5

Robby Armstrong Band

Posted by Felicia on 11:11 AM
I have to put this out in the blog world. My uncle Robby Armstrong has a band aptly named the Robby Armstrong Band He is so talented and plays all over the South bay/Los Angeles area and has even played at the House of Blues. He and his lovely wife Chimene frequently have concerts to raise money for the Children Today foundation to help homeless children have food, clothing, and shelter for which Chimene is a community liason. They are definitely giving people.
SO I though I would post a video he made called Rodeo. I hope you enjoy it. Oh and if you live in or around the South bay area please go see him perform. You won't regret it. He's dynamic and fun.



*Just click on the pic to make it bigger*

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8

The Hawaii Chair.-Ridiculously funny

Posted by Felicia on 8:36 AM
I think this might be the funniest, most ridiculous thing I have seen in awhile. I laughed my ass off. lol ENJOY!


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4

Random stuff for a Monday-AKA Sooooo bored

Posted by Felicia on 11:16 AM in
1) If you were to become a TV evangelist, how would you do your hair?
HUGE. Sprayed and teased within an inch of its life. The higher the hair the higher to God.

2) Do you remember the first time you were on the internet? What did you do first?
Surfed for porn. Ok that's a lie.It surfed me. Blah..ok, ok... I made myself one of them there e-mailing accounts and had no one to send anything to. And then I got on messenger.

3) If you could pair up any two single people you know, who would you pick?
My friend Jasmin...I would find her a tall, big beefy guy with an IQ of 140 who had a penchant for cuddling, playful sarcasm and played a mean game of scrabble.
And I would pair me up with patrick Dempsey. What wife? Awww crap!


4) What was the biggest fight you have ever had with someone?
I'm a lover not a fighter. No fight. Hate to fight. Sick to stomach.

5) Do you prefer silver or gold jewelry? Silver or white gold.

6)What is the most revolting combination of colors you can imagine?
Orange, brown,& gold.

7)If you were to describe your first "real" kiss, what would you say?
Butterflies. Beach. 15. Braces. Richard Marx singing "Right Here Waiting For You" on a little radio. Soft lips. Insides all squishy.

8)What kind of cowardice do you most despise?
When people abuse those who are weaker than they are..

9)What is the best single piece of advice you ever received?
Treat people kindly and with respect.

10)What is your oldest article of clothing that you still wear?
Drill team sweats from 12th grade. Hey they feel just about right now.

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5

Balls

Posted by Felicia on 9:15 AM
My lack of blogging has been due to a semi-sick child milking it for all its worth. He is already resembling an adult male in terms of neediness and whining, and the feeling that the world is going to cave in on itself because the hot chocolate is just not the right temperature MOM! Just for good measure I spiked it with brandy to knock him out for awhile. I kid, I kid! It was Frangelico because its all I had. A joke! A joke! Anyway, he is better and will DEFINITELY be going back to school tomorrow. *Just added this hilarious video that fits so well here. Courtesy of Rachel



Speaking of needy males,the other day when I got a call from the school to pick up the sick boy my ex-b/f decides to show up out of the blue at my OFFICE just as I was packing up my stuff to leave to go get him. He nervously explained to my boss that he was a friend of mine and that he was here to see me. Then he repeated it again. Wierd much? I asked him what he was doing here and he went on to ask me if I would run his driving record to make sure he had no tickets because he needed to get his Alabama state driver's license. He's got balls. Not big ones~literally~(overshare...lol) The whole "I don't think we can be friend's anymore" thing and he wants a favor?? Damn.
So I'm running his driving record and seething. I'm so passive-agressive. I hate that about me.

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9

It's rude. Yo.

