate my new neighbor.

Well Holly...you were the first one to guess correctly! You win a $15 gift card for Starbucks. Just email me your mailing info.
Thanks for playing along everyone!

Links to this post |
3

True or False?

Posted by Felicia on 11:11 AM
Thank you to everyone for your support. You guys are awesome. These past few months have just been overwhelming and I have no idea where to start.

I'm writing down a few things that have happened to me lately, or not. You decide if it's true or not. If you want to play along please do. I will send out a Starbucks gift card to whomever guesses the most correctly. No...FOR REALS! I so will!

1. Colin called me a corn chip.

2. The Veggie Tales "Cheeseburger Song" may have changed the course of my life.

3. I backed into another car causing $600 worth of damage. On Halloween.

4. I read 5 books in 7 days.

5. I took my cat Milo for a walk outside on a leash.

I will give it a couple of days to see if anyone wants to play and then I'll disclose the answers and any explanations should there be lingering questions. lol

Links to this post |
5

Auntie Meme

Posted by Felicia on 11:03 AM in
In what has to be the slowest response time to a TAG meme...I offer this courtesy of my FABULOUS(hehe...couldn't resist) friend Rachel.

And I know...I haven't blogged in like a million years and then I crap out with a meme. That's how I roll.....
I promise to post more soon. I have lots to share.

You’re feeling: Happier if slightly headache-ish.

To your left: Work stuff and the book A Great and Terrible Beauty

On your mind: Australia

Last meal included: Split pea soup and toast.

You sometimes find it hard to: Stealing my answer from Rachel who stole it from Ally- BE PATIENT! I hate waiting!

The weather: Overcast, gray, wet, chilly

Something you have a collection of: Anne of Green Gables stuff. Cookbooks, Anthologies, doll, guidebooks. Yeah I know...major nerd.

A smell that cheers you up: Wood smoke. Makes me think of autumn. Mmm... Yep...same here...oh and clean laundry!

A smell that can ruin your mood: smelly bathroom

How long since you last shaved: This morning.

The current state of your hair: Rockin a cute ponytail

The largest item on your desk/workspace (not computer): My desk calendar

Your skill with chopsticks: I am pretty awesome with chopsticks. Not "Karate Kid catch a fly in chopsticks" awesome, but pretty damn good.

Which section do you head for first in a bookstore: Fiction!

Something you’re craving: Cake...really good cake.

Your general thoughts on the presidential race: None of the Above

How many times have you been hospitalized this year: None!

Favorite place to go for a quiet moment: My bed. It's like a cloud.

You’ve always secretly thought you’d be a good: Actress

Something that freaks you out a little: SPIDERS!

Something you’ve eaten too much of lately: English muffins

You have never: been skiing

You never want to: lose my loved ones

Links to this post |
5

Road Trip!

Posted by Felicia on 10:39 AM
Friday afternoon I will be heading Southeast to one of the best little college towns this side of the Mississippi.
AUBURN UNIVERSITY!




The place where THIS happens at Toomer's Corner.



Home of the Tigers!


Home to this little lady.



I will be visiting my enormously talented, and beautiful friend Rachel for some much needed girl time where we will eat, drink, and be merry. I am soooo excited. We always have the best time together and no one makes me laugh like she does. This will be a most decadent, relaxing weekend with one of my best friends. Could life get any better? I think not.

Links to this post |
5

No More Neglect

Posted by Felicia on 11:17 AM
I've been neglectful of many things lately.

1. This blog.
2. Reading and/or commenting on all of the fabulous blogs listed on the right. I am sorry.
3. Dishes. Hello! There's paper plates.
4. Laundry. Seriously have way too many clothes to wash. My washing machine hissed at me this morning.
5. Cooking. That's why microwaves were invented. And Domino's.
6. Me. Have been eating bad things. Evil carbs.

Things I have spent more time on lately:
1. My son- I'm a lucky woman
2. Sleeping
3. My fave TV shows
4. My friends
5. Couch potato status. Level Orange. Dangerous.
6. Baseball games.
7. Cubscout activities.

Things I will be doing more of.
1. Visiting friends
2. Reading
3. Walking
4. Picture taking
5. Sleeping
6. Eating better.
7. Spending time with my grandmother.

It's good to focus on the positive! :)

Links to this post |
6

Barefoot

Posted by Felicia on 10:39 AM
Did you ever find a really great pair of "shoes" that from the minute you saw them you wanted them? You didn't know why and had no reason to get them, but you knew you had to have them. You tried them on and walked up and down the aisles of the store and swore to yourself what a good fit they were even if they were a teensy bit tight. Of course they'll loosen up though, you thought to yourself. It just takes a while to find that comfortable point, and sometimes shoes are like that;you have to walk in them to know if they're the right shoe for you. And maybe this pair of shoes was a different color or style than you would normally get, but you were smitten with them so you decided to get them. You could tell though that this particular pair wanted you too. They screamed out for you, and they were so shiny and new and just such great shoes that you made the impulse buy. And you were so glad you did because it felt so good to be in them, and you loved how they looked when they were on.

When you wore those shoes you felt beautiful and they made you feel good inside as if nothing could get you down. You could definitely see being in those shoes for awhile and wearing them with everything, that's how cool these shoes were. People noticed you in those shoes. You were confident, happy,and positively glowing with them on.

You took care of those shoes too. Those weren't just any shoes. You were careful to mind the puddles and the mud. You put them away with care instead of just throwing them on the floor by the door because it was convenient. But then a few weeks went by and you started to notice that you didn't feel as special when you were in those shoes. They were starting to pinch when they were on, and you started getting that feeling that maybe they didn't go with everything or that you were just so taken by them and wanted them so badly at first that you didn't notice that they were trying to tell you they pinched from the beginning. You started wearing them less and less. Those shoes weren't really calling out to you to wear them as much. You felt bad because you invested some time and happy memories in them, but now they weren't working out. You stuck it out for a little bit, but eventually you realized that they were never meant to be your shoes. The shoes didn't just pinch you, they hurt you. But you didn't know that until you walked in them. Oh sure, you could have kept them around and taken them out every now and then, but would it have made you as happy? No. It was probably best to let them go. Those shoes would find a new owner and be a better fit.
You would always remember those shoes though. They were awesome shoes. Someday you knew that you would find a pair that you just knew you could wear for years and years to come. But for the time being? For the time being you would go without. And somehow you knew that you were going to be ok going barefoot.

Links to this post |
3

Today

Posted by Felicia on 1:31 PM
I am absolutely in love with this song. His name is Joshua Radin and he sang this song called TODAY at Ellen Degeneres' wedding recently. I have listened to this no less than 20 times and am falling for it more with every listen. Try to download this one. So worth it.


