Posted by Felicia on 1:02 PM
Turkey for me
Turkey for you
Let's eat the turkey
In my big brown shoe
Love to eat the turkey
At the table
I once saw a movie
With Betty Grable
Eat that turkey
All night long
Fifty million Elvis fans
Can't be wrong
Turkey lurkey doo and
Turkey lurkey dap
I eat that turkey
Then I take a nap
-Adam Sandler-The Thanksgiving Song
I'd like to change the last line to " Turkey lurkey doo and turkey lurley lick. I eat that turkey then I get real sick." Oh cuz I so did.
Thanksgiving 2008 will go down in my history as a bonafide suckfest. Oh we had all the trimmings and everything seemed great, but trouble was afoot.
Since this was my grandmother's first Thanksgiving in Alabama in her new home we were all excited to head over there and spend the holiday weekend reminiscing on past holidays, mourn and fondly remember our family member who died 2 weeks ago, and enjoy some good family cooking.
I was in charge of the green bean casserole,sweet potato casserole, cranberry mandarin orange sauce, and the rolls. I got ambitious too. I made the rolls from SCRATCH. With YEAST. Oh yeah...go me! I was rockin' the home cookin y'all! By 2pm we headed over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house. Ok...so there's no river, but there IS a creek and technically some woods. We arrived to a very sick grandmother who was not feeling the spirit of Thanksgiving. No, she was feeling the spirit of Nyquil. God Bless. So my mom and I prepared most of the rest of the stuff while she took a little pre-turkey nap. The turkey was already cooking and the pies were baked, meringueless lemon and pumpkin. My mouth was watering.
An hour before it was time to eat my grandmother gets up and gimps into the kitchen and proceeds to unleash a torrent of grumpiness on us. FUN! She got upset because the stuffing she made was too wet and my mom tried to help her. It became what I like to refer to as a "savory bread pudding". Um...pass, but you must not offend so you say, "Yum grandma! Looks good!"She also proceeded to get onto Colin about god knows what...maybe being a kid.
By the time we sat down I had already had a bloody mary, 2 glasses of wine and coffee with Bailey's. Escape much this holiday? haha. I ate with total abandon even though I wasn't really hungry. Big mistake. I felt like the turkey. Stuffed and cooked. I was officially done with Thanksgiving. An hour later I couldn't take anymore and said my goodbyes as the evening was only getting worse. I left with promises of returning the next evening for leftovers.
The next day I woke up not feeling well, but pushed it aside and went to work. I wasn't really hungry and didn't eat all day. By the time we got to my grandmother's house it was after 5pm. She was feeling much better. I was not. We finally ate around 7pm and ended up looking over old family photos that had been "lost" for 14 years. Around 9 I started to feel like I was breaking out in a cold sweat and things quickly went down hill. I said goodbye and practically ran out the door and raced home. I spent the next 7 hrs becoming very intimate with the porcelain god. *I love you...call me.* I didn't get to sleep until 5am. And the next 2 days were a blur.
I feel better now if somewhat weak. My grandmother called to see if I wanted to come over for leftovers again. Again...pass. I have no craving whatsoever for turkey or anything that goes with it. Although bonus...nothing like a stomach virus to kick start a diet.
One of the big plus sides was that Rick entertained me throughout and made me feel heaps better...and still managed to find me attractive despite my pale, sickly appearance. You have to love a man who can do that.
I hope you all had a wonderful and much better Thanksgiving than I did.