Bread, W(h)ine & Cheez

So Happy Together

2010-01-06T12:03:00.000-08:00

Helloooooo.....Helloooooo????? Anyone there? I wouldn't blame ya for disappearing seeing as how I update oh, every hundred years or so. So sorry to disappear like that. I've just been dealing with all the numerous changes around here. I'll bring everyone up to speed.

So, let's see. I'm officially married! I married Rick on 10/10/2009 in what was perhaps the funnest wedding of all time! It seriously rocked my face off and was everything I could have ever wanted it to be. There were no marble columns, no hanging flower arrangements nor bands, djs or such, no dance floor either, but what we had was good food, great friends and family, and great fun!
We got married in a gazebo in downtown Madison surrounded by half of Australia and half of California and Alabama. It was very intimate and lovely, and funny. Let's just say my new husband's vows to me included the phrase "j*** in my pants". How could I NOT have married him? Haha Afterwards we walked across the railroad tracks and had dinner at the lovely restaurant called Main Street Cafe. We wined, and dined, and laughed until we hurt. I am quite literally the luckiest girl to have the amazing people in my life that I do.

We honeymooned in New York. What an amazing city. We were there 5 days, but it wasn't nearly enough to see what we wanted to see and do what we wanted to do. However, we did get to go to the America concert which was significant to us because it was the first concert we both had ever seen. He at 17 in 1988 and me at 15 in 1989 in two different countries. What were the odds and then that they should be in New York when we planned our spur of the moment NYC trip??? Fate. Pure fate.

After we got back Rick flew back to Australia and Colin and I got a serious case of the sads. I set about trying to pack up my condo and get the massive amount of paperwork required for me to migrate to Australia. What I have amassed looks like a 2,000 page manual entitled " Please let me stay in your country- FOREVAH!!" That sucker cost $50 to ship. Holy bejeezus.

Colin left for California before Christmas to spend the holidays with his dad. it was a sad holiday for me as it was my last here for a long time, but I was only able to make it through by being semi-comatose on the couch on painkillers which turned out to be a mild case of temporary elephant man syndrome. Ugh. Talk about disfigured. I ended up in the ER the day after and am just now starting to resemble a human again, and small children have stopped screaming when I enter the room. Small things people. lol
I am flying out to California tomorrow to spend 2 weeks visiting family and friends before we hop the plane to OZ on the 20th. I am simultaneously sad, happy, excited, and nervous. This is definitely the adventure of my life, and I have yet to have sorted it all out. I am living in the moment and taking it day by day, and hoping that the chipping away of my sanity is only temporary.

I just want to take a moment to thank my friends and family, and even acquaintances who have offered me nothing but love, and understanding, and support throughout this whole thing. I am truly blessed to have you in my life, and I could not have managed half of this without you. They say no man is poor who has friends. In that respect, I'm friggin Bill Gates. I love you all!

Shit, now you've made me cry. Jerks.

As American As Cornbread

2009-09-12T12:31:00.000-07:00

I was sitting at work Friday thinking about my future life in Australia and taking stock of all the things I have taken advantage of my whole life in America. I love this country. I really, really do. Especially when I see how other countries live and realize just how lucky we are to live here. While Australia is a wonderful country with many American things to make me feel somewhat at home, I have to remind myself that it is NOT America and never will be.

So as I was thinking about my new life, and dreaming of what I want to do there, I was thinking of a new cupcake flavor. My cupcake business dream is still alive and well. I got an idea for a new cupcake flavor that embodies some of my americanness. As a transplanted Southern California girl living in Alabama I have developed my Deep South tastebuds, and what could be more southern than cornbread? Over in Cali we eat a sweet cornbread(Marie Callendar's-holler!) as opposed to the more traditional unsweetened cornbread. I thought, why not make a cornbread cupcake and make a honey butter Italian buttercream? So I did. Cornbread with honey butter is delicious. In a cupcake it's divine! I then gilded the lily by putting a piece of candied bacon on it. Yes, you can swoon. It was a marriage of bliss in my mouth.

May I present, Cornbread cupcakes covered in Honey Butter Italian buttercream with a piece of candied bacon on top.

It is a yellow cake base mixed with cornbread mix. It makes for a lightly sweetened corn cake. The honey butter italian buttercream has just enough honey flavor to compliment the butter and corn flavors.

I might have a hard time finding cornbread mix in my local aussie grocery store so I will have to either have to come to terms with that or have it shipped in by faithful friends and family. For now I will eat my cornbread cupcakes and quietly hum the national anthem. God Bless the U.S.A.!

The comedian

2009-08-31T21:12:00.000-07:00

I think I need a new blog called "Stuff My Kid Says". He's freakin hilarious. It's such a cool thing when they finally get humor and start using it. At age 11 he is understanding it very well. It's surprising and fun. Sometimes I shake my head wondering where he picked it all up, but picked it up indeed and put it all together! Here's just a few of his latest gems.

*Running late,I was drinking a slimfast shake really fast in the car before we headed into the doctor's office.*
"Geez Mom. I can practically hear a group of guys behind you going CHUG,CHUG,CHUG!"

* I had some movies out to bring over to a friend's house. He picked up Pineapple Express and looked at the cover.*
"Mom, why do you watch this stuff? I mean, it's not very ladylike. And that's a lot coming from me."

* Coming in from playing outside*
"I could use a cold one. Pass me a fruit punch Bar-mom."

* Getting ready for school he walked out of the bathroom with a faux-hawk. I looked at him and said cool.*
" Yeah, the chicks will dig it."

After saying something funny like this he always says,"I crack me up."
I love this kid!!

I ain't missin' you at all....

2009-07-29T12:57:00.000-07:00

I've turned into Houdini. I can disappear. Just propose to me. Haha.
I hate that I've neglected this blog, but I needed some much needed time to just take it easy after the whirlwind of experiences I've gone through lately. It's been an absolute thrill ride; exciting,adrenaline fueled, and scary at times leaving me absolutely breathless. I've loved every minute.

Along with all of that, I said goodbye to my son for the summer and have been mourning his absence all summer. It's pathetic really. I stare at his picture, walk into his messy bedroom and sigh, sit by the phone waiting for him to call me and tell me he misses me and can't live without me and likes me better than his dad. Ok, well I know that's not realistic, but a mom can dream. Life is just not the same without that little booger. I even miss him whining.

It's funny, when he was little I loved him because he was all mine, and he needed me. We tend to become attached to whom we take care of forming an unbreakable bond. Now that he's older that love has changed a little bit. It has become based more on the person he is. He is less mine and more his own person. I love him not just because he is my child, but because he's an awesome person. He is so thoughtful and loving, compassionate and sweet. He is kind and has a wicked sense of humor. I really enjoy his company. I look forward to getting home and spending time with him at the end of the day and his absence in the house is palpable.

It is because I feel this that I am all the more aware of the sacrifice his dad makes in not being the custodial parent. If I feel like this for 8 weeks I can only imagine what his dad goes through for the other 44. He needs his dad and I will never get in the way of that. This time is exactly what he needs.

So now I'm counting down the days until Saturday when he flies home. Absence truly does make the heart grow fonder... until you step on the first of many legos, that he left on the floor after you told him to clean them up right before bed, right as you wake up and you're cursing under your breath and limping towards the vacuum so you can suck up every last plastic piece and muttering the whole time how he never listens and you're going to throw every last damn lego he has in the trash if he doesn't keep them picked up. Yep....missin him like crazy.

I never much cared for pork...

2009-04-28T12:30:00.001-07:00

3 weeks and 2 days to go until Rick arrives here in the U.S. That is, if Australia doesn't institute their Fortress Australia pandemic countermeasures in the face of the recent outbreak of swine flu. That could mean that flights in or out of Australia are halted and things more or less shut down. Even if he does manage to make it out here, the chance is real that he might not be let back in right away if they institute those measures after he gets here. For right now though Australia hasn't had any confirmed cases of the swine flu, but they are seeking 22 Aussies who shared the same flight with the 3 New Zealanders who tested positive for it.

Australia has an amazingly thorough quarantine system because they must maintain a delicate balance in their country. Hopefully with that and their adequate vaccine supply the problem will not be bad enough to invoke such extreme measures. Here's hoping...

I'm engaged!

2009-04-10T12:01:00.000-07:00

Yes! Yes! Yes!
I am so excited!.
He proposed April 4th.

After a wonderful 10 days in Australia I was awakened at the ass-crack of dawn on the last Saturday before I left. His eagerness to have me see an "Australian sunrise" got me out of bed despite heavily protesting how very tired I was. We arrived at The Shallows in Shellharbour and walked down when it got a bit light. He set out chairs in the wet sand and we wrapped up in 2 big, comfy blankets shivering under the cloudy sky. I didn't think the sun would show itself, but he was just so cute about wanting to do it. About 7AM-ish I hear a violin playing behind me and I whipped my head around and instantly knew what was about to happen. I turned to him laughing and said, " Are you serious? OMG Are you kidding?" He said, " What song is it?" I recognized our song Brighter Than Sunshine by Aqualung.He took out a ring and asked me to marry him, and I wholeheartedly without reservation said YES!. I think I was a bit stunned. I was an absolute mess and I was not exactly an enthusiastic morning person, but he takes the bad with the good and promised himself to me. He is such an amazing person and I am the happiest woman right now.

A Land Down Under

2009-03-27T06:04:00.001-07:00

I am having such an amazing time in Australia. Check it out!

He Just Smiled and Gave Her a Vegemite Sandwich

I'm here!

2009-03-24T19:01:00.000-07:00

I arrived! Rick is absolutely wonderful. He picked me up in a limo! Call me blown away.
It's absolutely beautiful here. So green.
I will be taking pics and posting my adventures soon. For now, I have to collapse. That plane ride took forevah!!!!

I'm in love with a wonderful guy!

2009-03-23T09:22:00.000-07:00

I'm in love.

3 little words with life-changing abilities.

I haven't been really good about blogging even though I have had TONS to talk about. I started another blog specifically about all that's been happening and I will eventually morph this blog into that one in the future. For now though you can read about my love over there because I have to be at the airport in about an hour to catch a flight to Australia!

He Just Smiled and Gave Her a Vegemite Sandwich.

Crush...

2009-01-20T12:01:00.000-08:00

...officially over.

Cinnabon Fakes Cupcakes

2008-12-23T15:27:00.000-08:00

Here is my recipe for Cinnabon Fakes Cupcakes. Finally!

Cake
1 1/2 sticks unsalted butter-room temp.
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup cake flour
2 tspns baking powder
1/4 tspn. salt
3 eggs & 1 egg white
3/4 cup milk
2 tspns vanilla extract

Cinnamon Mixture: 4 tblspns sugar, 3 tspns cinnamom, 2 tblspns butter. Mix with a fork until you make a crumby, coarse mixture. Set aside.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
In a mixer, beat the butter and sugar together on medium speed until light and fluffy. While that's beating sift together the dry ingredients in a bowl. In another bowl combine eggs, milk, and vanilla. Mix with a fork.
Once butter/sugar mixture is light and fluffy add 1/3 of the flour mixture to the butter/sugar. Mix on slow speed. Add 1/2 the wet ingredient mixture. Alternate until all of the ingredients are incorporated. Do not over mix.
Line cupcake pan with liners and fill 2/3 full with batter. Sprinkle cinnamon mixture on top of the batter. It will sink in during baking. Bake for 10-12 min at 350 degrees. Let cool.

Frosting

8oz. package of cream cheese-room temperature
1 stick unsalted butter-room temperature
4 cups powdered sugar
2 tspns vanilla
1/2 tspn lemon juice
1 tblspn milk

Beat the cream cheese and butter together until thoroughly mixed. Add sugar one cup at a time. Mix well after each cup. Add milk and mix. Beat on high for 12 minutes.* This is very important because we want air in this to make it really fluffy. Trust me on this. After about 10 min add vanilla and lemon juice and mix for another 2 or 3 min.
Frost cooled cupcakes and sprinkle a little cinnamon on top. YUM!

A Piece of Holiday Cheer-now with more nuts!

2008-12-22T10:52:00.000-08:00

She is Apathetic no more!
I managed to procure Christmas cards and put them in the mail. I got some shopping done and wrestled with myself over feelings of guilt about not being able to get everyone something. I won! No guilt. C'est la Vie. You cannot get blood from a turnip. lol
On Saturday we FINALLY got ourselves a tree and spent the next 3 hours decorating, rearranging furniture and vacuuming under said moved furniture for the first time in 2 years. Haha. Just kidding. But not. I just wish I hadn't STARTED at 9pm as I didn't get to bed until 1AM. New wrinkles have now found a home underneath my eyes and plan on staying for quite some time. Christmas brings it's own set of presents for me apparently!
On Sunday I got it into my head that the kitchen just wasn't nearly as destroyed as I thought it should be so I decided to whip up some cupcakes. White cake with an Eggnog Italian Buttercream sprinkled with freshly grated nutmeg, and a chocolate cake with Peppermint Italian buttercream sprinkled with candy cane bits. HEAVEN!
After a self-induced sugar coma I dragged myself to grandma's house to clean and ready it for our relatives. Am so tired.
I took a bunch of pics of our holiday merriment. You will become witness to the humiliation we impose on our cats for our amusement.

This one was not of our doing. This is what you walk into in our house sometimes. lol Or as I titled it. " I can drink a cat under the ru.....I Win! "

Kisses!

Mas besos!

Chaos!

yes those are totally Reeses pieces from Halloween. Haha. Use what ya have.

SOOOOOO GOOD!

I just want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. I hope Christmas finds you happy and content and in the company of those who love you the most.

* For those of you asking for my Cinnabon Fakes Cupcakes recipe, I will be posting that recipe tomorrow. I'm sorry I've dragged my feet on that. It will be here before ya know it! *

Crap-Now With More Bling!

2008-12-17T12:37:00.001-08:00

With relatives from California flying in on Friday for the holidays I have been busy at my grandmother's house cleaning out the spare room so people can actually habitate. My grandmother moved here in May and threw a lot of boxes in here to make room until such time that she could go through them all. We don't really have time to go through them all right now, but we manages to open a few of them to see if there was anything pertinent we needed. I found nothing pertinent, but I DID find a lot of funny and/or cool things. Such as....

A Pet Rock circa 1975. Nuh-hice!

I never had one of these and I can only imagine people bought these as gag gifts because....a rock? Really?? The thing that cracks me up is that she KEPT it!!

I pity the fool!!!!
Seriously, how cool is this? I loved Mr. T in the 80s.

Who could forget The "Fonz"
This one has genuine thumbs up action! lol She plans on selling these and many more on Ebay. I kind of want them. Am I weird? lol

This last thing just confused me. It's hideous for one, no confusion about that, but who did she buy it for?? That better not be my christmas gift. Haha.

I had to tell my mom.

" Mom! Come here and look at this!" I say quietly

" What is it? It's awful.", she says with a look of bewilderment on her face.

" Oh you're telling me! Haha Why does she buy this crap?", I say laughing.

Just then my grandmother walks down the hallway and appears at the door. My mom grabs the bag and shows it to her.

"What is this Mom?" my mom says holding the bag up.

"It's a bling." my grandmother says matter-of-factly.

" A WHAT??" I say sounding surprised and amused.

" You know. What all the girls buy. A bag or a purse. A bling bling." she says exasperatedly

This is when I started laughing.
My mom then says, " Oh thank God. I thought you bought yourself a sequined halter top."

And that's when I lost it completely.

Generation gap understanding of slang= FAIL

I'm still laughing.