Links to this post |
6

Weird Association

Posted by Felicia on 11:42 AM
Everyone has those memories where in your life 2 different things are inextricably linked in your mind because of an event or a moment that happened and trying to seperate them is damn near impossible. They are unique to our life stories, experiences, etc... I will attempt to write down five sets of two things that are forever linked together for me.

1. Hall & Oates and blue braided exercise rope

2. Toffifay and Woolworth's

3. Lollipops and pigeons

4. Revlon Flex shampoo and Camp Roberts Army Base

5. Father Figure by George Michael and God.

You're probably thinking Como say huh? Yeah...lol memories are weird like that.

1. Hall & Oates and blue braided exercise rope.
Back in 1983 we lived in Palmdale, Ca. My mom and dad had just split up and my mom decided to take a jazzercise class (all the rage then)at the local rec. center to feel better. She would bring my sister and I and we would sit in the back watching her and 18 other women bounce around in their shiny lycra leotards and sweatbands. They used these blue nylon braided ropes for some of their moves and my sister and I grabbed one and proceeded to spend the remaining hour unbraiding and "brushing" it and the whole time we did that the entire album for Hall & Oates-Private Eyes was playing in the background. So whenever I hear I Can't Go For That I think of blue nylon braided rope.

2. Toffifay and Woolworth's
In our little desert town of Palmdale we didn't have a whole lot of stores there in the early 80s. We did have a Woolworth's though which if anyone had one, it was just a "five and dime" kind of store. I don't remember anything we got there except for this candy called Toffifay.
Whenever we went to that store we would get some and so if and when I ever see that candy I can't help but remember our trips to Woolworth's.

3. Lollipops and pigeons
I was almost 3 yrs old. We were in the parking lot of a restaurant and I had a lollipop in my hand. There were pigeons all around the parking lot and my uncle told me he would hold my lollipop for me so the pigeons wouldn't take it because I was little. When I asked for it back as we walked in he told me that the pigeons had stolen my lollipop.(He threw it away) I got so mad I screamed at the pigeons and tried to chase them off. I started to cry and when we went in to the restaurant the waitress asked why I was crying and I told her the "punk pigeons stole my lollipop". So yeah. I believed that for YEARS!! lol

4. Revlon Flex Shampoo and Camp Roberts Army Base
I was in high school and I was in a group called Youth in Government (*cough* geek) We would take weekend conference trips twice during the school year to Paso Robles for training. We stayed at the Camp Roberts army base. At the time I had just bought Revlon's Flex shampoo because I really liked the balsam scent and I took it up with me and liked it so much I kept bringing it with me and so now whenever I smell that I think of Camp Roberts.

5. Father Figure by George Michael and God.
This one is just a funny memory for me. It was 1988 and that song was everywhere on the radio. My very religious grandmother and I were driving in the car somehwere and that song came on. She heard George Michael sing...I will be your Father Figure, put your tiny hand in mine...and said " Ooooh a song about God!" I cringed and kept quiet because I knew what a mistake it would have been to open my mouth just then. After about 1 minute of listening to the song she said " Oh, I guess it's not!"
I had to try so hard not to smile or laugh. She told my mom later she didn't approve of me listening to that "smut" music. So yeah...Father Figure and GOD! lol

So now it's your turn. What things do you associate with each other and why?

Links to this post |
6

Unspectacular quirks

Posted by Felicia on 8:33 AM
Heather tagged me for this so I thought I would be a good sport and fill it out.
Rules:
1. Link the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules on your blog.
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.


1. I have the same routine in the shower every morning as far as the order in which I do things. Shampoo and conditioner, then while conditioner is in hair, wash face and body, rinse everything. A few times I have been distracted and done them out of order and it throws me off completely.

2. If I find something I like at a restaurant, I will stick with that same thing for the longest time. Sometimes I will start to order something new and end up ordering what I always order because I don't want to be disappointed. I did this on Sunday at P.F. Chang's. I ordered something new and it was awful so I sent it back and ended up ordering my usual.

3. Even though I have my bed to myself I still just sleep on one side of it. I tried sleeping in the middle and just ended up on one side in the morning again. My multitude of pillows staged a coup against me forcing me to one side. haha

4. I twirl my hair a lot. I do it when I'm nervous or have a lot on my mind. I also do it when I'm bored. This has been going on since age 3.

5. I only seperate my laundry into 2 piles. Lights and darks. I shun laundering rules.

6. I cringe inwardly at the sound of liquid being poured into a glass. Ick.

I won't tag anyone though...You may do as you wish. :)

Links to this post |
6

Carnival

Posted by Felicia on 8:24 AM


This weekend found us making a visit to the carnival that came into town this past weekend. Much fun was had by everyone and we all left a little poorer and sweatier. I hate summer in the South.
Also, when your appetite has not been good for 2 weeks? Carnival Funnel Cake? Not such a good idea. Ugh.







"Mom? Can I be a carnie?"
"NO. Wait, I'm not going to say that. You can be whatever you want to be." *cringe*
"Would I have to fry stuff?"
"Among other things, yes."
"Then I don't want to be a carnie."
"Good call."


Links to this post |
4

Into the Groove

Posted by Felicia on 5:48 AM in
Baseball gives every American boy a chance to excel, not just to be as good as someone else but to be better than someone else. This is the nature of man and the name of the game.”

Ted Williams(American Baseball Player, 1918-2002)


Like me, Colin has always been the kind of kid that took his time finding his niche in things. He is a careful observer and watches and mimics what he sees. He picks things up pretty darn fast. Such is the case yesterday at his first baseball practice for "Fall Ball". He hadn't played since he was 5 and then it was using a tee to hit and trying to get your kid to run around the bases in the right direction. So very cute, but at the time he was very bored which explains why he had no desire to play again. Until now. We attended my friend Beth's son's games this spring and the baseball bug bit. HARD. SO I signed him up for the fall session because it is a good place for beginners to learn the game or for former players who just want to keep playing and hone their skills.

When he got out onto the field I was happy and nervous for him because most of the boys on his team had played continuously and thus knew how to throw, hit, and field. It immediately became apparent just how rusty he was. When it was his turn to field he missed, fumbled and threw the ball which came nowhere near the first baseman. Um.... he threw like a girl. Yikes. I cringed inwardly hoping he wouldn't get discouraged. But true to form within 20 min he was fielding them and making it all the way to the first baseman. And when it was his turn to hit, he got it on the first try and smacked it out into left field. Four times. He was finding his niche. He was grinning ear to ear when he walked off the field.





Once back in the dugout he walked over to where I was and said, "Did you see me hit mom?" "I sure did! You hit it on the first try!" I said smiling at him. The Asst. coach overheard me and said, "That's a hitter right there." Colin practically swelled with pride and I swear I saw his chest puff up. "Hey coach. That first ball I hit? That was what you call a line drive, right?" The coach smiled and looked at me and said to him, "Yes, I believe it was." I think he found his groove.