Posted by Felicia on 8:28 AM
What's that saying,If the music's too loud you're too old? What if it's just the bass? Like bass that could probably restart your heart because you can feel it pressing against your chest. Yeah...that loud.
The other night we were sitting on the couch and I started to feel this weird vibrating in my chest and then thumping. I didn't think too much of it at the time and just ignored it. 9:00 rolls around and I put the boy to bed and his entire room is vibrating and thumping to the sounds of rap music with the bass apparently on +10 level. He started complaining about how he didn't like that feeling and he wouldn't be able to sleep. INDEED. So I did the mature thing. I banged on the wall. That'll let her know. Dummy..it's bass. The neigbor will probably just think it is part of the song. I tell the boy to try his best to ignore it because its after 9pm. How much longer could it last. Let me tell you. A long ass time. What the hell? I threw on my jacket and slippers and closed the door while listening to my son whining about how he couldn't sleep with that noise. I mosey over to the neighbor's house and knock on the door. All I hear is the bass coming through her front door. I knock again and I hear the words. "Oh it's that white girl from next door." Excuse me? The door opens and 2 women are standing there staring at me. I calmly tell them that the bass is so loud my son can't sleep and it's after 9pm and could they please turn it down. Thanks! They just stare at me before one of them rolls their head and eyes and says, "It ain't that loud." Oh really? You could defibrillate someone with that shit. And could we lose the attitude because you're the one in the wrong. "Could you please just turn it down?" I walk away and can feel them staring at me.
Hey, I like some rap. I'm down with different genres of music. I can "drop it like it's hot", but unless I'm at a club I don't want to be boom boxing in my condo at 9pm on a weeknight thank you very much. I'm sure they would be just as offended if I blared XANADU(Whatup Rachel!) over and over again until their ears bled.
The bass did not go off until after 10pm and by that time I had already had to haul the boy into my room to sleep because they were bound and determined to do whatever the hell they wanted. Ok. I can play it. I've been nice. Next time I go civil code on their asses and break out my legal speak. Yeah, that's right. Hello Occifer. Don't want nothin started, don't be startin nothin. Yo.

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6

The first three letters in diet are DIE

Posted by Felicia on 8:53 AM
So I'm on day four of my new eating plan and I am feeling less like a raging byotch and more like myself since I gave up all non-vegetable carbs and sugar for what right now feels like eternity. I was experiencing the normal carb-restricted side-effects like headaches. My body essentially was like, Felicia!? What the hell woman? No bread? Are you friggin kidding me? Oh ok, if that's how you wanna play it...fine! Oh remember how you haven't been getting headaches lately? Yeah? Gone! And just see the shit we throw at you when (not if lady)you get sick. Be prepared! GIVE US CARBS DAMMIT!!!!! To which I retaliated by taking lots of Tylenol and telling my body to shut the hell up because we will be happier skinnier. And then I burped.

Basically my eating plan is a variation of Atkins but without all the saturated fats. So to me its healthier and you lose faster because your body is not processing all of that extra fat. When I was on it the first time I lost on average about 5 lbs a week, but I went on vacation and blew it and everything snowballed from there, but this time I want to stay on it. I have no vacations planned for a long time so I have no excuses.
The ultimate reason I picked this is because I have ZERO patience. I cannot be bothered to weigh and measure to count as many things as calories, fat, carbs, vitamins, etc... I have tried and I lose interest so fast its unbelievable. It would take nothing less than an act of God to change it. I need results and I need them fast to feel motivated to continue. That's just me. This eating plan(I refuse to say DIEt)gives me fast results as opposed to some others I have tried, and believe me when I say I have tried them all. This one is easy and it works...as long as I stick with it. I just have to make it through the first few days;those are the toughest. I want a piece of bread like a , well...like a fat woman wants a piece of bread. LOL Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Anyone else going through or have recently gone through similar circumstances? What helps you?

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10

Innocence found

Posted by Felicia on 8:57 AM
I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who "delurked" even if you weren't a lurker, and I also want to thank everyone who reads my humble little blog even if you did not delurk. I appreciate each and every one of you who stumble across me and decide to stick around and see what trouble I get myself into next. HAHA! I thoroughly enjoy doing this more than I had originally thought. So thank you from the bottom of my blog and my heart.

In other news....

A conversation my son and I had last night which will completely support my child rearing techniques of keeping my son as innocent as I can in this less than innocent world.

"Mom. You know that song I like big butts and I cannot lie?"

"Yes I do. Why?"