Note Worthy

2008-12-09T10:05:00.000-08:00

Since becoming a parent I have always been searching for ways to effectively communicate with my child so that we had a solid foundation of respect and mutual understanding of each other. I have come to find out even more how important it is to be able to talk to your child especially as they get older.
Since Colin was diagnosed with ADHD last year I have become even more aware of this need to communicate in ways that would work better for him. One of these ways was in notes. I figured if I wrote it down he would have a tangible reminder of things he needed to do or know. I would write down his chores, remind him of appointments, and even tell him I love him, because who doesn't love to see it in writing? As a result of this Colin has taken this and run with it. He now writes his own notes to me. FOR ANYTHING.

This note he wrote and stuck on the bathroom door. It says, " OFF LIMITS! DO NOT GO IN! IMPORTANT BUSINESS BEING DONE. THIS MEANS YOU MOM A.K.A. MC LEESH." And he drew a little stick figure on the toilet. Nice. Classy. Effective. Hilarious.

This next one came about because I told him to find the yellow envelope for a birthday card. He starts a conversation on it and then gives me a follow up note on the progress. lol

This note was on my desk this morning. To charge his MP3 player and look at pictures of the cat he took. AT 6AM this morning.

This kid is sometimes so cute I want to eat him up and crush him with hugs and chap his skin with kisses. He makes me laugh and makes me realize that maybe I'm not doing as bad of a job raising him as I thought. lol
*Post script* He left the milk out of the fridge all night.*sigh* I'm writing him a note!

Eventually I'll Get It

2008-12-02T08:16:00.000-08:00

I've been a procrastinator my whole life. I think even at a tender age I was like, "no, I will clean up those toys LATER." "I do my best work under pressure!" I'm a mess. lol Lately though I have been trying to take small steps to change that attitude. One of the big problems with me is dinner. I hardly ever plan and mostly just pick something to make 10 min. before. This inevitably means that the microwave is the main method of cooking. Ok, Ok...re-heating. I do try to make it healthy though like steaming plenty of green vegetables and stuff. That way the guilt is lessened. Oh the guilt!
Yesterday afternoon I was reading a feed on my google reader and found an easy peasy recipe for Bolognese sauce. It didn't have very many ingredients. All it needed was a lengthy time to cook. I figured I could just make it while I made dinner and then refrigerate it until tomorrow then all I would have to do is boil pasta and heat the sauce. Actual homecooking, made in ADVANCE! Wow!
So tonight....Penne Bolognese with garlic bread and a salad. I'm so excited. I planned and cooked ahead! Progress. So while that is heating I will make Albondigas soup at my leisure and just refrigerate for the next evening. I figure if I just do that more often, like maybe cook 3-4 nights a week in advance, I have dinner for the next night and then we can just eat leftovers the rest of the week. Finally! I'm getting it. Plan ahead Felicia! Life will be easier! Life will be filled with more time to read and do fun stuff like... laundry! Oh yeah...the laundry. That's next.

http://www.amateurgourmet.com/2008/12/rigatoni_bologn.html

Thanksgiving 2008

2008-12-01T13:02:00.000-08:00

Turkey for me
Turkey for you
Let's eat the turkey
In my big brown shoe
Love to eat the turkey
At the table
I once saw a movie
With Betty Grable
Eat that turkey
All night long
Fifty million Elvis fans
Can't be wrong
Turkey lurkey doo and
Turkey lurkey dap
I eat that turkey
Then I take a nap
-Adam Sandler-The Thanksgiving Song

I'd like to change the last line to " Turkey lurkey doo and turkey lurley lick. I eat that turkey then I get real sick." Oh cuz I so did.

Thanksgiving 2008 will go down in my history as a bonafide suckfest. Oh we had all the trimmings and everything seemed great, but trouble was afoot.

Since this was my grandmother's first Thanksgiving in Alabama in her new home we were all excited to head over there and spend the holiday weekend reminiscing on past holidays, mourn and fondly remember our family member who died 2 weeks ago, and enjoy some good family cooking.
I was in charge of the green bean casserole,sweet potato casserole, cranberry mandarin orange sauce, and the rolls. I got ambitious too. I made the rolls from SCRATCH. With YEAST. Oh yeah...go me! I was rockin' the home cookin y'all! By 2pm we headed over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house. Ok...so there's no river, but there IS a creek and technically some woods. We arrived to a very sick grandmother who was not feeling the spirit of Thanksgiving. No, she was feeling the spirit of Nyquil. God Bless. So my mom and I prepared most of the rest of the stuff while she took a little pre-turkey nap. The turkey was already cooking and the pies were baked, meringueless lemon and pumpkin. My mouth was watering.
An hour before it was time to eat my grandmother gets up and gimps into the kitchen and proceeds to unleash a torrent of grumpiness on us. FUN! She got upset because the stuffing she made was too wet and my mom tried to help her. It became what I like to refer to as a "savory bread pudding". Um...pass, but you must not offend so you say, "Yum grandma! Looks good!"She also proceeded to get onto Colin about god knows what...maybe being a kid.
By the time we sat down I had already had a bloody mary, 2 glasses of wine and coffee with Bailey's. Escape much this holiday? haha. I ate with total abandon even though I wasn't really hungry. Big mistake. I felt like the turkey. Stuffed and cooked. I was officially done with Thanksgiving. An hour later I couldn't take anymore and said my goodbyes as the evening was only getting worse. I left with promises of returning the next evening for leftovers.

The next day I woke up not feeling well, but pushed it aside and went to work. I wasn't really hungry and didn't eat all day. By the time we got to my grandmother's house it was after 5pm. She was feeling much better. I was not. We finally ate around 7pm and ended up looking over old family photos that had been "lost" for 14 years. Around 9 I started to feel like I was breaking out in a cold sweat and things quickly went down hill. I said goodbye and practically ran out the door and raced home. I spent the next 7 hrs becoming very intimate with the porcelain god. *I love you...call me.* I didn't get to sleep until 5am. And the next 2 days were a blur.
I feel better now if somewhat weak. My grandmother called to see if I wanted to come over for leftovers again. Again...pass. I have no craving whatsoever for turkey or anything that goes with it. Although bonus...nothing like a stomach virus to kick start a diet.
One of the big plus sides was that Rick entertained me throughout and made me feel heaps better...and still managed to find me attractive despite my pale, sickly appearance. You have to love a man who can do that.

I hope you all had a wonderful and much better Thanksgiving than I did.

A to the Q

2008-11-21T12:07:00.000-08:00

Ok, I'm sorry it took so long to answer this. We had a family tragedy on Tuesday. We are coping.

Ok...so for the answers.

1. Colin called me a corn chip.
True- I was putting him to bed one night and I said to him, "Goodnight my little Frito Bandito." He looked at me and said. " Goodnight my little corn chip." That kid is hilarious.

2. The Veggie Tales "Cheeseburger Song" may have changed the course of my life.
True- I've met someone and things took a different turn after I sang him this song. lol Go figure. I think it a testament to my quirky self. My course may lead me down under in the future. Things are looking good.

3. I backed into another car causing $600 worth of damage. On Halloween.
True- Fuck all. Damnit. Shit. Hell. Ok....yeah that's gonna continue to hurt for 3 years.

4. I read 5 books in 7 days.
True- I began watching True Blood on HBO and found the books. They were like CRACK! Just sayin...lol So good I whipped through 5 of them in a week. Oh hey...what's that? I have laundry? And a kid to feed? Dishes? huh?

5. I took my cat Milo for a walk outside on a leash.
True- Some new crappy neighbors complained that my cat had been on their car. The guy made a point to tell me cats wandering around without a leash are subject to a $500 fine. I apologized and he said," no problem...hopefully it won't happen again or I'll be forced to call." Can you say asshole cat hater? The last time I tried to keep my cat in he got stressed and got a bladder infection and swelling from anxiety. The vet recommended I let him be an indoor/outdoor cat. Oh well. So I strapped a leash on my cat and took him out? Can we say FAIL. I hate my new neighbor.

Well Holly...you were the first one to guess correctly! You win a $15 gift card for Starbucks. Just email me your mailing info.
Thanks for playing along everyone!

True or False?

2008-11-18T11:11:00.000-08:00

Thank you to everyone for your support. You guys are awesome. These past few months have just been overwhelming and I have no idea where to start.

I'm writing down a few things that have happened to me lately, or not. You decide if it's true or not. If you want to play along please do. I will send out a Starbucks gift card to whomever guesses the most correctly. No...FOR REALS! I so will!

1. Colin called me a corn chip.

2. The Veggie Tales "Cheeseburger Song" may have changed the course of my life.

3. I backed into another car causing $600 worth of damage. On Halloween.

4. I read 5 books in 7 days.

5. I took my cat Milo for a walk outside on a leash.

I will give it a couple of days to see if anyone wants to play and then I'll disclose the answers and any explanations should there be lingering questions. lol

Auntie Meme

2008-11-13T11:03:00.000-08:00

In what has to be the slowest response time to a TAG meme...I offer this courtesy of my FABULOUS(hehe...couldn't resist) friend Rachel.

And I know...I haven't blogged in like a million years and then I crap out with a meme. That's how I roll.....
I promise to post more soon. I have lots to share.

You’re feeling: Happier if slightly headache-ish.

To your left: Work stuff and the book A Great and Terrible Beauty

On your mind: Australia

Last meal included: Split pea soup and toast.

You sometimes find it hard to: Stealing my answer from Rachel who stole it from Ally- BE PATIENT! I hate waiting!

The weather: Overcast, gray, wet, chilly

Something you have a collection of: Anne of Green Gables stuff. Cookbooks, Anthologies, doll, guidebooks. Yeah I know...major nerd.

A smell that cheers you up: Wood smoke. Makes me think of autumn. Mmm... Yep...same here...oh and clean laundry!

A smell that can ruin your mood: smelly bathroom

How long since you last shaved: This morning.

The current state of your hair: Rockin a cute ponytail

The largest item on your desk/workspace (not computer): My desk calendar

Your skill with chopsticks: I am pretty awesome with chopsticks. Not "Karate Kid catch a fly in chopsticks" awesome, but pretty damn good.

Which section do you head for first in a bookstore: Fiction!

Something you’re craving: Cake...really good cake.

Your general thoughts on the presidential race: None of the Above

How many times have you been hospitalized this year: None!

Favorite place to go for a quiet moment: My bed. It's like a cloud.

You’ve always secretly thought you’d be a good: Actress

Something that freaks you out a little: SPIDERS!

Something you’ve eaten too much of lately: English muffins

You have never: been skiing

You never want to: lose my loved ones

Road Trip!

2008-10-16T10:39:00.000-07:00

Friday afternoon I will be heading Southeast to one of the best little college towns this side of the Mississippi.
AUBURN UNIVERSITY!

The place where THIS happens at Toomer's Corner.

Home of the Tigers!

Home to this little lady.

I will be visiting my enormously talented, and beautiful friend Rachel for some much needed girl time where we will eat, drink, and be merry. I am soooo excited. We always have the best time together and no one makes me laugh like she does. This will be a most decadent, relaxing weekend with one of my best friends. Could life get any better? I think not.

No More Neglect

2008-10-15T11:17:00.000-07:00

I've been neglectful of many things lately.

1. This blog.
2. Reading and/or commenting on all of the fabulous blogs listed on the right. I am sorry.
3. Dishes. Hello! There's paper plates.
4. Laundry. Seriously have way too many clothes to wash. My washing machine hissed at me this morning.
5. Cooking. That's why microwaves were invented. And Domino's.
6. Me. Have been eating bad things. Evil carbs.

Things I have spent more time on lately:
1. My son- I'm a lucky woman
2. Sleeping
3. My fave TV shows
4. My friends
5. Couch potato status. Level Orange. Dangerous.
6. Baseball games.
7. Cubscout activities.

Things I will be doing more of.
1. Visiting friends
2. Reading
3. Walking
4. Picture taking
5. Sleeping
6. Eating better.
7. Spending time with my grandmother.

It's good to focus on the positive! :)

Barefoot

2008-09-23T10:39:00.000-07:00

Did you ever find a really great pair of "shoes" that from the minute you saw them you wanted them? You didn't know why and had no reason to get them, but you knew you had to have them. You tried them on and walked up and down the aisles of the store and swore to yourself what a good fit they were even if they were a teensy bit tight. Of course they'll loosen up though, you thought to yourself. It just takes a while to find that comfortable point, and sometimes shoes are like that;you have to walk in them to know if they're the right shoe for you. And maybe this pair of shoes was a different color or style than you would normally get, but you were smitten with them so you decided to get them. You could tell though that this particular pair wanted you too. They screamed out for you, and they were so shiny and new and just such great shoes that you made the impulse buy. And you were so glad you did because it felt so good to be in them, and you loved how they looked when they were on.

When you wore those shoes you felt beautiful and they made you feel good inside as if nothing could get you down. You could definitely see being in those shoes for awhile and wearing them with everything, that's how cool these shoes were. People noticed you in those shoes. You were confident, happy,and positively glowing with them on.

You took care of those shoes too. Those weren't just any shoes. You were careful to mind the puddles and the mud. You put them away with care instead of just throwing them on the floor by the door because it was convenient. But then a few weeks went by and you started to notice that you didn't feel as special when you were in those shoes. They were starting to pinch when they were on, and you started getting that feeling that maybe they didn't go with everything or that you were just so taken by them and wanted them so badly at first that you didn't notice that they were trying to tell you they pinched from the beginning. You started wearing them less and less. Those shoes weren't really calling out to you to wear them as much. You felt bad because you invested some time and happy memories in them, but now they weren't working out. You stuck it out for a little bit, but eventually you realized that they were never meant to be your shoes. The shoes didn't just pinch you, they hurt you. But you didn't know that until you walked in them. Oh sure, you could have kept them around and taken them out every now and then, but would it have made you as happy? No. It was probably best to let them go. Those shoes would find a new owner and be a better fit.
You would always remember those shoes though. They were awesome shoes. Someday you knew that you would find a pair that you just knew you could wear for years and years to come. But for the time being? For the time being you would go without. And somehow you knew that you were going to be ok going barefoot.

Today

2008-09-10T13:31:00.000-07:00

I am absolutely in love with this song. His name is Joshua Radin and he sang this song called TODAY at Ellen Degeneres' wedding recently. I have listened to this no less than 20 times and am falling for it more with every listen. Try to download this one. So worth it.

Weird Association

2008-09-08T11:42:00.000-07:00

Everyone has those memories where in your life 2 different things are inextricably linked in your mind because of an event or a moment that happened and trying to seperate them is damn near impossible. They are unique to our life stories, experiences, etc... I will attempt to write down five sets of two things that are forever linked together for me.

1. Hall & Oates and blue braided exercise rope

2. Toffifay and Woolworth's

3. Lollipops and pigeons

4. Revlon Flex shampoo and Camp Roberts Army Base

5. Father Figure by George Michael and God.

You're probably thinking Como say huh? Yeah...lol memories are weird like that.

1. Hall & Oates and blue braided exercise rope.
Back in 1983 we lived in Palmdale, Ca. My mom and dad had just split up and my mom decided to take a jazzercise class (all the rage then)at the local rec. center to feel better. She would bring my sister and I and we would sit in the back watching her and 18 other women bounce around in their shiny lycra leotards and sweatbands. They used these blue nylon braided ropes for some of their moves and my sister and I grabbed one and proceeded to spend the remaining hour unbraiding and "brushing" it and the whole time we did that the entire album for Hall & Oates-Private Eyes was playing in the background. So whenever I hear I Can't Go For That I think of blue nylon braided rope.

