I ain't missin' you at all....

Posted by Felicia on 12:57 PM
I've turned into Houdini. I can disappear. Just propose to me. Haha.
I hate that I've neglected this blog, but I needed some much needed time to just take it easy after the whirlwind of experiences I've gone through lately. It's been an absolute thrill ride; exciting,adrenaline fueled, and scary at times leaving me absolutely breathless. I've loved every minute.

Along with all of that, I said goodbye to my son for the summer and have been mourning his absence all summer. It's pathetic really. I stare at his picture, walk into his messy bedroom and sigh, sit by the phone waiting for him to call me and tell me he misses me and can't live without me and likes me better than his dad. Ok, well I know that's not realistic, but a mom can dream. Life is just not the same without that little booger. I even miss him whining.

It's funny, when he was little I loved him because he was all mine, and he needed me. We tend to become attached to whom we take care of forming an unbreakable bond. Now that he's older that love has changed a little bit. It has become based more on the person he is. He is less mine and more his own person. I love him not just because he is my child, but because he's an awesome person. He is so thoughtful and loving, compassionate and sweet. He is kind and has a wicked sense of humor. I really enjoy his company. I look forward to getting home and spending time with him at the end of the day and his absence in the house is palpable.

It is because I feel this that I am all the more aware of the sacrifice his dad makes in not being the custodial parent. If I feel like this for 8 weeks I can only imagine what his dad goes through for the other 44. He needs his dad and I will never get in the way of that. This time is exactly what he needs.

So now I'm counting down the days until Saturday when he flies home. Absence truly does make the heart grow fonder... until you step on the first of many legos, that he left on the floor after you told him to clean them up right before bed, right as you wake up and you're cursing under your breath and limping towards the vacuum so you can suck up every last plastic piece and muttering the whole time how he never listens and you're going to throw every last damn lego he has in the trash if he doesn't keep them picked up. Yep....missin him like crazy.

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