Links to this post |
5

Here Comes The Sun

Posted by Felicia on 7:06 AM
This blog needs a major shot of happiness. I have been down for too long, and that is just not like me. You know it's time to turn it around when your boss tiptoes around you and asks you every half hour if you're ok because he knows you've been mentally gouging his eyeballs out with paper clips.:)
So the last couple of days have felt pretty good. I'm making the universe work for me and changing my karma around.

Things learned in past week.
1. Panic attacks will make food unappetizing. Bonus.
2. Guitar Hero III= Major time suck.
3. Mis-prioritization of tasks will make you a Guitar Hero champion.
4. Great friends ALWAYS make you feel better.
5. I am better when I am honest with myself and don't try to be some other stupid version of myself.
6. Wine is good.

Pounds lost in last 2 weeks due to unappetizing idea of eating.
4
Fit into kinda tight work pants today that are not tight at all. Sweet.

Total el b's lost in 2 months?
Twelve Even sweeter. Am starting to see my curves again.

Things never to understimate.
1. The healing power of my favorite song Just Like Heaven by The Cure. ALWAYS feels better.
2 That singing of said song in the car at the top of your lungs no matter what you look like to others will make you smile. A lot.
2. The power of a hug.
3. The power of your kid's love for you even when you suck as a parent.
4. The cathartic effect of blogging.
5. The power of your blogging friends who comment on your site and make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Thank you for the support.


A lady came in this morning to pay her bill and she always comes in like Eeyore. Life NEVER seems to be good for her and nothing positive comes out of her mouth. My smiles have no effect on her.
Me: Hi! How are you? Isn't it gorgeous out? It's nice to see the sun out after all of that rain.

Eeyore: It's still wet out. It ain't that gorgeous.

Me: Yes it is. It's just like heaven.

Links to this post |
4

I've seen a million faces...and I've Rocked Them All!

Posted by Felicia on 8:59 PM
My hand...let me show you it.



That my friends is a condition. A very serious condition, deformity, if you will, caused from hard rocking. A common deformity due to overuse of GUITAR HERO. Oh, but yes. Now granted I am late to the game as most people have been playing this for a very long time, but I was only recently introduced to it. And since then, I have purchased my own game set and as a result I now need surgery to correct the deformity to my fingers. Haha!
Boy, I really had no idea what a time suck that game is. Seriously, I told myself one game just to practice. Cut to 2 hrs later. I'm still playing and my fingers are aching, but I CANNOT STOP. I'm sorry, but when Slash challenges you to a battle...you battle! Oh, and I won. Welcome to MY Jungle! What? Laundry? Household chores? What's that?
Colin, in his usual "quick study" style, managed to get it down after 2 tries. Me, not so much. Of course now that I've played it more it has gotten easier.




If I'm not blogging please come find me and seek medical attention for me to surgically remove the guitar from my hands.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have some more playing laundry to do.

Links to this post |
4

And That's Lunch!

Posted by Felicia on 12:48 PM
At lunch today with my friend Beth and her co-workers.

David: You didn't see the Verne Troyer sex tape?

Me: No. But I read about it. I think he got lost in the tub under all the bubbles.

Brian: How big was the tub?

David: Like jacuzzi size. She could have at least not filled it up all the way. The guy could have drowned.

Brian: How the heck did they...do stuff??

Beth: What are you guys talking about down there?

David: Midget porn

Beth: *sigh*

Me: Wow. Time to go already?

Links to this post |
6

You Give Love A Bad Name!

Posted by Felicia on 10:44 AM
I think I am definitely convinced that Bon Jovi was put on this earth to make the awesomely fantastic album Slippery When Wet to make us happy. Amen.

Links to this post |
5

No More W(h)ining

Posted by Felicia on 2:04 PM
Coming home last night after another crappy day I quickly shed my work clothes and crawled into some comfy pjs. What to do for dinner? I was so not in the mood to cook. Pizza! YES! Perfect! I was still tense and on edge and was trying to breathe through the stress when I opened the fridge. Ooooh.....I still have wine. A very lovely, cold, Sauvignon Blanc. Now ordinarily I do not drink when I have had a shitty day because at that point there would be no restraint and it would only cause me to start crying massive tears into my wine glass and that's just not cool. Plus, I don't want to drink and start feeling all sorry for myself and wallow in my self-pity alone. My pity party. Bring cake! I decided,however, that since I was on day 2 of crappy days, I could therefore justify drinking one glass to relax and calm my nerves. Besides, pizza would be here in 30 min. It wouldn't be bad at all. I grabbed a regular drinking glass,not even caring that it wasn't a wine glass. Fancy am I. I poured some wine into it and proceeded to drink it while I ordered pizza. Within minutes I was feeling a bit better. I sat down on the couch and put my feet up.
Did you know that 30 min of sipping on wine waiting for pizza is good enough time to get light-headed and fuzzy? ( I have the tolerance of a gnat)Apparently you will turn on the TV and find VH1 classics and deem A-ha's Take On Me video the greatest song EVER and the video totally bitchin!. Why didn't you become a groupie?!? You continue to countdown the hits of the 80s and relive your crush on George Michael ALL OVER again. Back then you thought gay meant happy. HAHA.
Then when the pizza guy comes you will profess your love for him and give him a disgustingly big tip because...DUDE...he brought food...to your house...and you didn't have to cook it! If that's not love...ok...it could just be his job. Whatever. :P
I ate a slice and finished my wine hoping I would start to get sleepy and slip comfortably into slumber. I got on the internet instead and began to catch up on things. Probably not the best time to read anything tragic. The tears started flowing a bit. I decided enough was enough and I would have to find something funny to watch because even though I wasn't crying over myself, I clearly did not listen to my "no wine when blue" rule. As it turns out you will watch episodes of The Office to make you laugh and will relive your crush for "JIM" all over again. Why didn't you become a groupie?!?