2. Toffifay and Woolworth's
In our little desert town of Palmdale we didn't have a whole lot of stores there in the early 80s. We did have a Woolworth's though which if anyone had one, it was just a "five and dime" kind of store. I don't remember anything we got there except for this candy called Toffifay.
Whenever we went to that store we would get some and so if and when I ever see that candy I can't help but remember our trips to Woolworth's.

3. Lollipops and pigeons
I was almost 3 yrs old. We were in the parking lot of a restaurant and I had a lollipop in my hand. There were pigeons all around the parking lot and my uncle told me he would hold my lollipop for me so the pigeons wouldn't take it because I was little. When I asked for it back as we walked in he told me that the pigeons had stolen my lollipop.(He threw it away) I got so mad I screamed at the pigeons and tried to chase them off. I started to cry and when we went in to the restaurant the waitress asked why I was crying and I told her the "punk pigeons stole my lollipop". So yeah. I believed that for YEARS!! lol

4. Revlon Flex Shampoo and Camp Roberts Army Base
I was in high school and I was in a group called Youth in Government (*cough* geek) We would take weekend conference trips twice during the school year to Paso Robles for training. We stayed at the Camp Roberts army base. At the time I had just bought Revlon's Flex shampoo because I really liked the balsam scent and I took it up with me and liked it so much I kept bringing it with me and so now whenever I smell that I think of Camp Roberts.

5. Father Figure by George Michael and God.
This one is just a funny memory for me. It was 1988 and that song was everywhere on the radio. My very religious grandmother and I were driving in the car somehwere and that song came on. She heard George Michael sing...I will be your Father Figure, put your tiny hand in mine...and said " Ooooh a song about God!" I cringed and kept quiet because I knew what a mistake it would have been to open my mouth just then. After about 1 minute of listening to the song she said " Oh, I guess it's not!"
I had to try so hard not to smile or laugh. She told my mom later she didn't approve of me listening to that "smut" music. So yeah...Father Figure and GOD! lol

So now it's your turn. What things do you associate with each other and why?

Unspectacular quirks

2008-09-05T08:33:00.000-07:00

Heather tagged me for this so I thought I would be a good sport and fill it out.
Rules:
1. Link the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules on your blog.
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.

1. I have the same routine in the shower every morning as far as the order in which I do things. Shampoo and conditioner, then while conditioner is in hair, wash face and body, rinse everything. A few times I have been distracted and done them out of order and it throws me off completely.

2. If I find something I like at a restaurant, I will stick with that same thing for the longest time. Sometimes I will start to order something new and end up ordering what I always order because I don't want to be disappointed. I did this on Sunday at P.F. Chang's. I ordered something new and it was awful so I sent it back and ended up ordering my usual.

3. Even though I have my bed to myself I still just sleep on one side of it. I tried sleeping in the middle and just ended up on one side in the morning again. My multitude of pillows staged a coup against me forcing me to one side. haha

4. I twirl my hair a lot. I do it when I'm nervous or have a lot on my mind. I also do it when I'm bored. This has been going on since age 3.

5. I only seperate my laundry into 2 piles. Lights and darks. I shun laundering rules.

6. I cringe inwardly at the sound of liquid being poured into a glass. Ick.

I won't tag anyone though...You may do as you wish. :)

Carnival

2008-09-01T08:24:00.000-07:00

This weekend found us making a visit to the carnival that came into town this past weekend. Much fun was had by everyone and we all left a little poorer and sweatier. I hate summer in the South.
Also, when your appetite has not been good for 2 weeks? Carnival Funnel Cake? Not such a good idea. Ugh.

"Mom? Can I be a carnie?"
"NO. Wait, I'm not going to say that. You can be whatever you want to be." *cringe*
"Would I have to fry stuff?"
"Among other things, yes."
"Then I don't want to be a carnie."
"Good call."

Into the Groove

2008-08-29T05:48:00.001-07:00

Baseball gives every American boy a chance to excel, not just to be as good as someone else but to be better than someone else. This is the nature of man and the name of the game.”

Ted Williams(American Baseball Player, 1918-2002)

Like me, Colin has always been the kind of kid that took his time finding his niche in things. He is a careful observer and watches and mimics what he sees. He picks things up pretty darn fast. Such is the case yesterday at his first baseball practice for "Fall Ball". He hadn't played since he was 5 and then it was using a tee to hit and trying to get your kid to run around the bases in the right direction. So very cute, but at the time he was very bored which explains why he had no desire to play again. Until now. We attended my friend Beth's son's games this spring and the baseball bug bit. HARD. SO I signed him up for the fall session because it is a good place for beginners to learn the game or for former players who just want to keep playing and hone their skills.

When he got out onto the field I was happy and nervous for him because most of the boys on his team had played continuously and thus knew how to throw, hit, and field. It immediately became apparent just how rusty he was. When it was his turn to field he missed, fumbled and threw the ball which came nowhere near the first baseman. Um.... he threw like a girl. Yikes. I cringed inwardly hoping he wouldn't get discouraged. But true to form within 20 min he was fielding them and making it all the way to the first baseman. And when it was his turn to hit, he got it on the first try and smacked it out into left field. Four times. He was finding his niche. He was grinning ear to ear when he walked off the field.

Once back in the dugout he walked over to where I was and said, "Did you see me hit mom?" "I sure did! You hit it on the first try!" I said smiling at him. The Asst. coach overheard me and said, "That's a hitter right there." Colin practically swelled with pride and I swear I saw his chest puff up. "Hey coach. That first ball I hit? That was what you call a line drive, right?" The coach smiled and looked at me and said to him, "Yes, I believe it was." I think he found his groove.

Here Comes The Sun

2008-08-27T07:06:00.001-07:00

This blog needs a major shot of happiness. I have been down for too long, and that is just not like me. You know it's time to turn it around when your boss tiptoes around you and asks you every half hour if you're ok because he knows you've been mentally gouging his eyeballs out with paper clips.:)
So the last couple of days have felt pretty good. I'm making the universe work for me and changing my karma around.

Things learned in past week.
1. Panic attacks will make food unappetizing. Bonus.
2. Guitar Hero III= Major time suck.
3. Mis-prioritization of tasks will make you a Guitar Hero champion.
4. Great friends ALWAYS make you feel better.
5. I am better when I am honest with myself and don't try to be some other stupid version of myself.
6. Wine is good.

Pounds lost in last 2 weeks due to unappetizing idea of eating.
4
Fit into kinda tight work pants today that are not tight at all. Sweet.

Total el b's lost in 2 months?
Twelve Even sweeter. Am starting to see my curves again.

Things never to understimate.
1. The healing power of my favorite song Just Like Heaven by The Cure. ALWAYS feels better.
2 That singing of said song in the car at the top of your lungs no matter what you look like to others will make you smile. A lot.
2. The power of a hug.
3. The power of your kid's love for you even when you suck as a parent.
4. The cathartic effect of blogging.
5. The power of your blogging friends who comment on your site and make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Thank you for the support.

A lady came in this morning to pay her bill and she always comes in like Eeyore. Life NEVER seems to be good for her and nothing positive comes out of her mouth. My smiles have no effect on her.
Me: Hi! How are you? Isn't it gorgeous out? It's nice to see the sun out after all of that rain.

Eeyore: It's still wet out. It ain't that gorgeous.

Me: Yes it is. It's just like heaven.

I've seen a million faces...and I've Rocked Them All!

2008-08-24T20:59:00.001-07:00

My hand...let me show you it.

That my friends is a condition. A very serious condition, deformity, if you will, caused from hard rocking. A common deformity due to overuse of GUITAR HERO. Oh, but yes. Now granted I am late to the game as most people have been playing this for a very long time, but I was only recently introduced to it. And since then, I have purchased my own game set and as a result I now need surgery to correct the deformity to my fingers. Haha!
Boy, I really had no idea what a time suck that game is. Seriously, I told myself one game just to practice. Cut to 2 hrs later. I'm still playing and my fingers are aching, but I CANNOT STOP. I'm sorry, but when Slash challenges you to a battle...you battle! Oh, and I won. Welcome to MY Jungle! What? Laundry? Household chores? What's that?
Colin, in his usual "quick study" style, managed to get it down after 2 tries. Me, not so much. Of course now that I've played it more it has gotten easier.

If I'm not blogging please come find me and seek medical attention for me to surgically remove the guitar from my hands.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have some ~~more playing~~ laundry to do.

And That's Lunch!

2008-08-22T12:48:00.000-07:00

At lunch today with my friend Beth and her co-workers.

David: You didn't see the Verne Troyer sex tape?

Me: No. But I read about it. I think he got lost in the tub under all the bubbles.

Brian: How big was the tub?

David: Like jacuzzi size. She could have at least not filled it up all the way. The guy could have drowned.

Brian: How the heck did they...do stuff??

Beth: What are you guys talking about down there?

David: Midget porn

Beth: *sigh*

Me: Wow. Time to go already?

You Give Love A Bad Name!

2008-08-21T10:44:00.000-07:00

I think I am definitely convinced that Bon Jovi was put on this earth to make the awesomely fantastic album Slippery When Wet to make us happy. Amen.

No More W(h)ining

2008-08-20T14:04:00.001-07:00

Coming home last night after another crappy day I quickly shed my work clothes and crawled into some comfy pjs. What to do for dinner? I was so not in the mood to cook. Pizza! YES! Perfect! I was still tense and on edge and was trying to breathe through the stress when I opened the fridge. Ooooh.....I still have wine. A very lovely, cold, Sauvignon Blanc. Now ordinarily I do not drink when I have had a shitty day because at that point there would be no restraint and it would only cause me to start crying massive tears into my wine glass and that's just not cool. Plus, I don't want to drink and start feeling all sorry for myself and wallow in my self-pity alone. My pity party. Bring cake! I decided,however, that since I was on day 2 of crappy days, I could therefore justify drinking one glass to relax and calm my nerves. Besides, pizza would be here in 30 min. It wouldn't be bad at all. I grabbed a regular drinking glass,not even caring that it wasn't a wine glass. Fancy am I. I poured some wine into it and proceeded to drink it while I ordered pizza. Within minutes I was feeling a bit better. I sat down on the couch and put my feet up.
Did you know that 30 min of sipping on wine waiting for pizza is good enough time to get light-headed and fuzzy? ( I have the tolerance of a gnat)Apparently you will turn on the TV and find VH1 classics and deem A-ha's Take On Me video the greatest song EVER and the video totally bitchin!. Why didn't you become a groupie?!? You continue to countdown the hits of the 80s and relive your crush on George Michael ALL OVER again. Back then you thought gay meant happy. HAHA.
Then when the pizza guy comes you will profess your love for him and give him a disgustingly big tip because...DUDE...he brought food...to your house...and you didn't have to cook it! If that's not love...ok...it could just be his job. Whatever. :P
I ate a slice and finished my wine hoping I would start to get sleepy and slip comfortably into slumber. I got on the internet instead and began to catch up on things. Probably not the best time to read anything tragic. The tears started flowing a bit. I decided enough was enough and I would have to find something funny to watch because even though I wasn't crying over myself, I clearly did not listen to my "no wine when blue" rule. As it turns out you will watch episodes of The Office to make you laugh and will relive your crush for "JIM" all over again. Why didn't you become a groupie?!?

Against the Wind

2008-08-19T12:04:00.000-07:00

I am on edge today. Really f*&%ing, twisting my hair, wanna run til my lungs give out, edgy. The kind of edgy where you don't know if you should have a really good cry or go off on the next person who royally pisses you off. At this point it might be both. I know this feeling won't last forever. I want to think positively and believe that things will only get better. I am a positive person by nature, but every girl has her off day.
I woke up with a feeling that things weren't quite right and at 8:35AM I found myself still stuck in traffic on a road I hardly ever go down on a day that had me thinking about taking different roads. Was this some sort of cosmic fortelling of my day? Perhaps. Or maybe it was just adding to my already rooting feeling of impending doom for the day. I got to work 20 min. late and tried to shake off the feeling of ickiness that threatened to ruin my day.
Then when I think things couldn't get worse. Things won't print, customers whine and won't listen. Boss who hovers like a police helicopter in pursuit of a criminal. Computer jams up...starting over. That knot in the pit of your stomach that threatens to send the contents of your meager breakfast upwards. The realization that as a person on the clock, cutting out early means 5 hrs less on your paycheck. Ugh.
I know...I know. Pour me a nice big cup of Shut the Hell Up. But, hey, we all have our days like this, right?
I am reminded of a day when I was about 12 and my world felt like it was crashing down. Things were tumultuous and changing, and I was feeling out of control. I had P.E. 2nd period with our Nazi-like gym teachers whose idea of fun was to make you run a cross-country. I hated running. I dreaded it every day and knowing it was mandatory only added to my anxiety. I was always in the back of my group. But that day was different. We had to run a figure eight around the school. I started out at my usual pace and watched the other kids pass me by. That knot in my stomach got bigger and to ease it I ran harder. I ran even harder and ended up near the front of my class. I ran and ran until my lungs felt like exploding. When I finally reached the end, I burst into tears and walked away. I felt better and worse. Relieved, but hurting.
Today is like that. I either need to run harder or I need a really big fucking hug.

Pancakes-Panthanks

2008-08-14T05:04:00.000-07:00

Colin: Ooooooh..pancakes!!! MMMMMmmmmmm Thank you.*Puts bite in mouth* These are really good mom. Thanks for cooking them for me.

Me: You're welcome sweetie.

Colin: Or should I say...thanks for heating them up? hahahahahahaha

Me: Punk. I MADE those and stored them in the freezer remember? So technically I did both.

Colin: Not bad...for heating up. hahaha

* He starts his Romanian gypsy circus career next week. Punk.*

Shout Outs

2008-08-13T07:41:00.000-07:00

I need to give some THANK YOU shout outs today.

To the makers of Midol- Thank you. Your combination of ingredients allowed me to feel human again, and gave me much needed relief. Without you I might have committed numerous, murderous acts against the general population. Thank you for allowing me to live free from criminal acts and thus saving me from a life behind bars. I am forever in your debt.

To Mother Nature- Thank you for making tasty, tasty oranges so that we may squeeze its delicious juices into cartons and partake of its sweet orangey goodness. Yeah for Vitamin C!-

To the makers of high thread count sheets- Thank you for providing me with an excuse to never get out of bed again while I recover in luxurious comfort. Can I get an Amen?

To Advil PM- Thank you for giving me the gift of a good night's sleep with the promise of no pain. I think I'm in love with you.

To Beth- Thank you for taking my calls late at night and calling to check on me. You are my specialist friend. And not short-bus special either. Awesome special.

To RR- Thank you for being there for me. You are awesome, and your biceps are kick-ass. ;)

Now if I could only get back to bed...

Back to School-2008-2009 Edition

2008-08-06T17:27:00.001-07:00

I am subtitling this "Thank You Sweet 8 lb. Baby Jesus"

Today! Today! The first day of school is here. *tear*. I'm just so happy. Excuse me a minute while I wipe my eyes. No, it's not sadness. It's outright JOY. haha Summer camp tuition-OVER! Late summertime bedtime hours-OVER! Whining about nothing to do-OVER!