"I like that song. It's funny." *sings-I like big butts and I cannot lie...you other brothers can't deny* "I heard it on Shrek"

"Yeah it's pretty funny." I sing-* when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get* "well I won't say that last part."

"Why not? Is it sprung?"

"Yes." Oh Lord the child doesn't need to know this I think to myself.

He laughs hysterically. "Sprung!!"

"Do you know what that means?" I say cringing at the thought of him understanding the meaning of that word in the context of that song.

He covers his mouth giggling "Yes. It means the guy gets hit in the face with her big butt when she turns around." "Right?" he says laughing hysterically again "Like Aunt Phanny in Robots!"

"Yep, that's exactly it.You're right!"

"I knew it!" he says walking away singing the song to himself.

God Bless that goofy kid's innocence!

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8

I feel just like a criminal

Posted by Felicia on 7:31 AM
What I need is a good defense
cause Im feelin like a criminal.
-Fiona Apple

Will the embarrassment never end? Am I forever doomed to create humiliating moments in my life of my own volition??
I committed a criminal act last night. I am not proud. I shall explain.

I was on my way home from work last night and I noticed that my car was running on fumes because I am a procrastinator of the highest order. I pull into a station I have never been to before and as I do so I get a phone call. I answer it and start talking while I pull out my credit card and get out of the car. I swipe my card and continue talking as I open the gas tank. The machine starts beeping at me and I vaguely register that the thing says PAY AFTER FUELING. Whatever. I pump the gas and keep talking and when I'm done I close everything up and jump in my car and leave. I am almost home but I feel like something is not right when I suddenly realize- I swiped my card but it said PAY AFTER FUELING. HOLY SHIT I FORGOT TO PAY FOR THE GAS! I turn the car around to head back to the store swearing under my breath about the pump and pay places and how they should seriously stop that while beginning to sweat bullets and look over my shoulder for the cops that have an APB out for my arrest because OMG I just DROVE OFF WITHOUT PAYING FOR GAS.
I get to the gas station and walk in and start babbling a mile a minute about how-I think I drove off without paying and I'm so sorry but I swiped my card and I was talking at the same time and I just totally blanked and I'm so sorry and please don't arrest me it was an innocent mistake and please remove any APB's for my arrest if you have done that and please don't be mad....I'm sooooooooo sorry and thoroughly embarrassed. The guy said "Were you in a red Toyota?" I say, "Honda, and yes that was me, but I'm here to pay because I'm not a criminal! He was cool about it and took my credit card, thanked me for coming back because as he put it "No one usually comes back." I apologized again and vowed never to talk and pump gas at the same time and to never show my face at that gas station again.
I am such a dweeb. I am not a criminal,intentionally anyway. Besides, I don't look good in orange.

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4

Spreading His Wings

Posted by Felicia on 7:46 AM
My boy is 9 1/2. The age where you try anything and everything to gain autonomy, to prove to everyone that you are capable of spreading your own wings and taking off. I liken him to a baby bird at this point. I'm not pushing him out to fly so much as he is trying to leap and ends up landing on his ass when he sees he's not quite ready to do EVERYTHING on his own. He will still need me for quite some time, but that doesn't stop him from trying to forge ahead.
See him forging ahead here? Hey! Where are you going? Are you just going to leave me here Speed Racer?


Look at that! So far ahead you can barely see him. I just know he is so excited to get ahead of me. Don't go too far! Hey! Can you hear me? Hello?


Oh wait! He's coming back. I knew he wouldn't go TOO far. Not yet anyway.


Hey babe!


Yes I saw you! You went really far and really fast.


My boy may be spreading his wings more and more but he always comes back. It's hard to let him do it too for fear that he will get hurt, but I rest in the knowledge that he still needs me, and I will cherish every single moment until he's out of my nest.

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4

Expose yourselves!

Posted by Felicia on 9:22 AM

Hey all! Apparently it is Delurking day, and since I have never done this before I thought I would jump on the bandwagon because I figured this bandwagon wouldn't lead me down into the pit of despair or the bog of eternal stench!( I heart you Labyrinth!) Unless...unless...no one delurks because THEN there would be despairage and weeping and crocodile tears and no one wants to see that. Kidding aside it would be nice to see who reads this blog so please say hi, leave a comment, a piece of advice, a kind word, a little piece of you per say. Thank you! Have fun exposing yourselves! Hey you in the back...put some pants on. Geesh.