Links to this post |
8

Against the Wind

Posted by Felicia on 12:04 PM
I am on edge today. Really f*&%ing, twisting my hair, wanna run til my lungs give out, edgy. The kind of edgy where you don't know if you should have a really good cry or go off on the next person who royally pisses you off. At this point it might be both. I know this feeling won't last forever. I want to think positively and believe that things will only get better. I am a positive person by nature, but every girl has her off day.
I woke up with a feeling that things weren't quite right and at 8:35AM I found myself still stuck in traffic on a road I hardly ever go down on a day that had me thinking about taking different roads. Was this some sort of cosmic fortelling of my day? Perhaps. Or maybe it was just adding to my already rooting feeling of impending doom for the day. I got to work 20 min. late and tried to shake off the feeling of ickiness that threatened to ruin my day.
Then when I think things couldn't get worse. Things won't print, customers whine and won't listen. Boss who hovers like a police helicopter in pursuit of a criminal. Computer jams up...starting over. That knot in the pit of your stomach that threatens to send the contents of your meager breakfast upwards. The realization that as a person on the clock, cutting out early means 5 hrs less on your paycheck. Ugh.
I know...I know. Pour me a nice big cup of Shut the Hell Up. But, hey, we all have our days like this, right?
I am reminded of a day when I was about 12 and my world felt like it was crashing down. Things were tumultuous and changing, and I was feeling out of control. I had P.E. 2nd period with our Nazi-like gym teachers whose idea of fun was to make you run a cross-country. I hated running. I dreaded it every day and knowing it was mandatory only added to my anxiety. I was always in the back of my group. But that day was different. We had to run a figure eight around the school. I started out at my usual pace and watched the other kids pass me by. That knot in my stomach got bigger and to ease it I ran harder. I ran even harder and ended up near the front of my class. I ran and ran until my lungs felt like exploding. When I finally reached the end, I burst into tears and walked away. I felt better and worse. Relieved, but hurting.
Today is like that. I either need to run harder or I need a really big fucking hug.

Links to this post |
3

Pancakes-Panthanks

Posted by Felicia on 5:04 AM in
Colin: Ooooooh..pancakes!!! MMMMMmmmmmm Thank you.*Puts bite in mouth* These are really good mom. Thanks for cooking them for me.

Me: You're welcome sweetie.

Colin: Or should I say...thanks for heating them up? hahahahahahaha

Me: Punk. I MADE those and stored them in the freezer remember? So technically I did both.

Colin: Not bad...for heating up. hahaha

* He starts his Romanian gypsy circus career next week. Punk.*

Links to this post |
4

Shout Outs

Posted by Felicia on 7:41 AM
I need to give some THANK YOU shout outs today.

To the makers of Midol- Thank you. Your combination of ingredients allowed me to feel human again, and gave me much needed relief. Without you I might have committed numerous, murderous acts against the general population. Thank you for allowing me to live free from criminal acts and thus saving me from a life behind bars. I am forever in your debt.

To Mother Nature- Thank you for making tasty, tasty oranges so that we may squeeze its delicious juices into cartons and partake of its sweet orangey goodness. Yeah for Vitamin C!-

To the makers of high thread count sheets- Thank you for providing me with an excuse to never get out of bed again while I recover in luxurious comfort. Can I get an Amen?

To Advil PM- Thank you for giving me the gift of a good night's sleep with the promise of no pain. I think I'm in love with you.

To Beth- Thank you for taking my calls late at night and calling to check on me. You are my specialist friend. And not short-bus special either. Awesome special.

To RR- Thank you for being there for me. You are awesome, and your biceps are kick-ass. ;)

Now if I could only get back to bed...

Links to this post |
7

Back to School-2008-2009 Edition

Posted by Felicia on 5:27 PM in
I am subtitling this "Thank You Sweet 8 lb. Baby Jesus"

Today! Today! The first day of school is here. *tear*. I'm just so happy. Excuse me a minute while I wipe my eyes. No, it's not sadness. It's outright JOY. haha Summer camp tuition-OVER! Late summertime bedtime hours-OVER! Whining about nothing to do-OVER!

Lest you think I am heartless and cruel, I did take pictures for his album. He looked awfully cute. But I "have to say that because I'm his mom." You know.
In any case I hope he has a great first day of school.
My first day of 5th grade was intimidating. We had just moved to a new city and I had to leave all of my old friends behind and face the prospect of making new ones all over again. This would be the fourth time in 2 years I had to do this.This time though we were staying put. I was excited and completely nervous.
I picked out my outfit for the day. It was a gray corduroy(shut up!)sleeveless dress that had a light gray plaidish type shirt with peter pan collar to go underneath. White knee socks and gray mary jane shoes completed the ensemble. You all can stop laughing now. It was AWESOME. I loved that outfit. Ok, ok, I was a complete dork. My outfit...let me show you it.(some of it anyway) I can has taste?




My son however? Cool as a cucumber. Of course I may find out 25 years from now he was a nervous pile of goo and was being cool for my sake. Kids. Geesh.






Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books


Gotta go now. I have something in my eye.

Links to this post |
1

Going Barefoot

Posted by Felicia on 4:18 PM
Did you ever find a really great pair of shoes that from the minute you saw them you wanted them? You didn't know why and had no reason to get them, but you knew you had to have them. You tried them on and walked up and down the aisles of the store and swore to yourself what a good fit they were even if they were a teensy bit tight. Of course they'll loosen up though, you thought to yourself. It just takes a while to find that comfortable point, and sometimes shoes are like that;you have to walk in them to know if they're the right shoe for you. And maybe this pair of shoes was a different color or style than you would normally get, but you were smitten with them so you decided to get them. You could tell though that this particular pair wanted you too. They screamed out for you, and they were so shiny and new and just such great shoes that you made the impulse buy. And you were so glad you did because it felt so good to be in them, and you loved how they looked when they were on.

When you wore those shoes you felt beautiful and they made you feel good inside as if nothing could get you down. You could definitely see being in those shoes for awhile and wearing them with everything, that's how cool these shoes were. People noticed you in those shoes. You were confident, happy,and positively glowing with them on.

You took care of those shoes too. Those weren't just any shoes. You were careful to mind the puddles and the mud. You put them away with care instead of just throwing them on the floor by the door because it was convenient. But then a few weeks went by and you started to notice that you didn't feel as special when you were in those shoes. They were starting to pinch when they were on, and you started getting that feeling that maybe they didn't go with everything or that you were just so taken by them and wanted them so badly at first that you didn't notice that they were trying to tell you they pinched from the beginning. You started wearing them less and less. Those shoes weren't really calling out to you to wear them as much. You felt bad because you invested some time and happy memories in them, but now they weren't working out. You stuck it out for a little bit, but eventually you realized that they were never meant to be your shoes. The shoes didn't just pinch you, they hurt you. But you didn't know that until you walked in them. Oh sure, you could have kept them around and taken them out every now and then, but would it have made you as happy? No. It was probably best to let them go. Those shoes would find a new owner and be a better fit.
You would always remember those shoes though. They were awesome shoes. Someday you knew that you would find a pair that you just knew you could wear for years and years to come. But for the time being? For the time being you would go without. And somehow you knew that you were going to be ok going barefoot.

Links to this post |
6

Back to School Time!