Lest you think I am heartless and cruel, I did take pictures for his album. He looked awfully cute. But I "have to say that because I'm his mom." You know.
In any case I hope he has a great first day of school.
My first day of 5th grade was intimidating. We had just moved to a new city and I had to leave all of my old friends behind and face the prospect of making new ones all over again. This would be the fourth time in 2 years I had to do this.This time though we were staying put. I was excited and completely nervous.
I picked out my outfit for the day. It was a gray corduroy(shut up!)sleeveless dress that had a light gray plaidish type shirt with peter pan collar to go underneath. White knee socks and gray mary jane shoes completed the ensemble. You all can stop laughing now. It was AWESOME. I loved that outfit. Ok, ok, I was a complete dork. My outfit...let me show you it.(some of it anyway) I can has taste?

My son however? Cool as a cucumber. Of course I may find out 25 years from now he was a nervous pile of goo and was being cool for my sake. Kids. Geesh.

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books

Gotta go now. I have something in my eye.

Going Barefoot

2008-08-06T16:18:00.001-07:00

Did you ever find a really great pair of shoes that from the minute you saw them you wanted them? You didn't know why and had no reason to get them, but you knew you had to have them. You tried them on and walked up and down the aisles of the store and swore to yourself what a good fit they were even if they were a teensy bit tight. Of course they'll loosen up though, you thought to yourself. It just takes a while to find that comfortable point, and sometimes shoes are like that;you have to walk in them to know if they're the right shoe for you. And maybe this pair of shoes was a different color or style than you would normally get, but you were smitten with them so you decided to get them. You could tell though that this particular pair wanted you too. They screamed out for you, and they were so shiny and new and just such great shoes that you made the impulse buy. And you were so glad you did because it felt so good to be in them, and you loved how they looked when they were on.

When you wore those shoes you felt beautiful and they made you feel good inside as if nothing could get you down. You could definitely see being in those shoes for awhile and wearing them with everything, that's how cool these shoes were. People noticed you in those shoes. You were confident, happy,and positively glowing with them on.

You took care of those shoes too. Those weren't just any shoes. You were careful to mind the puddles and the mud. You put them away with care instead of just throwing them on the floor by the door because it was convenient. But then a few weeks went by and you started to notice that you didn't feel as special when you were in those shoes. They were starting to pinch when they were on, and you started getting that feeling that maybe they didn't go with everything or that you were just so taken by them and wanted them so badly at first that you didn't notice that they were trying to tell you they pinched from the beginning. You started wearing them less and less. Those shoes weren't really calling out to you to wear them as much. You felt bad because you invested some time and happy memories in them, but now they weren't working out. You stuck it out for a little bit, but eventually you realized that they were never meant to be your shoes. The shoes didn't just pinch you, they hurt you. But you didn't know that until you walked in them. Oh sure, you could have kept them around and taken them out every now and then, but would it have made you as happy? No. It was probably best to let them go. Those shoes would find a new owner and be a better fit.
You would always remember those shoes though. They were awesome shoes. Someday you knew that you would find a pair that you just knew you could wear for years and years to come. But for the time being? For the time being you would go without. And somehow you knew that you were going to be ok going barefoot.

Back to School Time!

2008-08-01T09:49:00.000-07:00

Remember Back-to-School time? The excitement of new school clothes, new school supplies, and the like always made me feel good until the second week of school wherein I hated homework and could care less if I ever saw another pencil again. Bleh.
I braved the aisles of our local Target yesterday to pick up the much needed school supplies that Colin will need to fulfill his 5th grade destiny of becoming the "coolest" kid which apparently includes skulls and flames on his lunchbox, a "Trapper Keeper-esque" folder, and a backpack the size of a compact car.
In Alabama this weekend our legislature gives us 3 days tax-free to purchase school supplies and clothes to give the public a break. I normally wait until that weekend, but after last year's experience of fighting for wide-ruled paper and driving to 5 different locations to find graph paper, I decided to go early and just get it done. I would spend more in gas than it would cost to just pay the FRIGGIN 8% tax. I'll probably take advantage of the tax break to buy clothes, but the hassle of fighting carts and hearing over zealous mothers scream at their kids to-FIND THE 3 PRONGED FOLDERS! Not THAT kind, the OTHER kind! WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY'RE OUT?!?!?-is not worth it. I would sooner take a freshly sharpened No. 2 pencil and jab it in my eye.

I swear that back when I was a kid in the 80s all we were required to purchase were folders, pencils, pens, and paper. NOW? Now we are required to purchase 2! 2 packs of dry erase markers, 1200 pieces of loose leaf paper, 80(yes 80) pencils, composition books, and tons of 3 PRONGED FRICKIN POCKET FOLDERS. Because apparently I am required to buy school supplies for the ENTIRE 5th grade! What the hell happened?
All things taken into account though I am glad the boy is going back. He's been a major pain in the butt lately with his pre-pubescent attitude and I am really close to shipping him off to military school. ATTENTION! Despite the looming threat of homework hell it will be nice to have him back and busy and challenged.

After our little shopping adventure I stopped by the food court to buy him a hot dog and sit out the rainstorm. I asked him what he was most excited about this school year.
Colin: I am excited about new teachers, new friends, and new homework.
Me: New homework?
Colin: Well, you know, like more CHALLENGING homework.
Me: Oh! Were you not challenged enough in the 4th grade? Challenging could mean harder ya know.
Colin: Yeah, but my bionic brain can handle it. I may have a small head, but it's full of brains.
Me: *snicker* I'm not even going to take the shot.
Colin: What? You think my head is HUGE?
Me: No. It's just right.
Colin: If someone says my head is huge I would just say " YEAH! TO HOLD ALL OF MY BRAINS!" haha So there!
Me: Yeah! So There!
Colin: Don't you wish you were as smart as me Mom?
Me: I lay awake in bed wishing every night.
Colin: Duh.

Yep. Back to School. Hot damn!

Rockin' Blogger

2008-07-28T09:28:00.000-07:00

This weekend I had the pleasure of meeting a fellow blogger who essentially got me started on the whole blogging thing to begin with. And just let me say that Stacey over at I need a [permanent] vacation is as awesome as you would expect. Not only is she smart and beautiful, but so down to earth and sweet. I felt like I had known her for years and years.
We had a great lunch at Blue Plate Cafe and then knocked back a couple of drinks at a local pub called Hair of the Dog where we just talked and talked. I'm really glad she doesn't live far because this is one person I could totally hang out with more.
She also took me on a tour of the newspaper plant where she works. I got to meet her very cool friend Jim and then got to see the printing press and how the plates to print the information are made. It was really cool.
Stacey, Thanks for everything. I had a blast. Let's do it again!

Secret Lovers

2008-07-22T08:19:00.000-07:00

Before the feelings of being down and out hit Sunday, I did have the opportunity to spend a great evening enjoying dinner and a movie with a good friend of mine at our new Bridge Street Town Center here in town. It was a perfect way to spend the night.
We had dinner and drinks at the Scene Lounge inside the theaters where I had a Spicy Mango Martini. Um...yum. So good. The food and drinks were great even if the service was a tad on the slow side. Overall it was just nice to relax and enjoy good company.
After dinner we saw The Dark Knight. Of course. Like I would miss that one. The movie was nothing short of spectacular. The casting was amazing, the performances unbelievably good, and the plot filled with twists and turns that left you wanting more. This raised the bar for what superhero movies should be.
Oh, and Christian Bale? My new boyfriend. Mmmm Hmmm. Sure he doesn't know it yet, but with some careful stalking and well written love letters he will be persuaded. Hehe Ok, Ok....So I'm not the stalking type. Damn. haha

Speaking of celebrity boyfriends....Has anyone seen the Dr. Horrible Sing-Along Blog with Neil Patrick Harris(gay crush-Why yes Dr. Howser, a kiss WOULD make it all better. lol) and Nathan Fillion? If not, you must, must, must! It's a three part mini-musical made by the Whedon bros.(of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fame) and it is pure awesomeness! So fun. It was available for free viewing for a few days, but now can only be purchased at iTunes. You want this. You need this. You know you want to see it.

Whine & Sympathy

2008-07-21T11:14:00.000-07:00

I was not in the greatest of moods yesterday. In a moment of superhero weakness I succumbed to the delicate female condition and spent the majority of the day on the couch bemoaning my curse. On top of that I had a bunch of housework that needed to be done, I was tired and grumpy,I was worried about other things, and the constant whining coming from my child was causing me to have random daydreams about dropping him off on someone else's doorstep for a week armed with his legos and a week's supply of waffles. Ok, so really not something I would do of course, but tempting at the time. Instead I watched Pride & Prejudice and called in for emotional reinforcement.
I called Beth and J. Both gave sympathy and offers of company and ice cream. I declined on both seeing as how I wouldn't be the best company and Ben & Jerry would only have offered empty calories. DELICIOUS calories, but empty nonetheless. It was the thought that counted. They listened to my whining and gave me what I needed at that moment. An ear.
Sometimes all you need is for someone to listen and tell you everything is going to be o.k. It might not be, but it's nice to have friends who know when to tell it to you straight and when to soothe your troubles with sympathy and nice words.
We all have our moments of weakness where we feel like the world is going to cave in on us, and at any moment you may break from the pressure of holding everything up, but you can always count on your friend to sit next to you and take some of the pressure off of that burden even if all that involves is saying, I know sweetie. You're not alone. And as it turns out, I'm really not. I have friends. I am never alone.

Showered with Embarrassment

2008-07-18T12:33:00.000-07:00

Embarrassing moments. We all have them. Some more than others. I seem to be prone to them and have had quite a few embarrassing moments in my life.

When I was a sophomore in high school I was part of a group called Youth In Government (cough* GEEK) where we formed a mock government and took conference trips to pass bills and elect officials. We would take 2 trips to San Luis Obispo before our big Sacramento trip where we stayed at Camp San Luis Obispo. We stayed in 2 person barrack shacks that were scattered all over and of course we had barrack type latrines and shower facilities. On that particular trip the girls in our area were complaining that we did not have a bathroom/shower close to us yet there were 2 designated for boys within 15 ft of each other. It was brought up at our last group assembly for the night in front of some 2000 high school students. By 9:30pm, we were all a little caged at that point. The advisors noticed the mistake on the map and announced that latrine #456(whatever) would now be designated for girls. I was happy now that I no longer had to trek a bajillion miles to take a shower.
When I got back to my shack I got all my shower gear and clothes and told my shackmate where I was going and asked if she wanted to come with. She declined saying she had a card game to go to in Tim's shack.
I walked to the newly female designated restroom facility and tore down the paper sign that read BOYS. The entire place was empty! Woohooo...all to myself. This one even had shower curtains. Clearly it had been an error on the advisors part to make this a boys area. Ppfffttt. Out of 15 curtained shower heads I chose the middle one. I put my clothes down on the wooden bench against the opposite wall and went into my little shower "stall". I turned the water on and let the hot water run over me.
A few minutes later I heard someone walk into the bathroom. Oh well. I knew I couldn't be alone for long with 1999 other kids around. "Who's in here?" a voice called out from the door. O.M.G. It was a guy. My heart panicked and I poked my head out of the shower and screamed out " Get the hell out! This is a girls bathroom. I'm showering!!!" The guy looked shocked to see me and yelled out that it was a boys bathroom. He clearly had not been listening at the meeting. I told him to get the hell out AGAIN and he disappeared.
By this time my heart was racing and I hastily finished my shower. Just as I turned the water off I heard voices. PLURAL. " Dude! There is a girl in there! I'm telling you. She's SHOWERING!" I just talked to her." I could hear about 5 boys talking and shushing each other. I had a mild heart attack. I obviously could not run to the bench and get my clothes because they would be in the bathroom in 1 second. I quickly grabbed the metal tubing that ran along the wall above me and placed my feet on the ones near the floor so they couldn't see my feet if they happened to walk by the stalls. No sooner had I done that when the boys walked in looking for "the girl". I could hear them looking through the whole bathroom and talking excitedly hoping they would catch a glimpse. I was mortified. "She's not here!" said one. "Her stuff is still here. What? Did she run out naked?" said another. I clamped down tighter on the tubing above me, my hands aching, trying to hold on. Shit.

After about 30 more seconds they gave up. They never did check the stalls. Thank Gawd! They left and I stood there shaking and nervous that they would come back. After another 5 minutes of shivering I finally got out and quickly dressed and ran out to get back to my shack. I ran into my friend John and he huddled me back to my room. I didn't sleep much that night.

The next morning in the mess hall I sat down to eat with my other delegates and overheard the boys at the next table talking about the girl they almost caught in the shower last night. I looked at John who started laughing by then, and I quickly got up, put my hands next to my face and walked out of the mess hall afraid the boy would recognize me. I was never a more brighter shade of red. Next time I think I might just trek the bajillion miles to the bathroom clearly marked GIRLS.

* HEY! Make me feel better and tell me an embarrassing moment of your own.*

Absurdities: Part Deux

2008-07-16T11:07:00.000-07:00

You may remember a post I did on some of the crazy things that go on in this office. We see and hear our fair share of weird things. I talked about one such man who informed us that he called the WHITE HOUSE about his stimulus check. Shaw right. Well, he's back and better than ever!

Every day he comes in our office to pilfer through our basket of candy, and each day he says as he stuffs a handful of candy in his pocket, " I'm not gonna be greedy now. Y'all are savin' mah life!" Indeed. He walks up and down our sidewalk visiting each business daily making various empty promises to each one. He's like Wimpy from Popeye. I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today! Back when I first started here he would ask me to make a couple of copies for him and while doing so I would make note of the material. There was stuff like lawsuits he was filing on behalf of the NAACP for a trillion dollars(yes, a trillion) against parties who damaged him emotionally through racial stereotypes and various other crimes against the color of his skin.

The thing is he appears to have a place to sleep at night and has access to clean clothes and showers because he always appears clean and smells good enough if you like your men cloaked in cheap after shave. He's not just some crazy homeless man. He is just some crazy regular person whose only job appears to be that of a mooch.

Even our work neighbors have been privy to his "crazy" when he asked them to mail an envelope that read: To: The President of the United States of America
George W. Bush
(White House)
Only to be opened by the commander-in-chief himself
or Condoleeza Rice- Secretary of State
***Re: Muslim Sleeper cells in Alabama- Highly sensitive information***

I shit you not! On the fucking envelope!

They made a copy. It's all kinds of nuts.

He came in last week and we were out of candy. This apparently caused some grief because he stood there looking at me as if I could just produce some out of thin air.
Him: Y'all out of candy??"
Me: It's been going fast lately.
Him: Well...hmmm... I'm going to buy some and replace it.
Me: That's ok. Don't worry about it.
Him: Hey I wanted to tell you something. I'm a write in candidate for president of the United States. *pulls out folded, faded paper with a notary mark* See here? I'm a write in candidate and I sure could use your support on election day.
Me: Wow. President huh?
Him: Yeah. But I been getting death threats through my walls and seeing as how I haven't had any secret service escorts yet I'm gonna be needing to fly to Washington D.C. to get it all straightened out.
Me: Of course. You can't be threatened like that. Your presidency would be at stake.
Him: That's right. So I'll be going there soon. But I'll bring you some candy before that.
Me: Looking forward to it.

I wish I was making this up. lol Then the following day he came in and passed out his business cards. I had to scan it and post it because no one would believe the genius of insanity that this card is made of. It makes no sense at all.

Exhibit A:

Please tell me you see what I see. A very light image of the PRESIDENTIAL SEAL. oh ahahahahahahahahahaha....omg...hahahahaha I can't breathe now.

He came in today and brought a bag of peppermints and dumped them in our candy basket. "I'm not going to be greedy now" he says as he takes a handful of the candy he just brought. He's going to make an excellent politician.

