4

Random conversations

Posted by Felicia on 11:20 AM
These are recent conversations I've had that have stuck in my mind because they still make me laugh.

*At the office*

Joe(my boss): I'm sorry if I've been awful today. Don't quit on me.
Me: You haven't been awful and I'm not quitting.
Joe: Would you tell me if I'm being awful?
Me: Yep!
Joe: (laughs) I'm glad I hired you.
Me: I know.


*Home-my son's bedtime*

The boy: You know Mom? You're beautiful and I still think you're young.
Me: Thank you sweetie.
The boy: 30 is the new 20!
Me: What do you want and how much is it going to cost me?

* A call on the way home*
Kevin(a friend): Whatcha doin?
Me: Drivin home. You?
Kevin: Not much. You busy tonight?
Me: No. Why?
Kevin: I wanted to know if I could come over and inspect your crotchal region.
Me: Are you referring to oral sex in a not so sexy way?
Kevin:(laughs) Yeah! And you could inspect my panoose.
Me: Kevin, no one will ever have sex with you if you keep calling it that.

*In the car*

The boy: Mom, Did you want a boy?
Me: I sure did! I prayed to have a little boy and here you are.
The boy: Were you excited?
Me: Yep...until they told me you had cooties, being a boy and all, and they said they would have to decootify you before I could take you home.
The boy: Mooooommmm...
Me: No really! It was a process. They had to bathe you and scrub you with some decootifying soap and then they smeared stuff on you to release the cootie toxins and then said some Hail Marys and told me to chant over you at every diaper change. However, it does require maintenance and you might still have some even now because cooties just tend to stay with boys. They are hard to get rid of. Ask the girls in your class.
The boy: Mom, you're weird.
Me: It's hereditary and you're welcome.

|

4 Comments


Those were all AWESOME!!!


Hahahaha! I love your "conversation" posts. You are real, like I am. I would totally talk to my boss like a real person.


From that first conversation with the boy, it seems as though he'll be quite the ladies man!!

And ew! To the convo about the crotch region. Gah. What do you SAY to that?! Geez.


Panoose, huh? I think you were right on with your response!

Copyright © 2009 Bread, W(h)ine & Cheez All rights reserved. Theme by Laptop Geek. | Bloggerized by FalconHive.