Posted by Felicia on 9:49 AM
Remember Back-to-School time? The excitement of new school clothes, new school supplies, and the like always made me feel good until the second week of school wherein I hated homework and could care less if I ever saw another pencil again. Bleh.
I braved the aisles of our local Target yesterday to pick up the much needed school supplies that Colin will need to fulfill his 5th grade destiny of becoming the "coolest" kid which apparently includes skulls and flames on his lunchbox, a "Trapper Keeper-esque" folder, and a backpack the size of a compact car.
In Alabama this weekend our legislature gives us 3 days tax-free to purchase school supplies and clothes to give the public a break. I normally wait until that weekend, but after last year's experience of fighting for wide-ruled paper and driving to 5 different locations to find graph paper, I decided to go early and just get it done. I would spend more in gas than it would cost to just pay the FRIGGIN 8% tax. I'll probably take advantage of the tax break to buy clothes, but the hassle of fighting carts and hearing over zealous mothers scream at their kids to-FIND THE 3 PRONGED FOLDERS! Not THAT kind, the OTHER kind! WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY'RE OUT?!?!?-is not worth it. I would sooner take a freshly sharpened No. 2 pencil and jab it in my eye.

I swear that back when I was a kid in the 80s all we were required to purchase were folders, pencils, pens, and paper. NOW? Now we are required to purchase 2! 2 packs of dry erase markers, 1200 pieces of loose leaf paper, 80(yes 80) pencils, composition books, and tons of 3 PRONGED FRICKIN POCKET FOLDERS. Because apparently I am required to buy school supplies for the ENTIRE 5th grade! What the hell happened?
All things taken into account though I am glad the boy is going back. He's been a major pain in the butt lately with his pre-pubescent attitude and I am really close to shipping him off to military school. ATTENTION! Despite the looming threat of homework hell it will be nice to have him back and busy and challenged.

After our little shopping adventure I stopped by the food court to buy him a hot dog and sit out the rainstorm. I asked him what he was most excited about this school year.
Colin: I am excited about new teachers, new friends, and new homework.
Me: New homework?
Colin: Well, you know, like more CHALLENGING homework.
Me: Oh! Were you not challenged enough in the 4th grade? Challenging could mean harder ya know.
Colin: Yeah, but my bionic brain can handle it. I may have a small head, but it's full of brains.
Me: *snicker* I'm not even going to take the shot.
Colin: What? You think my head is HUGE?
Me: No. It's just right.
Colin: If someone says my head is huge I would just say " YEAH! TO HOLD ALL OF MY BRAINS!" haha So there!
Me: Yeah! So There!
Colin: Don't you wish you were as smart as me Mom?
Me: I lay awake in bed wishing every night.
Colin: Duh.



Yep. Back to School. Hot damn!

Links to this post |
4

Rockin' Blogger

Posted by Felicia on 9:28 AM
This weekend I had the pleasure of meeting a fellow blogger who essentially got me started on the whole blogging thing to begin with. And just let me say that Stacey over at I need a [permanent] vacation is as awesome as you would expect. Not only is she smart and beautiful, but so down to earth and sweet. I felt like I had known her for years and years.
We had a great lunch at Blue Plate Cafe and then knocked back a couple of drinks at a local pub called Hair of the Dog where we just talked and talked. I'm really glad she doesn't live far because this is one person I could totally hang out with more.
She also took me on a tour of the newspaper plant where she works. I got to meet her very cool friend Jim and then got to see the printing press and how the plates to print the information are made. It was really cool.
Stacey, Thanks for everything. I had a blast. Let's do it again!

Links to this post |
3

Secret Lovers

Posted by Felicia on 8:19 AM
Before the feelings of being down and out hit Sunday, I did have the opportunity to spend a great evening enjoying dinner and a movie with a good friend of mine at our new Bridge Street Town Center here in town. It was a perfect way to spend the night.
We had dinner and drinks at the Scene Lounge inside the theaters where I had a Spicy Mango Martini. Um...yum. So good. The food and drinks were great even if the service was a tad on the slow side. Overall it was just nice to relax and enjoy good company.
After dinner we saw The Dark Knight. Of course. Like I would miss that one. The movie was nothing short of spectacular. The casting was amazing, the performances unbelievably good, and the plot filled with twists and turns that left you wanting more. This raised the bar for what superhero movies should be.
Oh, and Christian Bale? My new boyfriend. Mmmm Hmmm. Sure he doesn't know it yet, but with some careful stalking and well written love letters he will be persuaded. Hehe Ok, Ok....So I'm not the stalking type. Damn. haha

Speaking of celebrity boyfriends....Has anyone seen the Dr. Horrible Sing-Along Blog with Neil Patrick Harris(gay crush-Why yes Dr. Howser, a kiss WOULD make it all better. lol) and Nathan Fillion? If not, you must, must, must! It's a three part mini-musical made by the Whedon bros.(of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fame) and it is pure awesomeness! So fun. It was available for free viewing for a few days, but now can only be purchased at iTunes. You want this. You need this. You know you want to see it.

Links to this post |
3

Whine & Sympathy

Posted by Felicia on 11:14 AM
I was not in the greatest of moods yesterday. In a moment of superhero weakness I succumbed to the delicate female condition and spent the majority of the day on the couch bemoaning my curse. On top of that I had a bunch of housework that needed to be done, I was tired and grumpy,I was worried about other things, and the constant whining coming from my child was causing me to have random daydreams about dropping him off on someone else's doorstep for a week armed with his legos and a week's supply of waffles. Ok, so really not something I would do of course, but tempting at the time. Instead I watched Pride & Prejudice and called in for emotional reinforcement.
I called Beth and J. Both gave sympathy and offers of company and ice cream. I declined on both seeing as how I wouldn't be the best company and Ben & Jerry would only have offered empty calories. DELICIOUS calories, but empty nonetheless. It was the thought that counted. They listened to my whining and gave me what I needed at that moment. An ear.
Sometimes all you need is for someone to listen and tell you everything is going to be o.k. It might not be, but it's nice to have friends who know when to tell it to you straight and when to soothe your troubles with sympathy and nice words.
We all have our moments of weakness where we feel like the world is going to cave in on us, and at any moment you may break from the pressure of holding everything up, but you can always count on your friend to sit next to you and take some of the pressure off of that burden even if all that involves is saying, I know sweetie. You're not alone. And as it turns out, I'm really not. I have friends. I am never alone.

Links to this post |
4

Showered with Embarrassment

Posted by Felicia on 12:33 PM
Embarrassing moments. We all have them. Some more than others. I seem to be prone to them and have had quite a few embarrassing moments in my life.