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3

Felicia-Unplugged

Posted by Felicia on 12:29 PM
I had a revelation! No it has nothing to do with Britney Spears. But damn that girl needs medical help. Ok, where was I? Right! A revelation. Last night a miracle occurred; not the one where I win the lottery despite never buying a ticket, but just as mind boggling. I kept the TV off last night. *gasp* OFF you guys! That's major, and before you start thinking I'm a couch potato I will explain.
The tv is on every night after 7pm whether I sit down and watch it or not either due to my son watching a program before bed or for the background noise. Of course it never just stays background noise because inevitably you hear or see something that catches your attention and before you know it you've watched a 3 hour marathon of I Love Lucy! That was just *ahem* an example to illustrate my point because come on....who watches a marathon of Lucy. *Shut up she's awesome* Anyway, the tv does not come on before 7pm (house rule)and last night I started doing some things around the house and the boy was finishing up homework, and before I knew it it was 9pm and I had gotten a TON of things done. I was on fire. Load of laundry? check! Sew a hole in a sweater? check! Dishes? check! Put away all Christmas related decorations? check! Vacuum? check! check! because I did it twice...damn what the hell was all over my floor? Move furniture back to original position? check! So yeah! Go me! I was amazed at how much I accomplished when the TV stayed off. I will be trying that again. In fact, I will be UNPLUGGING for at least 2 hours a night where I do not answer phones, watch TV, play on the computer, or text anyone. I vow to be calmer and more productive. I vow to give my undivided attention to my son a little bit every night. I vow to not watch I Love Lucy marathons for 3 hours straight. *Shut up, she's hilarious! That redhead cracks me up*

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3

Thy Moniker Is Thy Destiny!

Posted by Felicia on 1:14 PM
I recently read an article about some scientists who have been studying how a person's first name initial affects the decisions they make in life. As an example they theorize that a James is more likely to marry a Jane and move to Jasper and visit Japan or a Mary is more likely to marry a Michael and live in Minnesota and buy a Mercedes.In one study they researched 90 years of baseball and discovered that professional baseball players whose names began with "k" -the symbol for a strikeout- were more prone to strike out than other players. Another study found that kids with names that start with A or B may get better grades than names that begin with C or D. Their findings were recently published in Psychological Science
I began thinking about my life decisions to see if that were the case with me.

1. My name begins with F
2.I never lived in a town that started with an F, however one of my favorite places to visit is Franklin, Tennessee and I DID vacation in Florida this past year.
3.I do not like FORD cars and trucks. But my first car WAS a FORD Mustang.(inherited from my Great-grandfather)
4. My ex-husband's middle name is Franklin
5. My son was FOUR when I made the decision to move out of California
6. This is getting spooky.
7. I have been to France
8. My heritage is French(and some other things, but naming this for purpose)
9. I love french fries.
10. I did not get F's in school though, so that theory is shot.
11. I broke my ankle when I was fourteen.

I need to dig some more, but so far this has been kind of weird. Try your names and think back to your history of events and decisions in your life and see what you discover.