Burger King of Hearts

2008-07-15T09:04:00.001-07:00

Colin: Mom? If I don't become a veterinarian I'm going to be a restaurant manager.

Me: A restaurant manager? Why's that?

Colin: Because I could make good food and I could call it Burger Kingdom.

Me: Watch out because Burger King might have a problem with that.

Colin: I could just call it Burger QUEEN. Nah, then all the girls would be all over me because I named something for them. They would be all kissy, kissy with me and wanting to hug me all the time. Well...I guess it wouldn't be that bad.

Me: Wait a minute. Hold the phone. You mean to tell me you've changed your opinion on kissing? You're ok with it now?

Colin: Yeah.

Me: What happened to kissing is gross?

Colin: Girls are cute.

Me: You know you're grounded until you're 30 right?

Colin: Yeah right! You can't stop the KING! hahahahahahahahahahaha

Me: Military school it is!

Me thinks that I am in a heap o trouble soon. lol

Knock Knock!

2008-07-14T08:39:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I spent about 3 hours going door to door in 4 buildings of our condo subdivision. No, I was not selling encyclopedias. ~I have a lovely leather-bound set of knowledge for only $24.99 a month! Get them while they last!~ Instead I was gathering names, numbers, and e-mail addresses for our new neighborhood watch program that I will be heading up. How in the Hay-ell did I get sucked into this?

I started with the first building armed with my clipboard and pen and a smile. The weather was balmy and the sky looked really heavy with rain, but I was determined to start. I knocked on 4 doors until one finally opened. Barely. The woman peeked out and was immediately on the defensive. I smiled and introduced myself and launched into my little speech. She softened considerably after that and gave me her info. One down, 100 more units to go. I made it through 4 buildings before the rain came down in sheets and I had to stop for the time being. Somehow I didn't think a wet, bedraggled woman with a clipboard would be a good representative for anything but crazy. I walked home with only 12 names out of 40 units I visited. Needless to say I was feeling disappointed at my progress and as luck would have it I slipped and fell in the mud on the way back to my condo. Nicely done!
After showering I sat on the couch and thought about how I only managed to get 12 people to open their doors when a lot more than that were home, but either did not hear me knock or just decided to not open the door to a stranger. I get that. I do. I'm a single woman. I know to be careful. It just dawned on me how different things are now compared to when I was a kid.
Back when I was a kid, which was not all THAT long ago, we knew our neighbors on our block and even sometimes a few blocks over. We opened our doors to people and were not quite as leery as we are now. When did that happen? Have things changed all that much or are we just more hyper aware because of the news, the books we read, the movies we see? Are we so bad off now that we need to keep ourselves protected in a bubble so that nothing bad will happen to us? We can't get to know our neighbors because they might be weird. They might be drug users, pedophiles, murderers etc... How completely sad and closed off we are. I can't blame others; I do it too.
I spent 1 1/2 yrs next door to a woman I barely saw or talked to before she moved out. I have only seen my new neighbor twice in 5 months. I really hate that. We share a building. I should be doing my part to get to know her, not only for her safety, but for mine. I find that if we help others, they in turn are more likely to help you, and how can that be so bad?
The people that I did talk to that day told me about some stuff they had seen happen around the neighborhood, but they hadn't said anything. This is the kind of thing we all need to know. If we made more of an effort to get to know each other we would probably be more willing to tell each other out of concern. I guess this is where I come in.
It starts with one person. I'm going to get the ball rolling here and make an effort to get to know my neighbors. I want them safe. I want my neighborhood safe. I want my child safe. I'm going to keep knocking until the walls come down, because isn't that what we are really knocking against;the walls we build ourselves? I think its time we let ourselves out.

100 things

2008-07-13T19:41:00.000-07:00

1.I have never been in love. Almost, but not quite.
2.Sometimes I seriously wonder if there is something wrong with me in that department or whether I just haven't met the right one.
3.I have been rejected 3 different times in my life by my dad.
4. I think this has something to do with why I can't find the right one.
5.I have an amazing memory when it comes to song lyrics and music.
6.Just don't ask me what I had for breakfast that morning. Huh? Breakfast? I don't know!
7.I wanted to be an archaeologist when I was little.
8.I love anything to do with “excavating”.
9.My son makes me a better person every day.
10.Being his mom is hard, but worth it.
11.I would love to have another kid someday.
12.I don't know if I ever will.
13.I love cheesy movies. i.e. Xanadu, A Chorus Line, Center Stage, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.
14.I invite my friends over to watch these movies and we drink wine and eat dip.
15.One of my favorite songs is Just Like Heaven by The Cure. Everything fades away when I hear it.
16.I secretly want to be famous.
17.I am a big chicken and have bad stage fright.
18.But, I can do karaoke.
19.I usually have to have a drink before though.
20.I have a low tolerance for alcohol.
21.I have one sister.
22.We did not get along well AT ALL when we were younger.
23.After she became a mom we became closer.
24.My mom raised both of us by herself.
25.I have no idea how she did it. I think she's amazing.
26.My eyes were blue until I was 12, and then they changed to blue/green. Now they are mostly green.
27.They have orange in them.
28.I have a hard time returning library books.
29.And movies.
30.I used to pay a lot of late fees.
31.Netflix is my hero.
32.I love magazines. Any kind. Lots of varied info in a portable, condensed package. Perfect!
33.I am a bit of a geek.
34.I love the smell of coffee, but I can't get used to the taste.
35.I am obsessed with things that smell like clean laundry.
36.I own a perfume called CLEAN.
37.My favorite perfume is Romance by Ralph Lauren.
38.I am obsessed with music.
39.I wish there was a soundtrack to my life playing in the background.
40.I love bookstores and disappear for hours in them.
41.I have a lot of books. I don't have enough.
42.I make cupcakes as a hobby.
43.I procrastinate.
44.My favorite color is blue.
45.My bedroom is blue and white.
46.I don't get enough sleep.
47.I stay up late because I feel like I will miss out on something.
48.I performed at the opening ceremonies of Disneyland Paris when I turned 18.
49.I got lost on the Metro, and ended up looking for Jim Morrison's grave.
50.I wish I could travel more.
51.I would love to take a year to travel around the world.
52.I really want to go to Prince Edward Island, Canada.
53.I want to learn to play the piano.
54.And the guitar.
55.I love learning.
56.I was a preschool teacher for 11 years.
57.Sometimes I miss it, but not nearly enough to go back.
58.Fall is my favorite time of year.
59.I really love Christmas traditions.
60.I am fiercely loyal.
61.I have really great friends.
62.My favorite flowers are peonies, hydrangeas, and peachy/pink roses.
63.I can't stand the sound of liquid being poured into a glass.
64.I do love the sound of running water in a creek.
65.I am hopelessly flawed.
66.I'm o.k. with that
67.I wish I was smarter.
68.I am on the internet way too much.
69.I love to take photos.
70.I would love to make that my profession.
71.I'm generally an optimistic person.
72.I am a people pleaser.
73.I worry about dying young.
74.I have A LOT of flip flops. I still call them thongs sometimes, out of habit.
75.I always use my turn signals.
76.My pet peeve is when other drivers don't.
77.I'm not a chocolate lover, but I do like chocolate almonds.
78.I love plain vanilla ice cream.
79.I'm bad about returning calls.
80.I love the beach.
81.I lived in California for 28 years.
82.I used to go to Disneyland once or twice a week when my son was between 2 and 3.
83.I wish I were more organized.
84.See # 43
85.Sometimes I miss my friend Yvette so much it hurts to breathe.
86.She is my female soul mate.
87.I don't like slasher movies. They make me physically ill.
88.I like suspenseful movies.
89.I don't like animal movies. They make me cry too much.
90.I believe in treating people as you want to be treated.
91.I believe even mean people need to be show kindness.
92.I believe in helping people.
93.I like talking to senior citizens. They have great stories.
94.I really like cheeseburgers.
95.I need to eat more vegetables.
96.I like my eyes.
97.I don't like my cheeks.
98.I like my hair.
99.I don't like my hair.
100. I am weird. I like that.

R.I.P. Max the Betta Fish

2008-07-10T07:38:00.000-07:00

It was a sad, sad morning in our household.Colin's betta Max (ok..haha..beta max, but seriously) died. He got stuck in a little decorative ceramic pot that was in his bowl. Apparently he couldn't wiggle his way out. Of course Colin was very upset. The situation ended up being ridiculous and hysterical all at the same time. I'll lay it down for ya.
I grabbed the fish bowl and set it on the counter so I could retrieve the dead fish and gather his other fish Bubbles so he wouldn't head down the drain. Immediately our cat Milo jumps onto the counter sink and starts poking his head in to see what's going on. He usually never does this so I know he is intrigued and must smell the fish. I move him out of the way and start transferring the other fish so I can clean the bowl. I turn the other way and hear Colin screaming at our OTHER cat Daisy because she had managed to jump on the counter unawares and had by then started drinking the fish water with Bubbles swimming around. I grab the cat and got her off the counter only to see that Milo has jumped back up and is now sniffing and licking the dead fish. Oh...my gawd. By this time I am laughing so hard I can't see, and Colin is equal parts crying and laughing and shouting " It's NOT funny MOM!" Oh, but it was.

We finally got the cats off of the counter and cleaned everything up, and transferred the one remaining fish to his bowl. The cats had moved into the livingroom pouting over their missed fish breakfast. Colin started planning a burial for this afternoon. I now have a little fish corpse in a baggie in my fridge to keep him "fresh" for his burial later. IN MY FRIDGE. Life doesn't get any better than this does it?
And I mean that in the best possible way.

20 Questions

2008-07-09T10:03:00.000-07:00

1.Explain what ended your last relationship?

Basically, we ended up not being that compatible, but he also had a lot of previous relationship baggage that he proceeded to dump on me. There is much anger in you young Skywalker!
2.When was the last time you shaved?

That's rather personal huh? But if I must answer I say 2 days ago. And that's as far as I'm going with THAT. I do wonder though why I always seem remember a Dr's appt too late and realize I have NOT shaved and then am apologizing for said non-shaved legs?

3.What were you doing this morning at 8AM?

Not sleeping. :P I was putting on some earrings and debating whether or not to re-iron my shirt. Nah.
4. What were you doing 15 min. ago.?
Asking my boss if I could leave a half hour early. I just don't want to be at work today. Bleh

5. Some things you are excited about?
I am excited to go back to school this fall and start finishing up my degree. I am excited kids go back to school in 4 weeks. Woohoo! I am excited that it will be cooler this weekend. I'm so excited, I'm so exc..I'm so...scared! Haha-Saved By the Bell!

6. What is your favorite flavor of jell-o?
I really like lime. I don't do the red ones. Tastes too much like medicine.

7. Your prom night? What do you remember?
"Oh What A Night" He bought me a red rose wrist corsage. We rented a red Mustang convertible for the night so we wouldn't have to turn in a limo after just 3 hrs. It was sweet! We danced all night and didn't come home until noon the next day.

8. Do you have any famous ancestors?
Hmmm...on my mom's side we are related to the late Lola Beltran- a mexican ranchera singer . That's where we get our singing abilities. ;) My dad's side? No one I am aware of.

9. Last think received in the mail.
Utility bill. FUN!

10. How many beverages have you had today?
One cup of coffee. I don't like coffee. I need some water.

11.Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machines?
They still have those? Voicemail, yes, but I hate to. I sound awkward and goofy. HI! I'm a complete dork! Call me back!....spaz

12. Do you draw your name in the sand at the beach?
Once when I was 17 after seeing it in a movie. Other than that, no.

13. Any plans for Friday night?
Oh yes...yes...yes there is. Can't wait til Friday.

14. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?

YES! Lots of body! Look like porn star! Ok, ok...nothing like a porn star. More like bedhead. Ha! But it's workable!

15.Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns?
Almost every christmas. Hey! Here's a crappy can of popcorn! Merry Christmas!

16. Have you ever re-used a bath towel after you shower?Yes, I use them twice and then use a new one.

17. Describe your keychain(s).
I have a cupcake key cover over one key, a photo frame with a pic of my kid, and a Fleur de Lis purse hook.

18. Where do you keep your change?In my purse, washing machine, carpet, floor of car. They seem to appear everywhere! lol

19.When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?
As a counselor at a treatment facility for girls. Tough crowd ;)

20. When was the last time you sang out loud?
This morning whle listening to my iPod. I love to sing!

Beauty 101

2008-07-07T14:03:00.000-07:00

Recently,I have had some new things happen in my life that have me reflecting on previous attitudes, ideas, and the like.
All of my life I have always struggled with the issue of beauty as told to us by popular opinion. As women we are bombarded daily with a barrage of magazines,books, and media that tell us what is beautiful. On the cover of every beauty magazine is an image of a woman almost impossible to emulate. Only if we have the right figure,the right clothes, the right shoes, the right make-up, the right hair and accessories are we deemed beautiful, or so I was led to believe from reading them. It started early too with my ventures into teen magazines. I wanted to look like those girls. They had boyfriends, and were popular. I wanted that too. I really wanted that. Oh sure, my mom always said I was pretty, but she's my mom. They have to say stuff like that. The thing is, I was never going to be or have those things that made those girls beautiful. I envied my pretty friends and their pretty things.
I was always the girl a little bit bigger than the others and therefore deemed unworthy of the beauty banner. Every magazine only made me feel worse about myself. I was only made to feel worse when my grandmother used to say things like, "You have such a pretty face, if you lost weight you would be beautiful." I know she didn't mean to hurt me, but for a girl already feeling like an ugly duckling it only made me feel worse.
I hid all of my feelings about this down inside, and did my best to be the sweet, funny girl. I had a lot of friends in high school, and was well liked. Over the years I had found some confidence in the way I looked and it paid off. I was realizing that what counted most wasn't what people saw on the outside. People who you like inevitably become more attractive to you the more you get to know them.

By the time I was an adult I became even more confident in my appearance because I made the best of what was in me, inside AND outside. I started focusing on my attributes instead of tearing myself down and living by someone else's idea of beauty. I began to OWN who I was and what I looked like, and I noticed a difference. As of today, I no longer try to put myself down or let others opinions of my looks, body or otherwise, affect how I feel about myself. When you feel beautiful, sexy , and confident in yourself eventually people will notice because confidence makes all the difference in the world.

Gulf Shores '08

2008-06-23T08:54:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year! I'm going to the beach! Gulf Shores, Alabama to be exact.
It's our annual ABC trip down to the "dirty souf" to soak in the sun,relax, and hang with some pretty awesome women. We had so much fun last year and came back a little hung over, a little sun-burned, a little tired, and a whole lot happier for having done it.
We leave Thursday morning and will make the 6-7 hr trip down to the gulf with a couple of stops on the way. We cannot pass Chilton County without stopping for something with peaches in it as that is what they are known for.

Then when we are just about to the gulf we stop off at Lulu's @ Homeport(Jimmy Buffet's sister)for some great food and libations. This place is always packed. It's great though to sit next to the water drinking a cold beer and feeling the balmy breezes pass by. I wouldn't miss this part of the trip for anything.

Friday will be spent on the beautiful sand listening to the water and RELAXING. I can't wait for that part. This past year has been a doozy and I need the break to let loose and have some fun.

On Friday night we will once again hit the Florabama! On the state line of Alabama and Florida, this famous roadhouse boasts a laidback environment free from judgements and worries. The people that frequent this place are a mix of preppy college kids,bikers, seniors, 30-somethings and everything else. I have never seen such a diverse group of people in one place where the smell of stale beer,salt water, and smoke has a calming, accept everyone effect on people. This place is so much fun. Our role in this? Cougars. Oh yeah.