When I was a sophomore in high school I was part of a group called Youth In Government (cough* GEEK) where we formed a mock government and took conference trips to pass bills and elect officials. We would take 2 trips to San Luis Obispo before our big Sacramento trip where we stayed at Camp San Luis Obispo. We stayed in 2 person barrack shacks that were scattered all over and of course we had barrack type latrines and shower facilities. On that particular trip the girls in our area were complaining that we did not have a bathroom/shower close to us yet there were 2 designated for boys within 15 ft of each other. It was brought up at our last group assembly for the night in front of some 2000 high school students. By 9:30pm, we were all a little caged at that point. The advisors noticed the mistake on the map and announced that latrine #456(whatever) would now be designated for girls. I was happy now that I no longer had to trek a bajillion miles to take a shower.
When I got back to my shack I got all my shower gear and clothes and told my shackmate where I was going and asked if she wanted to come with. She declined saying she had a card game to go to in Tim's shack.
I walked to the newly female designated restroom facility and tore down the paper sign that read BOYS. The entire place was empty! Woohooo...all to myself. This one even had shower curtains. Clearly it had been an error on the advisors part to make this a boys area. Ppfffttt. Out of 15 curtained shower heads I chose the middle one. I put my clothes down on the wooden bench against the opposite wall and went into my little shower "stall". I turned the water on and let the hot water run over me.
A few minutes later I heard someone walk into the bathroom. Oh well. I knew I couldn't be alone for long with 1999 other kids around. "Who's in here?" a voice called out from the door. O.M.G. It was a guy. My heart panicked and I poked my head out of the shower and screamed out " Get the hell out! This is a girls bathroom. I'm showering!!!" The guy looked shocked to see me and yelled out that it was a boys bathroom. He clearly had not been listening at the meeting. I told him to get the hell out AGAIN and he disappeared.
By this time my heart was racing and I hastily finished my shower. Just as I turned the water off I heard voices. PLURAL. " Dude! There is a girl in there! I'm telling you. She's SHOWERING!" I just talked to her." I could hear about 5 boys talking and shushing each other. I had a mild heart attack. I obviously could not run to the bench and get my clothes because they would be in the bathroom in 1 second. I quickly grabbed the metal tubing that ran along the wall above me and placed my feet on the ones near the floor so they couldn't see my feet if they happened to walk by the stalls. No sooner had I done that when the boys walked in looking for "the girl". I could hear them looking through the whole bathroom and talking excitedly hoping they would catch a glimpse. I was mortified. "She's not here!" said one. "Her stuff is still here. What? Did she run out naked?" said another. I clamped down tighter on the tubing above me, my hands aching, trying to hold on. Shit.

After about 30 more seconds they gave up. They never did check the stalls. Thank Gawd! They left and I stood there shaking and nervous that they would come back. After another 5 minutes of shivering I finally got out and quickly dressed and ran out to get back to my shack. I ran into my friend John and he huddled me back to my room. I didn't sleep much that night.

The next morning in the mess hall I sat down to eat with my other delegates and overheard the boys at the next table talking about the girl they almost caught in the shower last night. I looked at John who started laughing by then, and I quickly got up, put my hands next to my face and walked out of the mess hall afraid the boy would recognize me. I was never a more brighter shade of red. Next time I think I might just trek the bajillion miles to the bathroom clearly marked GIRLS.


* HEY! Make me feel better and tell me an embarrassing moment of your own.*

Links to this post |
5

Absurdities: Part Deux

Posted by Felicia on 11:07 AM
You may remember a post I did on some of the crazy things that go on in this office. We see and hear our fair share of weird things. I talked about one such man who informed us that he called the WHITE HOUSE about his stimulus check. Shaw right. Well, he's back and better than ever!

Every day he comes in our office to pilfer through our basket of candy, and each day he says as he stuffs a handful of candy in his pocket, " I'm not gonna be greedy now. Y'all are savin' mah life!" Indeed. He walks up and down our sidewalk visiting each business daily making various empty promises to each one. He's like Wimpy from Popeye. I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today! Back when I first started here he would ask me to make a couple of copies for him and while doing so I would make note of the material. There was stuff like lawsuits he was filing on behalf of the NAACP for a trillion dollars(yes, a trillion) against parties who damaged him emotionally through racial stereotypes and various other crimes against the color of his skin.

The thing is he appears to have a place to sleep at night and has access to clean clothes and showers because he always appears clean and smells good enough if you like your men cloaked in cheap after shave. He's not just some crazy homeless man. He is just some crazy regular person whose only job appears to be that of a mooch.

Even our work neighbors have been privy to his "crazy" when he asked them to mail an envelope that read: To: The President of the United States of America
George W. Bush
(White House)
Only to be opened by the commander-in-chief himself
or Condoleeza Rice- Secretary of State
***Re: Muslim Sleeper cells in Alabama- Highly sensitive information***

I shit you not! On the fucking envelope!

They made a copy. It's all kinds of nuts.

He came in last week and we were out of candy. This apparently caused some grief because he stood there looking at me as if I could just produce some out of thin air.
Him: Y'all out of candy??"
Me: It's been going fast lately.
Him: Well...hmmm... I'm going to buy some and replace it.
Me: That's ok. Don't worry about it.
Him: Hey I wanted to tell you something. I'm a write in candidate for president of the United States. *pulls out folded, faded paper with a notary mark* See here? I'm a write in candidate and I sure could use your support on election day.
Me: Wow. President huh?
Him: Yeah. But I been getting death threats through my walls and seeing as how I haven't had any secret service escorts yet I'm gonna be needing to fly to Washington D.C. to get it all straightened out.
Me: Of course. You can't be threatened like that. Your presidency would be at stake.
Him: That's right. So I'll be going there soon. But I'll bring you some candy before that.
Me: Looking forward to it.

I wish I was making this up. lol Then the following day he came in and passed out his business cards. I had to scan it and post it because no one would believe the genius of insanity that this card is made of. It makes no sense at all.

Exhibit A:





Please tell me you see what I see. A very light image of the PRESIDENTIAL SEAL. oh ahahahahahahahahahaha....omg...hahahahaha I can't breathe now.

He came in today and brought a bag of peppermints and dumped them in our candy basket. "I'm not going to be greedy now" he says as he takes a handful of the candy he just brought. He's going to make an excellent politician.

Links to this post |
3

Burger King of Hearts

Posted by Felicia on 9:04 AM
Colin: Mom? If I don't become a veterinarian I'm going to be a restaurant manager.

Me: A restaurant manager? Why's that?

Colin: Because I could make good food and I could call it Burger Kingdom.

Me: Watch out because Burger King might have a problem with that.

Colin: I could just call it Burger QUEEN. Nah, then all the girls would be all over me because I named something for them. They would be all kissy, kissy with me and wanting to hug me all the time. Well...I guess it wouldn't be that bad.

Me: Wait a minute. Hold the phone. You mean to tell me you've changed your opinion on kissing? You're ok with it now?

Colin: Yeah.

Me: What happened to kissing is gross?

Colin: Girls are cute.

Me: You know you're grounded until you're 30 right?

Colin: Yeah right! You can't stop the KING! hahahahahahahahahahaha

Me: Military school it is!

Me thinks that I am in a heap o trouble soon. lol

Links to this post |
4

Knock Knock!

