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Waste Not-WANT NOT!

Posted by Felicia on 11:01 AM
My grandma just bought a house here and moved from California after living there practically her entire life. She lived in Redondo Beach for the past 40 years in an 1160 sq. foot house. You can't really have much stuff in a house that size. Or can you?
When the moving vans came one Saturday a couple of weeks ago, they spent the next hour bringing in box after box after box. We watched the house and garage slowly fill up as there seemed to be no end to the amount of stuff being delivered. Boxes everywhere were stacked up 5 ft or higher, and one by one over the course of the day each of the 6 movers took the chance to inform my grandmother of the very obvious understatement, "Gee lady, you have A LOT of stuff." Indeed.
We were literally inundated with stuff that hadn't seen the light of day in well over 20 years. All we could do was tell them to stack them up wherever they could as each room delineated for certain items eventually filled up and had us telling them "find a spot and set it down."


When the last box was in, the head mover came in to finalize the payment. On the contract it stated that their quote had been a firm one. She was to pay X amount of dollars for their services. The mover then stated that she was one lucky woman to have a firm quote because she was 4,000lbs over what they estimated. Ouch. That would have been another $2500.
The reason she had an extra 4000lbs in gross moving weight on the truck is because my grandmother NEVER THROWS SHIT OUT!. People, I wish I were kidding. When I started opening boxes I found spices from the 1950s, crackers that hadn't seen the light of day since 1987, Dinty Moore Beef Stew with a date stamp that read 03/08/85, oh and get this, an almost 30 yr. old unopened can of vegetable shortening. I promptly began throwing stuff out.

Grandma: What are you doing?
Me: Throwing this stuff out. It's OLD.
Grandma: It's in a can, dear.
Me: Grandma, It's 23 yrs old. If you haven't eaten it by now, you probably won't.
Grandma: Why are you throwing the shortening away?!?
Me: Grandma! It's almost 30 YEARS OLD! Shortening goes bad after 6-8 months. You CANNOT USE IT. It says 1979 on the copyright!!!
Grandma: It's unopened, and I KNOW that I just bought that about a year ago.
Me: Grandma, NOBODY sells food stuff that old except bad gas station mini-marts.
Grandma: Put it in the fridge. It's still good.
Me: I'm not coming over for tacos anytime soon.
Grandma: Kids your age are SOOOO wasteful.
Me: Como say huh?


*I managed to smuggle the shortening into the trash and replaced it with a NEW can of Crisco. Taco night is ON! If she invites me over for Beef Stew though, I'm bolting!

Here is the offending item




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9 Comments


hahahahah! my grandmother was like that too! my mom is kind of like that but after seeing how bad my grandmother got, she pulled back and threw everything out...except...one night i was visiting her and making dinner, i needed some mustard powder so i go in the cabinet and get some out and notice the can seems exactly like the one i remember from my childhood. turns out, it WAS the one from my childhood. the date on the back was actually from the year of my birth. and i am old. very, very old.


I understand your grandmother - I really do! I'll probably BE her eventually. I'm a major pack rat, and it's only with sure determination and will that I managed to clean out my pantry recently - and throw out spices well over 10 years old.

One day I'll tackle the room over the garage - holy shit and we just moved here 2 1/2 years ago. Oh, yeah, right, we were 8000 pounds over, and DID have to pay - Uncle Sam since the military moved us. I just finally stopped having money taken out of my retirement to pay back that bill.


Oh my. I'm not sure I would call it wasteful...more like health conscious. LOL - your grandma is a hoot!


Love your top logo thing!


Holy cow. That's such a great story. Maybe you could submit some of that stuff to a museum! Ha!


Now Felicia, she might be saving some of her stuff to bake a cake with Jesus!!!! haha. Cool vintage can, you gotta give her that!


hi, came by way of Nat. I love that your grandma still calls you "kids". Now I know that vintage is really in, but I'm doubting the trend covers food as well. I love the pic!


Clutter is an awful habit...for which I am still kinda guilty. It's an American thing - own, own, own!


What a funny story- it reminds me so much of my husband's grandparents. One of his grandmas once sent us a box for Christmas that included one half of a summer sausage with a plastic bag slipped loosely over the open end. There were some cookies in the box too, but she sent the package to our old address and it took like three weeks for the box to arrive, so you could have broken a tooth on them.

His other grandma is such a pack rat that she has two whole houses full of junk. Hers, and the one next to it that used to be her mother's house. You can barely walk through either of them because they are piled high with crap she has collected over many years.

Your grandma sounds like a real character!

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