On Saturday we will hit the beach again and most likely recover. lol

Another Alabama institution we will visit is a restaurant called Tacky Jack's. Seafood galore housed in a three story shack on the water. AWESOME!

And finally, no trip to Gulf Shores would be complete without some tacky crap from Souvenir City. Hahahahaha Sweet!

With all of this fun though I am giving myself a few guidelines based on last year's excesses.
1. I shall not drink vodka on the beach. Direct sun, extreme heat, and vodka does not a good cocktail make. Lesson learned.
2. I shall wear a hat as to avoid burning the top layer of my brain.
3. I shall reapply sunscreen every 30 min. no matter what the SPF is rather than looking at my watch in a vodka laden stupor shouting "hey! I'm red!"
4. I shall not reveal my legal name to anyone. On Thursday I will be AKA Lola.
5. I will drink more water.
6. I will take more pictures and cherish every single moment that I am away so that I can cherish every single moment to coming back.

I can't wait for 5:00pm Wednesday! Hurry! Hurry!

Let's Go To The Movies-Part 2

2008-06-19T11:55:00.001-07:00

These are movies coming out this August. So excited!

He's Just Not That Into You- In theaters August 1

Read the book. A virtual dating bible for women.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor In theaters August 1
Brendan Fraser-Always had a crush

Journey To The Center of the Earth-3D In theaters August 8
Brendan Fraser AGAIN- YUM and it's in 3D, and I have a 10 yr old. boy.

Fly Me To The Moon In theaters August 22
Again-3D lol

Swing Vote In theaters August 1
This looks interesting and different, but it's a Kevin Costner movie so look at parking your butt for at least 3 hrs. lol Ok, that was mean.

Let's Go To The Movies!

2008-06-19T08:28:00.001-07:00

Anyone who knows me knows that when I go to the movies I have to be there ON TIME in order to see the previews. I LOVE to see what's coming out next. So I was doing some research and found some movies that look really interesting and that we will most likely be seeing this year. I will start with movies in July.
Check it out! You might find something you like!

JULY 2008

Diminished Capacity In Theaters July 4

Dark Knight In Theaters July 18
Wow!

Mamma Mia In Theaters July 18
Meryl Streep, Colin Firth, ABBA music, Enough said.

The Stepbrothers In theaters July 25
Looks hilarious!

Burpology 101

2008-06-16T21:35:00.000-07:00

As we were driving home...

Me: *Burp* Ohh..hehehe... excuse me!

Colin: That was an upchuck!

Me: A what?

Colin: You know, the kind of burp where your food comes up a little.

Me: It was. It tasted like spaghetti. Haha. Gross.

Colin: Ewww...

Mom: How did you know that??

Colin: Because I do. I just know it. I know which burps are which.

Me: So you're like the burp-ologist?

Colin: Haha! Yeah!

Me: The Burp Master, Master Burper?

Colin: Professor of Burpology?

Me: You could get your Ph.D and write a dissertation on Northern Gases.

Colin: *laughs*

Me: You could get booked for entertainment like a D.J. Except you'd be the B.J. ...Uh...NO...nevermind. Haha

Colin: Why? What does B.J. stand for?

Me: Uhhhhh...

Colin: Is it Burp Judge?

Me: Yes! Yes it is.

Colin: Hahaha...B.J. Cool.

Me: *laughs* Oh geez. *Burp*

Colin: Good one Mom.

Happiness is...

2008-06-16T10:34:00.000-07:00

...a sunny day.

...sleeping in.

...friends who care and don't mind helping you one bit.

...a child that loves you no matter what you look like.

...a car that gets you where you need to go.

...a green tea latte from Starbucks. Yum!

...a movie that makes you feel good inside.

...fitting into your clothes.

...blackberry lemonade.

...making someone feel good about themselves.

...being sore from working out because you know you did something good for yourself.

...playing Wii with your friends.

...cuddly, loving cats.

...hearing your favorite song on the radio.

...your child throwing his arms around you at night to whisper I love you.

Happy 10th Birthday Colin!

2008-06-10T09:07:00.000-07:00

Happy 10th Birthday Baby! I know, I know! You are NOT a baby in the literal sense, but you will always be MY baby.
I can't believe you are a whole decade old. Ten years ago you came into my life and turned my world upside down, but upside down is a good place to be.
You were born at 6:30 AM on a Wednesday. Wordless Wednesday. There were no words that could have adequately expressed my joy and fear that I was your mom. It was the most beautiful feeling ever.
How you finally came into this world speaks volumes of the person you are. I have to come to understand that over these past years, especially this last one. You were a week overdue and nowhere ready to leave anytime soon so I had you evicted. *You try lugging around a kid for 9+ months and see what you do. haha* After 15+ hours of labor you were still not ready so you were delivered into this world by c-section on the morning of June 10. Believe me when I say you had a cush ride; Probably the reason you didn't want to leave. Ever since then it has been a struggle for me to finally realize that if ever there was a motto of your life it would be this, Colin:In His Own Time.
Sweetie, this past year was a rough one for both of us. Most parents figure that by the time their kids are past the age of 2 that things will be rainbows and sunshine, but they are not. This is not a criticism in any way shape or form, merely observations from my point of view. You have changed so much and I was beginning not to recognize the boy I had known. You grew so much this year emotionally and physically. Having gone through this with you I am remembering my own childhood at this age when you are beginning to not want to be a kid, yet you are still not ready to begin being grown-up. It is definitely the transition from your childhood into teen adolescence, and it is hard.
This last year you had trouble in school and we struggled to understand what was going on. We went to a couple of doctors and you were finally diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder. At the time I was relieved to figure out the source of the problem, but disheartened to learn that you had to deal with this. I educated both of us on the subject so that we could handle this with the least amount of stress as possible. I have learned a great many things about you this year and I will say this: Your A.D.D. is NOT who you are. It is what you have. Challenge? YES! Dirorder? NO! If anything, I have seen you handle this with a sense of humor and self-deprication. You have had your moments of pity, but I did not allow you to wallow in it because I won't let this be an excuse for not doing or getting anything you want in this world. I'm sorry if you thought I was mean. I was only trying to be strong in your moments of weakness.
Throughout this whole thing I have learned that you cannot be rushed into anything for it will only make you plant your feet firmly into the ground. Only when you are ready will the changes be made. I have learned to guide you rather than push you, and it has made a tremendous difference. I get it now. I get YOU now. In your Own Time. You will get there on your own timetable and not by anybody else's. And that's ok. It's ok baby. From birth you have had your own timetable and no one but you can change that. I dig that. In a world where everyone is rushing around trying to get to the destination, you are enjoying the journey. I admire that so much. You inspire me to slow down and take it all in. There is a great big world out there to get to know, and you will. You will.

This year has also been a time for more in-depth questions about why your dad and I are no longer together. I can only tell you I am sorry. I can only explain things in ways you'll understand, but someday you will know that not everything goes the way you plan. People are complicated and lives get messy, but it does not mean for a second that you weren't wanted wholly by us. I am sorry we couldn't make it work, but we made YOU work. Your dad and I are the best of friends and everything we do is based on love for you.I know right now you are hyper-sensitive to the slightest raised voice between us or the hint of any animosity. We may disagree from time to time, but we will never, ever hate each other. Our love for you and respect for each other prohibits that. You will always be the best part of us.

Colininsky, even though this year was a hard one,it was filled with important revelations. Revelations that you are super smart and very witty. Your observations of things and your witty remarks show me a very developed intellect and a sharp, sarcastic sense of humor. I'm sorry about the sarcasm part. That was all me. Sarcasm is something that can get you in a lot of trouble if you don't learn to use it properly. Most people learn their lessons the hard way. You won't be any different. You caught on fast though and have made me laugh out loud at your sly jokes and your amusing takes on life. You are also learning to laugh at YOURSELF,which if anything, has been the hardest thing for you to get. I promise you though baby that it will get you through the hard times. I guarantee that having a sense of humor about yourself will be a huge advantage in your life. I have seen the glimpses of understanding in that department. Believe me baby, you will need it in this life.

The thing I am most proud of, however, is your capacity for love and compassion for people and animals. You love so hard it hurts. You can't even watch that ASPCA commercial with the In the Arms of The Angels song without crying and wanting to send every last allowance dollar you have. Your empathy for those who are hurting and in need is so wonderful. You are amazing and the world could use more people like you. I truly believe you will be a voice for those who don't have one. Your current life goal is to be a Veterinarian so you can help sick, injured and/or neglected animals. I know you would be wonderful at it.

Colin, we have many more years ahead of us before you become an adult and are ready to leave. You have already expressed an interest for your childhood to be over, but please don't be in a rush. You have your whole life to be an adult. Enjoy this short time in your life. I promise to make your childhood the best it can be. You have so many gifts to give to this world, but give it time. When it is finally time to grow up I have no doubts that you will, on your timetable, on your terms. You are my child. My love. My heart. My baby. Happy Birthday Son! I wish you many more wonderful decades. I love you always.

Love, Mom

Mosaic Life

2008-06-05T14:34:00.000-07:00

I took this idea from kidultery
The concept:
1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
2. Using only the first page of results, pick one image.
3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Big Huge Lab’s Mosaic Maker to create a mosaic of the picture answers.

The questions:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food? right now?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. What is your favourite drink?
7. What is your dream vacation?
8. What is your favourite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. What is one word that describes you?
12. What is your flickr name?

Waste Not-WANT NOT!

2008-06-05T11:01:00.000-07:00

My grandma just bought a house here and moved from California after living there practically her entire life. She lived in Redondo Beach for the past 40 years in an 1160 sq. foot house. You can't really have much stuff in a house that size. Or can you?
When the moving vans came one Saturday a couple of weeks ago, they spent the next hour bringing in box after box after box. We watched the house and garage slowly fill up as there seemed to be no end to the amount of stuff being delivered. Boxes everywhere were stacked up 5 ft or higher, and one by one over the course of the day each of the 6 movers took the chance to inform my grandmother of the very obvious understatement, "Gee lady, you have A LOT of stuff." Indeed.
We were literally inundated with stuff that hadn't seen the light of day in well over 20 years. All we could do was tell them to stack them up wherever they could as each room delineated for certain items eventually filled up and had us telling them "find a spot and set it down."

When the last box was in, the head mover came in to finalize the payment. On the contract it stated that their quote had been a firm one. She was to pay X amount of dollars for their services. The mover then stated that she was one lucky woman to have a firm quote because she was 4,000lbs over what they estimated. Ouch. That would have been another $2500.
The reason she had an extra 4000lbs in gross moving weight on the truck is because my grandmother NEVER THROWS SHIT OUT!. People, I wish I were kidding. When I started opening boxes I found spices from the 1950s, crackers that hadn't seen the light of day since 1987, Dinty Moore Beef Stew with a date stamp that read 03/08/85, oh and get this, an almost 30 yr. old unopened can of vegetable shortening. I promptly began throwing stuff out.

Grandma: What are you doing?
Me: Throwing this stuff out. It's OLD.
Grandma: It's in a can, dear.
Me: Grandma, It's 23 yrs old. If you haven't eaten it by now, you probably won't.
Grandma: Why are you throwing the shortening away?!?
Me: Grandma! It's almost 30 YEARS OLD! Shortening goes bad after 6-8 months. You CANNOT USE IT. It says 1979 on the copyright!!!
Grandma: It's unopened, and I KNOW that I just bought that about a year ago.
Me: Grandma, NOBODY sells food stuff that old except bad gas station mini-marts.
Grandma: Put it in the fridge. It's still good.
Me: I'm not coming over for tacos anytime soon.
Grandma: Kids your age are SOOOO wasteful.
Me: Como say huh?

*I managed to smuggle the shortening into the trash and replaced it with a NEW can of Crisco. Taco night is ON! If she invites me over for Beef Stew though, I'm bolting!

Here is the offending item

Absurdities

2008-06-03T07:42:00.000-07:00

There is a whole lot of crazy being stirred into the pot lately. Most of it comes from work. We see and hear a lot of weird things.Please to read...

Me: Could you read the VIN# back to me please?
Woman on phone: Ok, 1...G...D
Me: Did you say B as in boy or D as in dog?
Woman on the phone: D as in Dick Cheney.
Me: Oh. of course.

*ooookay...lol

Guy who walks in the office: Hey there!
Me: Hi sir! Can I help you?
Guy: I just wanted to let you know, I just got off the phone with the White House,and my stimulus check will be here by next week.
Me: The White House?
Guy: Yeah. I'll be in next week to get some insurance.
Me: Uh...yeah.

Woman on phone: You guys need to take that at-fault accident off my record.
Me: Ma'am, I can't do that. You'll have to dispute that with the DMV.
Woman: What that?
Me: The Department of Motor Vehicles.
Woman: Why can't you take it off? You were the one put it on there.
Me: Ma'am, I didn't put anything on your record. What happened in that accident?
Woman: I bumped into someone.
Me: So you rear-ended someone? What were you doing?
Woman: Drinking a beer.
Me: Drinking a beer? While driving? Ma'am, if you rear-ended someone and had an open container of alcohol in your car it would be two violations, possibly three.
Woman: See? There you go again puttin' stuff on my record.
Me: Right.

"Go sell crazy somewhere else. We're all stocked up here." - Melvin Udall-As Good As It Gets(1997)

9021-OLD

2008-06-02T08:06:00.000-07:00

There comes a day when you realize you are old. Maybe not over the hill, but definitely not feeling your youth as you used to. It may not happen all at once, in fact, it kind of sneaks up on you in revelations.
Oh my F*&^ing BLEEEEEEEP, will they turn that loud shit down? Or, I swear if I see another stinking teenager text in line in front of me and foregetting to move forward!!!...so help me! Or, Geez, 9:00 PM already? I need to get to bed! Little things that add up to the big realization that YOU ARE NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER FELICIA!
Mine came as I was watching TV and the new promos for Beverly Hills 90210-The Remake- which is being promoted as SEXIER, MORE PROVOCATIVE, EDGIER. My first reaction was, "Gah! Like we need another show about sexier,provocative teens! What is wrong with these people. These kids today are..." And then it hit me. Our parents probably had the same reaction when the original 90210 came out.Wait. What? I'm an...a..a...adult?!? Crap! It was official. I was old.
I happened to catch an episode of the original 90210 on the soap channel, and I happily began to watch a piece of my youthful past. And you know what? Not nearly the same. I was bored and their situations, of course, had no relevancy with me now. At the time, it was LIFE MAN! The REAL DEAL! It's like the writer's were inside my head!
So, I'm sure that this new show will find it's share of new viewers from a new generation and possibly curious ones from mine;Time moves on. My teens and twenties are over, but I still think fondly of the shows from my past while watching the shows that pertain to my interests now like The History Channel, CSI, Nip/Tuck, Sex in the City,and the Discovery channel. I hear they are having a whole half hour devoted to how cotton gets made into blue jeans. OOOOOOOHHHHH! So excited! ~Oh man I need a much needed shot of youth. Now where did I put my Strawberry Shortcake videos??

Waiting Womb

2008-05-28T10:17:00.000-07:00

I am blogging about my son's overdue birth today because Nat over at Starting From Here let us in on the story of a new mom, overdue and ready to evict the little one in her, who's friend Karen is holding a virtual baby shower by letting other mothers tell their stories of overdue babies.