Posted by Felicia on 8:39 AM
Yesterday I spent about 3 hours going door to door in 4 buildings of our condo subdivision. No, I was not selling encyclopedias. ~I have a lovely leather-bound set of knowledge for only $24.99 a month! Get them while they last!~ Instead I was gathering names, numbers, and e-mail addresses for our new neighborhood watch program that I will be heading up. How in the Hay-ell did I get sucked into this?

I started with the first building armed with my clipboard and pen and a smile. The weather was balmy and the sky looked really heavy with rain, but I was determined to start. I knocked on 4 doors until one finally opened. Barely. The woman peeked out and was immediately on the defensive. I smiled and introduced myself and launched into my little speech. She softened considerably after that and gave me her info. One down, 100 more units to go. I made it through 4 buildings before the rain came down in sheets and I had to stop for the time being. Somehow I didn't think a wet, bedraggled woman with a clipboard would be a good representative for anything but crazy. I walked home with only 12 names out of 40 units I visited. Needless to say I was feeling disappointed at my progress and as luck would have it I slipped and fell in the mud on the way back to my condo. Nicely done!
After showering I sat on the couch and thought about how I only managed to get 12 people to open their doors when a lot more than that were home, but either did not hear me knock or just decided to not open the door to a stranger. I get that. I do. I'm a single woman. I know to be careful. It just dawned on me how different things are now compared to when I was a kid.
Back when I was a kid, which was not all THAT long ago, we knew our neighbors on our block and even sometimes a few blocks over. We opened our doors to people and were not quite as leery as we are now. When did that happen? Have things changed all that much or are we just more hyper aware because of the news, the books we read, the movies we see? Are we so bad off now that we need to keep ourselves protected in a bubble so that nothing bad will happen to us? We can't get to know our neighbors because they might be weird. They might be drug users, pedophiles, murderers etc... How completely sad and closed off we are. I can't blame others; I do it too.
I spent 1 1/2 yrs next door to a woman I barely saw or talked to before she moved out. I have only seen my new neighbor twice in 5 months. I really hate that. We share a building. I should be doing my part to get to know her, not only for her safety, but for mine. I find that if we help others, they in turn are more likely to help you, and how can that be so bad?
The people that I did talk to that day told me about some stuff they had seen happen around the neighborhood, but they hadn't said anything. This is the kind of thing we all need to know. If we made more of an effort to get to know each other we would probably be more willing to tell each other out of concern. I guess this is where I come in.
It starts with one person. I'm going to get the ball rolling here and make an effort to get to know my neighbors. I want them safe. I want my neighborhood safe. I want my child safe. I'm going to keep knocking until the walls come down, because isn't that what we are really knocking against;the walls we build ourselves? I think its time we let ourselves out.

Links to this post |
2

100 things

Posted by Felicia on 7:41 PM in
1.I have never been in love. Almost, but not quite.
2.Sometimes I seriously wonder if there is something wrong with me in that department or whether I just haven't met the right one.
3.I have been rejected 3 different times in my life by my dad.
4. I think this has something to do with why I can't find the right one.
5.I have an amazing memory when it comes to song lyrics and music.
6.Just don't ask me what I had for breakfast that morning. Huh? Breakfast? I don't know!
7.I wanted to be an archaeologist when I was little.
8.I love anything to do with “excavating”.
9.My son makes me a better person every day.
10.Being his mom is hard, but worth it.
11.I would love to have another kid someday.
12.I don't know if I ever will.
13.I love cheesy movies. i.e. Xanadu, A Chorus Line, Center Stage, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.
14.I invite my friends over to watch these movies and we drink wine and eat dip.
15.One of my favorite songs is Just Like Heaven by The Cure. Everything fades away when I hear it.
16.I secretly want to be famous.
17.I am a big chicken and have bad stage fright.
18.But, I can do karaoke.
19.I usually have to have a drink before though.
20.I have a low tolerance for alcohol.
21.I have one sister.
22.We did not get along well AT ALL when we were younger.
23.After she became a mom we became closer.
24.My mom raised both of us by herself.
25.I have no idea how she did it. I think she's amazing.
26.My eyes were blue until I was 12, and then they changed to blue/green. Now they are mostly green.
27.They have orange in them.
28.I have a hard time returning library books.
29.And movies.
30.I used to pay a lot of late fees.
31.Netflix is my hero.
32.I love magazines. Any kind. Lots of varied info in a portable, condensed package. Perfect!
33.I am a bit of a geek.
34.I love the smell of coffee, but I can't get used to the taste.
35.I am obsessed with things that smell like clean laundry.
36.I own a perfume called CLEAN.
37.My favorite perfume is Romance by Ralph Lauren.
38.I am obsessed with music.
39.I wish there was a soundtrack to my life playing in the background.
40.I love bookstores and disappear for hours in them.
41.I have a lot of books. I don't have enough.
42.I make cupcakes as a hobby.
43.I procrastinate.
44.My favorite color is blue.
45.My bedroom is blue and white.
46.I don't get enough sleep.
47.I stay up late because I feel like I will miss out on something.
48.I performed at the opening ceremonies of Disneyland Paris when I turned 18.
49.I got lost on the Metro, and ended up looking for Jim Morrison's grave.
50.I wish I could travel more.
51.I would love to take a year to travel around the world.
52.I really want to go to Prince Edward Island, Canada.
53.I want to learn to play the piano.
54.And the guitar.
55.I love learning.
56.I was a preschool teacher for 11 years.
57.Sometimes I miss it, but not nearly enough to go back.
58.Fall is my favorite time of year.
59.I really love Christmas traditions.
60.I am fiercely loyal.
61.I have really great friends.
62.My favorite flowers are peonies, hydrangeas, and peachy/pink roses.
63.I can't stand the sound of liquid being poured into a glass.
64.I do love the sound of running water in a creek.
65.I am hopelessly flawed.
66.I'm o.k. with that
67.I wish I was smarter.
68.I am on the internet way too much.
69.I love to take photos.
70.I would love to make that my profession.
71.I'm generally an optimistic person.
72.I am a people pleaser.
73.I worry about dying young.
74.I have A LOT of flip flops. I still call them thongs sometimes, out of habit.
75.I always use my turn signals.
76.My pet peeve is when other drivers don't.
77.I'm not a chocolate lover, but I do like chocolate almonds.
78.I love plain vanilla ice cream.
79.I'm bad about returning calls.
80.I love the beach.
81.I lived in California for 28 years.
82.I used to go to Disneyland once or twice a week when my son was between 2 and 3.
83.I wish I were more organized.
84.See # 43
85.Sometimes I miss my friend Yvette so much it hurts to breathe.
86.She is my female soul mate.
87.I don't like slasher movies. They make me physically ill.
88.I like suspenseful movies.
89.I don't like animal movies. They make me cry too much.
90.I believe in treating people as you want to be treated.
91.I believe even mean people need to be show kindness.
92.I believe in helping people.
93.I like talking to senior citizens. They have great stories.
94.I really like cheeseburgers.
95.I need to eat more vegetables.
96.I like my eyes.
97.I don't like my cheeks.
98.I like my hair.
99.I don't like my hair.
100. I am weird. I like that.