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5

Eat, drink, woman, woman

Posted by Felicia on 1:17 PM in
I have been trying to get out with friends more lately so as not to fit the rumors being circulated about me being a hermit, and children whispering about the crazy lady who shoos kids off of her porch and throws raisins at them when their backs are turned. Ok. That's not true. I throw rocks. I kid! I kid! But the truth is I decided I needed to be more than just mom 24/7 and so I have been making playdates(hehehe) with MY friends so I can keep my sanity intact.
This found me with plans to hang out with my fabulous friend Rachel who ALWAYS makes me laugh and is a pleasure seeker like me. We made plans to go to the newest hot spot here in Huntsville which is Monaco Pictures. The theater is in a word AWESOME! It is sleek and modern. It boasts comfortable seating in the main theaters, and luxury leather seating in the 21 & over VIP section upstairs. It has a small restaurant called Scene that serves the yummiest appetizers and drinks. We shared Calamari, Thai BBQ Shrimp dumplings, Hummus, and Sweet Potato fries while drinking mojitos followed by some excellent Belgian Draft beer.It sounds like a lot but they are small appetizer sizes so we we able to try more. Most excellent. You can eat there or take it upstairs to the VIP section and eat it in the theater if you purchased a VIP ticket. At $12 for a VIP ticket it is worth the money. The VIP section also has a wine tasting area as well as a full bar. It is supremo. We laughed, we guffawed, we ate and drank heartily.
After our culinary adventures we headed to our theater to see Juno. If you have not yet seen this gem of a movie please go now. No, NOW. It was fantastic! The movie was quirky, bittersweet, funny, and unique. The title character is going to be a star. And I know this guy is jailbait, but Micheal Cera(Superbad)is too cute not to love. I love the geeks.
From what I hear this is the first Monaco Pictures. They picked our town to see how well it does. From what I saw and experienced here they have a bright future ahead of them. This is one place I will be headed to more often; because momma needs some fun. Oh yeah...note to self * get raisins*.

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5

New 2008! Now with less sugar!

Posted by Felicia on 1:42 PM
The holidays have come and gone, and I finally get to relax and contemplate mysteries of the universe like why my deodorant is not working anymore, and why I suddenly keep finding stray socks peeking out from under various pieces of furniture. And no I will not pick them up. They stay as they lay! It's all about the important stuff here at Casa la Bread, W(h)ine & Cheez!
We spent Dec. 30 having an authentic German meal at the home of authentic German people here on a work permit until 2009.(My friends' neighbors) They rock in all of their German-esqueness. We took off our shoes at the door and had a kick-ass meal called Schweinhaxen and Klobel- which translates to Pork knuckles and potato dumplings. I'm glad I didn't ask what it was before I ate it because I may have feigned a mysterious illness and gone home, but you know what? It was GOOD! I loved it, and I do not like pork. Okay, so the dumplings were a weird spongy texture, but they were tasty.
The hosts were funny, and gracious and told stories of when they spent a year in Shanghai, and brought out photo albums of their families in Germany. How gratified I was to see that German children were very fond of the Dorothy Hamill haircut as well. The grandmother didn't speak a lick of English and so of course I felt the need to be retarded and speak LOUDLY in english because that helps break down the language barrier better. Smart huh? She kept making her son fill my wine glass when it got low. I knew I liked her from the start.
They sent us home with authentic german chocolate for the kids and a fascination for trying new things. All in all a very excellent way to end 2007.
New Year's Eve was spent at our friend's house watching Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin Eve. (Sadly,it might finally be his last year to rock in the new years. DC was looking rough.) Anyhoo, we stayed up late and then broke out balloons and proceeded to make balloon animals for the kids until 12:45. I suck at balloon animals so there goes my chance for bookings at parties. *note to self- Cross off resolution #26.* We all fell into bed around 1:45 and got up late. I made my famous waffles, and we lay comatose until 2:00pm where upon our very hungry selves cleaned up enough to go out to eat at Buffalo Wild Wings. Who is amazing at trivia? I am!! I rocked 3000 points in 15 min.
After eating our weight in onion rings we walked around the mall and found some great bargains. When we left the temperature was down to 34 frickin cold degrees! We finally arrived home and I got to do laundry! Such a fabulously fun way to end my New Year's Day. Negatory.
Now normally I don't make resolutions because I break the suckers in a week or less, but I decided to give it another chance. So here they are.
1. Lose weight in '08. I'm soooo original. (must eat less sugar.i.e. CARBS)
2. Get organized by spending 15 minutes a day organizing. Small changes lead to big ones.
3. Give my son my undivided attention, and do something fun with him every single day.
4. Keep in touch with my family better.
5. Expand my picture taking and learn something about photography this year.

So there you have it. We will shall see how long they last. Happy New Year everyone! I hope the year brings you happiness, and great riches. And if it should...could I borrow a few hundred?

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