My son was 8 days overdue when he was born. My original due date was May 14th, 1998. After the second ultrasound they changed it to June 2. The pregnancy was typical up until the 30th week mark. At 30 weeks I began holding water like crazy to the tune of 5 lbs. a week. My doctor thought I was eating too much until I made her see that there is no way in the H to the ELL that I could gain that much from eating with a baby pushing against my stomach. Then she looked again and noticed it was pitting edema. Kind of like playdough. You push your finger against it and the print stays. Gross and uncomfortable to say the least. I was Pre-pre-eclamptic. I should have known then this was not going to be easy.
I had an appt. on my due date. Nothing happening down there. I was told to come back a week later if nothing had happened by then. When I left I bought castor oil because I heard that would help things get going. All I did was throw up. I don't know why anyone would want to drink that crap. SO then I walked, and walked and walked and walked. They took me to the La Brea Tar Pits and we walked up and down the stairs all day. Still nothing.
Exactly one week after my due date I showed up at the Dr's office. She asked me how it was going. How in the hell do you THINK I am doing??!!? I am a week overdue and 70 lbs over my original starting weight. How the hell would YOU feel? Well, I didn't exactly say THAT. I burst into tears. "Take this baby out of me!" She gave me a paper and told me to walk across the street to labor and delivery. I was induced at 12 pm and they broke my water at 3pm. By 3AM I had only dilated to 4 cm. The pain was getting bad and they told me they would come back in an hour and give me an epidural when I reached 5 cm. The next hour was a blur. When they came back I was dilated to 9 1/2 cm and they wanted me to push. That booger wasn't going anywhere. My hip bones were too narrow to push his huge head through. At 6am I was taken into surgery for a c-section and 30 minutes later I had a beautiful 6 week old boy. Ok, he wasn't 6 weeks but he looked it because he was 10LBS 3OZ 21 1/4 in LONG!!!!! Friggin huge kid! He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, and I was finally done. All of my hard work and pain and pregnancy suffering had come to an end. He was here. He was home. He was mine.

Ridiculous

2008-05-23T09:15:00.001-07:00

Movie Madness

2008-05-22T08:22:00.000-07:00

So last night I became (in my son's eyes) the "coolest mom EVER" by taking him to the midnight showing of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. If I ever have the crazy notion to do that again I want someone to thump me on the head and take away my keys because-BOY, AM I TIRED! I swear my recovery time is soooo much longer. Gone are the days where I am able to stay up all night, catch 2 hours of sleep and bounce out of bed and solve complex Pythagorean equations while juggling sharp knives. Well, you get the idea. As for the boy, I had to poke him with a stick and throw food at him until he climbed out of bed. He was a bear. That was to be expected however. Anyway, the movie was really FUN! The concept was a little far-fetched, but overall very entertaining. I highly recommend you see it on the big-screen first.
We were lucky in that we went to a theater that wasn't advertising their midnight showing so we ended up being only 2 in a handful of 20 people. The other theaters were sold out and had lines. Haha! Suh-weet!
We had fun though and now my son will have a cool memory of his mom taking him to the movies at midnight on a school night, the eve of the "Last day of school!".
I'm paying for it though as I sit here trying not to fall asleep on my keyboard.
I will leave you with this though. probably one of the funniest things of the evening for me. As we were sitting waiting for the movie to start one of the kids in the very back let out the longest, most disgusting burp, and my son, the lover of bodily noises, the king of hand farts, the master of burps, shouts out, "That was uncivilized!"

Coolest thing EVER!

2008-05-19T11:24:00.000-07:00

I came across this amazing video and wanted to share it. It's long, but you will be captivated. All I can say is WOW! Please to enjoy...

MUTO a wall-painted animation by BLU from blu on Vimeo.

Major Butt Head salute

2008-05-14T13:30:00.000-07:00

I am going to break a parental silence to disclose something.
Sometimes I don't like my kid.
There I said it.
Please don't get me wrong,I LOVE him with a love that has no end and I would gladly lay down my life for him, but sometimes he can be a major butt head.Now before people start sending me hate mail, I will explain my feelings.
When I became a parent I was overwhelmed at the amount of love I felt for that tiny little person they handed to me in the hospital. Someone took my heart out of my body and put it into my arms. I looked at him and saw how insignificant everything else seemed in comparison. This was love. I was sure that nothing could make me not like this child. This wonderful, blessed, beautiful, angelic child. I was wrong. I have learned many things over the last 10 years. Mainly, that even though he is my child who I hold in high esteem, he is also someone who thinks for himself, has opinions, and differing views. He is a person like that.
My awareness of this began when he was around 2 years of age and we had some difficulties as any parent of a 2 yr old has.The truth is that you are not "parenting" your infant so much as you are just a "caretaker". The real parenting comes closer to age 2, and then the shit hits the fan. Anyways,back to age 2. Besides being utterly adorable with their chubby feet and hands and their sweet smiles and baby like ways,they can also be whiny, petulant, ornery, and frustrating as they struggle to assert their independence. They can be difficult and challenging to even the most patient of saints. I knew this going in having worked with kids for 5 years prior to his arrival. What I never expected were the feelings and thoughts that this little person could inspire in me and the thought that he was not my favorite person in the world at that moment, and that I didn't really like him right then. I felt immediate guilt and suppressed my ugly feelings because I reasoned with myself that you can't say that about a toddler who is only being a toddler. It wasn't his fault. It was me, and I clearly had to change my feelings. How dare I have any other thoughts or feelings other than true adoration for MY child. The guilt was horrible.
As he grew up I reveled in his achievements and supported him in his failures as he began to become his own person more and more. Every now and then I would have those same feelings again when he was being difficult and he would yell at me about how I was wrong and mean and anything else you become in your child's eyes when you put up boundaries they don't agree with. I pushed those feelings down inside myself-again.
We are in a new stage of life as he is making the break from early adolescence to pre-teen. The challenges get harder and the attitudes more prevalent. The guilt had been getting stronger. But lately I have been thinking a lot about all of this and it had lead me to some conclusions that lessened the guilt and had me breathing a sigh of relief. My child is his own person. As a person he is entitled to a full range of thoughts, feelings and emotions that will take him through this crazy world. I will not always agree with him nor he with me. He will make me happy, sad, mad, disappointed, and loved. How can he be any different than any other family member who drives you bat shit insane sometimes? He is not. Just because I gave birth to him and have unconditional love for him does not mean that I won't have feelings of dislike for him at times. I have dislike for myself at times when I make mistakes. Inevitably it is the people we love the most that can make us feel this way. I don't love myself or anyone else less just because I am mad at them. I may not want to be around them for awhile, but it passes because you forgive, and move on. Love moves on. What I think is the hardest part is realizing that your child can disappoint you. The biggest disappointment can be seeing your own faults in them that you couldn't see in yourself.
This is something I rarely see being talked about with parents, and I just felt that it needed to be shared in case anyone else had feelings like this, but felt too guilty that other people would judge them harshly. We can't do that. I cannot be the only one nor do I think I am. I see it in my friends when we talk about the tribulations that our children put us through and we joke about wringing their little necks and the like, and then we giggle and say "Just Kidding! I love my kid. I don't really feel like that. The truth is sometimes, we do. We are human. There is no shame in that. It is what we choose to do with that emotion that can make or break us.
I think my son is an amazing little boy; He is smart, witty, funny, sensitive, loving, and compassionate. My heart overflows with love for him. He is learning and growing. He makes me laugh. He makes me cry. He makes me proud. And he also makes me not like him sometimes. That's okay though because I know underneath that dislike is an even deeper feeling of love. The dislike is temporary for nothing can break my bond of love with him. Nothing. He is a person. He is my son, and sometimes he is a major butt head.

Mr. Right

2008-05-09T04:42:00.000-07:00

It started innocently enough. Just one. No more. Maybe more later when I could give my full attention to him. I didn't mean to keep on with it, but I couldn't stop. Before I knew it I had him against the walls, in the laundry room, on the countertops and even on the floor. Oh yeah-on the floor. It consumed me and I had no control over it. It wasn't one sided though. He worked hard at what he did. He was wonderful and I couldn't have been more happy with what he was doing. He knew what I wanted and he delivered. I was addicted to him. The way he felt in my hands was wonderful. His grip on mine was pure heaven. He made everything appear shiny and new.
What was I doing? I couldn't do this now. I couldn't devote the kind of time he needed right now. He deserved better than me, but how could I let go? He was everything I had ever wanted and more. He made my knees weak. My hands were sore from holding him so tight. Everything in me screamed for more. For my own peace of mind though I had to let him go,but only for now. We would be together again soon when I had it in me to devote all of my attention to him. I had big plans for him. I already missed him like the flower misses the rain. I wish I could quit him.

Would you like to see him? Just scroll down to see my new love.

Conversations with the familia

2008-05-04T10:40:00.001-07:00

My grandmother just bought a house here in Alabama after living in Redondo Beach, CA for most of her life. She wanted to be closer to us, and we couldn't be happier. For one thing, we make her laugh.

Shortly before she left my Uncle Beef took her out to a Chinese restaurant. They were discussing chinese astrology and my grandmother's horoscope said that the Ox and the Cock would feature prominently in her life this month. It got quiet and my uncle blurted out, "Yeah, you're going to meet someone named Dick!" Much laughter followed and she told us the story over dinner one night this past week.

Yesterday we met the general contractor who came out to make some estimates for some repairs on the new house. My grandmother loved him and he gave her his card and said he would call her when she got back from California.
At my mom's house later that night we were telling my mom all about the contractor and she asked what is name was.

Grandma: You have to meet him Arlene. He was charming. And his estimate was fantastic. He really knew what he was talking about.

Mom: What's his name mom?

Grandma: *She grabs the business card while putting on her glasses.* His name is Richard.

Me: DICK!!!!! OMG! Remember what Uncle Beef said?

Grandma: *Snorts with laughter* Oh my goodness!

Me: What's his last name Grandma?

Grandma: Pryke.

Me: OMG His name is Dick Prick? Call Uncle Beef! Call Uncle Beef!

Grandma: It's a sign!

LMAO...my looney family.

On the way home we had a country station playing and a Toby Keith song called I Wanna Talk About Me was on. We all laughed at the part that said, " and we talk about your grandma down in Alabama."

Me: Hey! That's you now Grandma!

Colin: *cracking up in the backseat*
That's funny! And it rhymes!

Then it came to the part that said "we talk about your medical charts and when you start."

Grandma: What did he say?

Me: He said "when you start".

Grandma: *laughs* Oh my.

Colin: * snorting with laughter* That's funny!........I have no idea what he is talking about.

hahahahahahaha

Viva La Cupcake Monday

2008-04-28T13:23:00.001-07:00

It's cupcake time again. I have been a cupcake making fool. Here are the newest ones.

Irish Coffee- Coffee cupcakes with Bailey's Irish Cream frosting

Extreme Vanilla w/ Vanilla bean Sea Salt- Vanilla butter cake with a vanilla bean frosting topped with a sprinkling of vanilla bean infused sea salt.

Jungle Boogie- Banana cupcake with peanut butter chips topped with fudge frosting and rolled in crushed macadamia nuts.

Peanut Butter On My Chocolate!- Chocolate cupcake with a a Reese's peanut butter cup baked inside topped with peanut butter frosting and drizzled with a chocolate ganache.

I also made an Italian Creme Cupcake, but forgot to get pictures. That one was a white cake with coconut and chopped pecans and covered in a Cream Cheese frosting. So good!

Beauty

2008-04-25T13:18:00.000-07:00

“Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God's handwriting.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

I hope everyone has a beautiful weekend.

Dreams

2008-04-23T12:07:00.001-07:00

I have to take this opportunity to brag about my fabulous friend Rachel who was the first friend I made when I came to Alabama. I'll back up a bit. Back in 2002 we were working as preschool teachers. We met and hit it off immediately over a shared love of books, cheesy movies, music, and food and wine. She makes me laugh everytime I'm with her and I love her to death. I'm bragging about her today because she did something that she had wanted to do for a long time. In the very near future she will be a published author! She wrote a book that made publishing editors swoon and they snatched her talented little self up. I am immensely proud of her for following her dreams and taking that huge scary step from safety and security to total uncertainty. She made it happen for herself and soon she will see that dream come to fruition. So Rachel, I would just like to say that you are amazing and immensely talented and there is no one I would rather watch Xanadu with than you. (Mainly because you're the only one who gets it besides me.)

That being said, all of this has really made me think about my life. How many things have I dreamed of only to tell myself that it was ONLY a dream and that nothing would come of it. The truth is that I am the only one that can make my dreams a reality. If I don't put myself out there and make an effort my dreams will remain just that, vague memories of something bizarre and great that gets lost in the haze of waking.
The thing is, my friends success hits home because of the fact that I write things all the time. I get ideas and jot them down, but I never finish them. She did. She succeeded. So I have made the decision to finish what I have already started. I am dusting off my old dreams and making an effort to turn them into reality. Even if I never become a published author, isn't success defined by trying?

Sadness

2008-04-16T07:36:00.000-07:00

As some of you may know my uncle is married to Chimene Diaz. We are grieving today for the loss of Emilio Diaz father of Chimene and Cameron Diaz. He passed away yesterday morning due to complications of the flu that turned into pneumonia. We are shocked because he was such a vibrant, healthy man. I spoke with my grandfather this morning and he says they are all taking it pretty hard. He was such a nice man. He loved his family fiercely and there is nothing he wouldn't do for his family and friends. A more down to earth man you'd never met.
It just makes me think how precious our time on this earth is. We never know what may happen to any of us at any given time. Life is so unpredictable and fragile and we need to seize opportunities to love and express those feelings to people that mean so much to us.

Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers.

Meme Monday

2008-04-14T11:49:00.000-07:00

My very lovely-impatient(hehe)-friend Rachel tagged me for this. She knows everything about me so this is nothing new, but for anyone else...
Here’s the game:

You’re feeling: Satiated. Just ate thai food for lunch. YUM!

To your left: My Diet Cherry Pepsi on ice.

On your mind: All of the organizing I want to do at home.

Last meal included: Chicken and rice noodles in a peanut sauce.

You sometimes find it hard to: STAY organized!

The weather: COLD! I had on shorts a few days ago, and now I am in a sweater with the heat on. Wierd Alabama weather.

Something you have a collection of: Perfume and body sprays. Its a sickness. If it smells good I want it.

A smell that cheers you up: Wood smoke. Makes me think of autumn. Mmm...(Same! Love it!)

A smell that can ruin your mood: Old lady perfume

How long since you last shaved: 2 days ago.

The current state of your hair: Dark brown, clean, and up in barettes.

The largest item on your desk/workspace (not computer): My 4 stacking file holders.

Your skill with chopsticks: Awesomely good.

Which section do you head for first in a bookstore: Historical fiction

Something you’re craving: Cake

Your general thoughts on the presidential race: Sigh. (I second that!)

How many times have you been hospitalized this year: None!

Favorite place to go for a quiet moment: My room. I have a nice blue chair and ottoman next to the window and my books.

You’ve always secretly thought you’d be a good: actress

Something that freaks you out a little: When my son pops his wrists and knuckles. He knows it makes me cringe. The booger.

Something you’ve eaten too much of lately: chicken

You have never: gotten a tattoo

You never want to: Get a tattoo

I'm tagging...anyone who wants to do this.

Irony?

2008-04-10T09:47:00.000-07:00

I bought a book called Organization for Dummies last week. I can't find it anywhere now.

34 is rough!