Links to this post |
1

R.I.P. Max the Betta Fish

Posted by Felicia on 7:38 AM

It was a sad, sad morning in our household.Colin's betta Max (ok..haha..beta max, but seriously) died. He got stuck in a little decorative ceramic pot that was in his bowl. Apparently he couldn't wiggle his way out. Of course Colin was very upset. The situation ended up being ridiculous and hysterical all at the same time. I'll lay it down for ya.
I grabbed the fish bowl and set it on the counter so I could retrieve the dead fish and gather his other fish Bubbles so he wouldn't head down the drain. Immediately our cat Milo jumps onto the counter sink and starts poking his head in to see what's going on. He usually never does this so I know he is intrigued and must smell the fish. I move him out of the way and start transferring the other fish so I can clean the bowl. I turn the other way and hear Colin screaming at our OTHER cat Daisy because she had managed to jump on the counter unawares and had by then started drinking the fish water with Bubbles swimming around. I grab the cat and got her off the counter only to see that Milo has jumped back up and is now sniffing and licking the dead fish. Oh...my gawd. By this time I am laughing so hard I can't see, and Colin is equal parts crying and laughing and shouting " It's NOT funny MOM!" Oh, but it was.

We finally got the cats off of the counter and cleaned everything up, and transferred the one remaining fish to his bowl. The cats had moved into the livingroom pouting over their missed fish breakfast. Colin started planning a burial for this afternoon. I now have a little fish corpse in a baggie in my fridge to keep him "fresh" for his burial later. IN MY FRIDGE. Life doesn't get any better than this does it?
And I mean that in the best possible way.

Links to this post |
1

20 Questions

Posted by Felicia on 10:03 AM
1.Explain what ended your last relationship?

Basically, we ended up not being that compatible, but he also had a lot of previous relationship baggage that he proceeded to dump on me. There is much anger in you young Skywalker!
2.When was the last time you shaved?

That's rather personal huh? But if I must answer I say 2 days ago. And that's as far as I'm going with THAT. I do wonder though why I always seem remember a Dr's appt too late and realize I have NOT shaved and then am apologizing for said non-shaved legs?

3.What were you doing this morning at 8AM?

Not sleeping. :P I was putting on some earrings and debating whether or not to re-iron my shirt. Nah.
4. What were you doing 15 min. ago.?
Asking my boss if I could leave a half hour early. I just don't want to be at work today. Bleh

5. Some things you are excited about?
I am excited to go back to school this fall and start finishing up my degree. I am excited kids go back to school in 4 weeks. Woohoo! I am excited that it will be cooler this weekend. I'm so excited, I'm so exc..I'm so...scared! Haha-Saved By the Bell!

6. What is your favorite flavor of jell-o?
I really like lime. I don't do the red ones. Tastes too much like medicine.

7. Your prom night? What do you remember?
"Oh What A Night" He bought me a red rose wrist corsage. We rented a red Mustang convertible for the night so we wouldn't have to turn in a limo after just 3 hrs. It was sweet! We danced all night and didn't come home until noon the next day.

8. Do you have any famous ancestors?
Hmmm...on my mom's side we are related to the late Lola Beltran- a mexican ranchera singer . That's where we get our singing abilities. ;) My dad's side? No one I am aware of.

9. Last think received in the mail.
Utility bill. FUN!

10. How many beverages have you had today?
One cup of coffee. I don't like coffee. I need some water.

11.Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machines?
They still have those? Voicemail, yes, but I hate to. I sound awkward and goofy. HI! I'm a complete dork! Call me back!....spaz

12. Do you draw your name in the sand at the beach?
Once when I was 17 after seeing it in a movie. Other than that, no.

13. Any plans for Friday night?
Oh yes...yes...yes there is. Can't wait til Friday.

14. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?

YES! Lots of body! Look like porn star! Ok, ok...nothing like a porn star. More like bedhead. Ha! But it's workable!

15.Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns?
Almost every christmas. Hey! Here's a crappy can of popcorn! Merry Christmas!

16. Have you ever re-used a bath towel after you shower?Yes, I use them twice and then use a new one.

17. Describe your keychain(s).
I have a cupcake key cover over one key, a photo frame with a pic of my kid, and a Fleur de Lis purse hook.

18. Where do you keep your change?In my purse, washing machine, carpet, floor of car. They seem to appear everywhere! lol

19.When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?
As a counselor at a treatment facility for girls. Tough crowd ;)

20. When was the last time you sang out loud?
This morning whle listening to my iPod. I love to sing!

Links to this post |
4

Beauty 101

Posted by Felicia on 2:03 PM
Recently,I have had some new things happen in my life that have me reflecting on previous attitudes, ideas, and the like.
All of my life I have always struggled with the issue of beauty as told to us by popular opinion. As women we are bombarded daily with a barrage of magazines,books, and media that tell us what is beautiful. On the cover of every beauty magazine is an image of a woman almost impossible to emulate. Only if we have the right figure,the right clothes, the right shoes, the right make-up, the right hair and accessories are we deemed beautiful, or so I was led to believe from reading them. It started early too with my ventures into teen magazines. I wanted to look like those girls. They had boyfriends, and were popular. I wanted that too. I really wanted that. Oh sure, my mom always said I was pretty, but she's my mom. They have to say stuff like that. The thing is, I was never going to be or have those things that made those girls beautiful. I envied my pretty friends and their pretty things.
I was always the girl a little bit bigger than the others and therefore deemed unworthy of the beauty banner. Every magazine only made me feel worse about myself. I was only made to feel worse when my grandmother used to say things like, "You have such a pretty face, if you lost weight you would be beautiful." I know she didn't mean to hurt me, but for a girl already feeling like an ugly duckling it only made me feel worse.
I hid all of my feelings about this down inside, and did my best to be the sweet, funny girl. I had a lot of friends in high school, and was well liked. Over the years I had found some confidence in the way I looked and it paid off. I was realizing that what counted most wasn't what people saw on the outside. People who you like inevitably become more attractive to you the more you get to know them.

By the time I was an adult I became even more confident in my appearance because I made the best of what was in me, inside AND outside. I started focusing on my attributes instead of tearing myself down and living by someone else's idea of beauty. I began to OWN who I was and what I looked like, and I noticed a difference. As of today, I no longer try to put myself down or let others opinions of my looks, body or otherwise, affect how I feel about myself. When you feel beautiful, sexy , and confident in yourself eventually people will notice because confidence makes all the difference in the world.

Links to this post |

Copyright © 2009 Bread, W(h)ine & Cheez All rights reserved. Theme by Laptop Geek. | Bloggerized by FalconHive.