2008-04-09T05:20:00.000-07:00

Thank you so much to everyone who has lent me words of support and for all the Happy Birthday wishes. They are all greatly appreciated. I can't even tell you how much it all means to me. I am so grateful for all of you.

My birthday, as far as birthdays go lately, was ok. Ok, I lied. It was fraught with minor problems that I just had to let go(after a minor freak out). After work my mom took me out to dinner and I had the Chicken Marsala. Hello garlic mashed potatoes! Shortly thereafter ,as we were paying the check, I had a glass of very cold water accidentally dumped on me by a 2 yr old looking for "ICE LICIA!" Then on my way home my mom calls and tells me I have a brake light out. Rather than chance it I head to the auto parts store,buy a light and finagle an employee to help me replace it. Crisis averted. I head home and realize I haven't had cake on my birthday. Unacceptable. I start to get ingredients together when my son informs me that he locked my keys inside the car. My only set of car keys. OK THEN. I minorly freak out before I realize that I have roadside assistance with my insurance so I make the call. As I waited for the tow truck guy I made Italian Creme Cake cupcakes. I ate 2 before he got there. I deserved it! Boy oh boy....34 is shaping up to be a VERY interesting year. I may want to go back to 33. Geesh!

Happy Birthday To Me!!!!

2008-04-07T08:12:00.000-07:00

If you can call turning 34 happy. Lol Oh well...another year gone by...another year to look forward to. And I AM looking forward to it. Time is precious and goes fast. Enjoy the ride.
Knock a couple back for me. It's Monday..you deserve it.

Drowning

2008-04-03T08:14:00.000-07:00

The last few weeks have been a personal hell. Allow me to explain.

If you have read this blog for awhile you might know that my son Colin has Attention Deficit Disorder-Inattentive type, not hyperactive. He was diagnosed last October and started on medication. At that time his grades were failing and his teachers intervened and made we aware and this led to his subsequent diagnosis of ADD. They arranged what is called B.B.S.S.T which is where the teachers and counselors get together and discuss his strengths and weaknesses and what they can do to help him succeed by offering help to him. It worked. His grades shot up and the medication was helping him focus.Everything seemed much better.
Over the past 2 months I noticed his grades dropping again and also his general mood had changed at home. He was moodier, angrier, sadder, worried, and anxious. Put simply, he was not the same kid. I started getting notes home about absent homework and classwork unfinished. I quizzed my son only to find out that he was not getting the help in the classroom like he was before. I sent numerous e-mails to his teachers asking that he continue to get "extra" help as he had not quite gotten to the point where he could do it himself. All I got were replies that said he was getting a zero grade for missing work because of their "no late work accepted" policy. Really? In the 4th grade??!? Colin was getting worse with every passing week. His asst. principal called him into her office and told him if he didn't "shape-up" he would fail 4th grade. I was not aware of this meeting and all it did was add to his anxiety. I was furious. His doctor was informed and his medication tweaked. Meanwhile I tried to figure all of this out. I called the school and spoke with the counselor who informed me that they had taken him off of the B.B.S.S.T. team because he was doing better and din't think he needed it.She admitted that they should not have done that. I was not pleased nor was I informed because if I had been I would have flatly refused. Just because he is on medication does not mean he is cured. All of it together should work as support for one another to help him succeed. They took away the help he needed and as a result he is failing. I think the school failed him. I liken it to removing his life preserver in rough waters where he is still learning to dog paddle.
I am so upset. I am tired of watching my child fall into a depression. I am tired of hearing him say he hates school. I am tired of holding him while he sobs because he "just can't do it". Don't get me wrong. I am there for him, but I am tired of school being the cause of all of this. As a result he is now temporarily on anti-depressants to get him over this hurdle. It was with a heavy heart that I finally submitted to that.
As for me, I can't sleep. I find the easiest tasks tiring and some things have taken a back seat because its all I can do to drag myself out of bed to make it to work. I feel like I am drowning. I need peace, and sleep, and for my son to be ok. My mind races with the possibilities of where his despondency might take him. It is scary and upsetting. All the while I put on a smile for my child and stay strong for him because he needs me, but all I really want to do is hug my pillow and cry in a heap of blankets.

Not just "Some Chick"

2008-04-01T09:22:00.000-07:00

I'm alive. I'm just going through some stuff right now that's kicking my butt. I am tired. I can't get Un-tired. I will write more about it later. I hope everyone is well and enjoying the spring weather.

Weekend recap

2008-03-10T10:06:00.000-07:00

Weekends are way too short.

Friday: Rachel and I Went to Monaco Pictures and ate lots of yummy appetizers and drank lemon drop martinis and Belgian draft beer. Afterwards we saw The Other Boelyn Girl. Soooo good. You must see it.
Went home and went to bed waiting on the snow to fall. Fell asleep to thoughts of snowmen and snowball fights.

Saturday: Woke up to see this. Snow dust. Not even enough to matter. Major bummer!

We were lazy. Nothing more to tell except that I finally got to see The Bourne Ultimatum. I love that trilogy. Matt Damon rocks. I wish I was F&*%ing Matt Damon. lol

Sunday: We finally got out into the beautiful sunshiny, snowless day. I rounded up my son's friends and their scooters and I took them to Indian creek greenway for a few hours. They scooted and skipped stones as every child should know how to do. It's nice to de-tech and get down to basics. I want these kids to get in touch with the simple things in life. Mission accomplished!

On the way back we encountered cows in the field next to the trail on the other side of the creek. He liked me. He walked over to the fence.

Whatch you talkin bout Willis?!?

Great weekend.

Monday doth sucketh!

I hope yours was great too!

Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!

2008-03-07T14:22:00.000-08:00

Newsflash* We are expecting SNOW. 1-2 inches! Color me happy! Of course it will only last a day so we will just have to make the best of it.

The weather here has been weird and unpredictable to say the least. 70 degrees one week and then in the 20s the following. This is the only place I have lived in that you can wear your shorts and thick parkas all in the same week.

SNOW!!!!!

Language Lessons

2008-03-04T12:58:00.000-08:00

My wonderful friend Steve and I always try to see who can be more clever. He often wins because he is just amazingly witty. I love witty. Here is one of our exchanges.

Greetings from Norway !!!!‏
From: Steve Craft
Sent: Tue 3/04/08 8:05 AM
To: Felicia L a France

Oerewog veoig,

w $tunbv;on3govin[0q3g voadnagloj v54oihgv 4iny 0q8jr4oqk4 gvoi nbvaer ytlvk hrgqk bauhergw liaer giuwnf qng bw ;onnrg ;qovn qjbr ytvqrogh4esbiq 3iophry vo99 0lo9g gv9 h54 g9b8h qerb tm9bny otr9ph4t4b9qjh4;ojl h.\

ou n3w e,
aier4bt

RE: Greetings from Norway !!!!‏
From: Felicia L a France
Sent: Tue 3/04/08 10:14 AM
To: Steve Craft

Silly man..everyone knows that you should use the present tense of the word voadnagloj as voadnEglojy. You need to brush up on your languages Sir, or as the Norwegians say...Sinegytlkgjio

RE: Greetings from Norway !!!!‏
From: Steve Craft
Sent: Tue 3/04/08 10:43 AM
To: Felicia L a France

Ms. LaFrance....

Since the literal translation of "Sinegytlkgjio" is, "I wish to have sex with your poodle while wearing a sock on my head"....did you really mean to say that ??? I'm guessing you misspelled and really wanted to say, "Sinegytlpgjio" Which translates to, "Get them clothes off and shake that 'money-maker' ".

Linguistically yours,
Henry

RE: Greetings from Norway !!!!‏
From: Felicia L a France
Sent: Tue 3/04/08 11:49 AM
To: Steve Craft

Henry,
I apologize for my spelling error. Spell check does not catch the Norwegian slang terms very well. I believe the word I was going for is spelled Sinegytlggkgjio which translates as " Your socks are too tight; take them off your ugly dog."
I never meant to imply that I wanted to have sex with your poodle. And is that what you call it because it really looks more like a cat with a perm. Svehuityrskkl is what I always say, which means "You can't teach an old cat new dog tricks, especially with socks on your head. " That's a famous norwegian quote by the way.

Love, Tink

RE: Greetings from Norway !!!!‏
From: Steve Craft
Sent: Tue 3/04/08 1:11 PM
To: Felicia L a France

Funny....I use socks for other purposes.

RE: Greetings from Norway !!!!‏
From: Felicia L a France
Sent: Tue 3/04/08 1:46 PM
To: Steve Craft

I win!

RE: Greetings from Norway !!!!‏
From: Steve Craft
Sent: Tue 3/04/08 2:27 PM
To: Felicia L a France

Yes, you win. You always do. Now, "Sinegytlpgjio" (see below) and take pictures this time !!!!

*"Sinegytlpgjio" Which translates to, "Get them clothes off and shake that 'money-maker' ".

LMAO I love that guy.

Pedicures and Free Sh*t

2008-03-04T08:35:00.000-08:00

To keep with this embarrassing moment theme I will tell you a story of someone else's embarassing moment that I was witness too. Who couldn't use a good laugh especially when it has nothing whatsoever to do with us.

Awhile back, my friend Rachel and I had decided to go out for a girly day and get pedicures and go see a Chick flick. We went to this place neither one of us had been to before and sat right down as there was hardly anyone there. As we made ourselves comfortable in the highback chairs and started soaking our feet the ladies came out and sat down in front of us. Well, one of them was a lady, the other one had to be like 16 or 17. They started working on us and Rachel and I chatted away. As we were talking the young girl kept interrupting our conversations with little anecdotes about high school. A little annoying and rude, but we chalked it up to her age and just amused her. Towards the end she hands Rachel some of those free foam sandals so as not to ruin the nail polish job and says, "Here, they're free." To which I said "Who doesn't like free stuff? Free stuff is great!" The girl looked at us and said "Except for feces." Uh,como say huh?!? It got uncomfortably quiet and Rachel says, "Uh yeah, except for that." We exchanged looks and both of us were trying so hard to stifle our laughter. The girl got up and walked out of the room and we dissolved into laughter. Seriously? Is someone handing out free feces and we just don't know about it? Do people charge for feces? After we left the jokes just flowed. We laughed all day long. Poor girl.
I love me some free shit, I just don't like free SHIT.

What is an embarrassing moment you have had? I can't judge...I'll laugh, but I won't judge. You read what happened to me Saturday. Hypothetically of course.

Hypothetically speaking

2008-03-03T12:26:00.000-08:00

Hypothetically, let's say that the Terminex guy comes out to check your baseboards early in the morning on a Saturday, hypothetically around 9AM and that hypothetically you have five minutes to get dressed(because you just got notified right then...oops) and make your house presentable so you don't melt into a pool of embarrassment. And let's just say hypothetically that after he leaves, smiling too broadly for a termite guy who just had the exciting job of checking baseboards, you walk into your bedroom and suddenly realize that he may have seen your *ahem* toy lying on the nightstand as he checked said baseboards because although you threw on clothes and picked up anything off the floor, you may have forgotten to put other more embarrassing items away that you forgot were there because you were more concerned about whether or not he would judge you for having socks lying all over the floor. Hypothetically speaking of course.

Singing the insurance blues

2008-02-28T12:17:00.001-08:00

My job as an insurance agent, while oh so exciting(read:NOT), is filled with the occassional stressful moments and exclamations of "oh shit!". They are also filled with moments of "Oh hell to the no he/she didn't just say that!"
Case in point: Customers sometimes call in and expect us to do miracles with insurance. I just love the ones that tell me they just had an accident and need me to "backdate" a policy. Ummmm...how 'bout noooo? Fraud anyone? My job may not be exciting, but I'm kind of used to the whole getting a paycheck thing to do things like have a roof overhead and eat. I know. I'm so selfish.
Today was no different. A woman calls in and asks me to fax over proof of insurance to the DMV for her parents to show that they were insured on a specific date. Ok, no problem except that they were not insured with us on the date she mentioned. I informed her and she hung up the phone. She called again and asked me to fax current proof of insurance and says, "Can you fax that over there in like 2 seconds? Can you do it in 2 seconds?" Really? Really?? You must be joking with me. You'd have to be joking with me otherwise I would have to come through this phone and throttle you. Now where the heck did I put my magic wand? My gawd. Have we really gotten so completely impatient that we require people to defy the laws of physics? Puhleeze. I will fax that over in the amount of time it takes me to access the policy and to get to the various information in order to fax that over. It takes me 2 seconds to blink sometimes on a tiring day. I'm filing you under A for ass.
* I love my job I love my job I love my job I love my job*
Rant over

Memory Lane

2008-02-25T08:40:00.000-08:00

Over the past few months I have been digging into my past a lot. I suppose it may have something to do with the fact that last year marked 15 years since high school ended. Yikes people. Since that time things have changed drastically, some good, some bad. Life happens. I am feeling a bit reflective and wanted to know how LIFE has been for old friends. As such, I began googling names. Did I mention I love Google? Because I do.
I may have mentioned a middle school crush of mine here once and how I still felt slightly jilted in that "my poor 15 yr. old heart is crushed" kinda way. I won't tell you his name, but it starts with Matt Neznanski.I hope he forgives me for writing this. He was blonde, wore glasses, and hung out in the computer lab at lunch. He wasn't geeky in the classic sense, just cerebral. I love cerebral. I fell. I would sit near him on the bus and engage him in conversation and hang out in the classroom outside of the computer lab on the off-chance that he would notice my devotion and ask me to marry him. Uh yeah. At 15. Genius idea. Alas, he was not aware of my devotion and 15 yr. old love for him. I'm not even sure he was aware that girls even existed back then. I googled him and found him.
I figured that with a unique last name I might have some luck. I found a link and clicked on it only to find a reporter's blog with a picture of a blonde guy with glasses and a cute, scruffy beard. It had to be him, just 19 years older and still adorable. I found an e-mail and wrote him. " If you like pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain..." Ok,I didn't write that. I casually and non-stalkingly asked if he was the same person who went to Dodson Junior High School from 1986-1989(Shut up,it's not THAT old)because if so, then HI! How are you? The next day, much to my surprise and delight he replied with "Yes, I remember you. How are YOU?" I died a little. My middle school crush acknowledged that he remembered me. 19 years later. *sigh* I wrote back and confessed to him of my like for him and that I had a picture of him that I had taken after a field trip. I sent it to him and we have since written each other a couple of times. He is happily married(darn it)and doing what he loves. How could you ask for better? All I can say is that it was just really cool to catch up, and to find out what happened to my childhood crush. My soul can rest easy now. It's all good.
Life is funny. You may not get what you want, but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. It just is, and you deal with it and maybe get something better out of it. Or you may get some closure. In any case, you get to see how everything is and how grateful you are that people have touched your life in different ways. It's amazing, it's real,and occassionally bittersweet. Life is short. I want to take opportunities to tell people how they have affected my life because I may never get another chance, and isn't it nice to know that maybe, just maybe, you might have been special to them too.
So Matt, if you should happen to stumble across my blog, please know that you will forever be a sweet and special part of my childhood memories. Thank you.

Tag! You're it!

2008-02-22T11:44:00.000-08:00

I've Been Tagged...
One Crazy Adventure tagged me with a meme.

THE RULES:
1. Once you are tagged, link back to the person who tagged you.
2. Post THE RULES on your blog.
3. Post 7 weird or random facts about yourself on your blog.
4. Tag 7 people and link to them.
5. Comment on their blog to let them know they have been tagged.

Wierd things huh? Hmmm...where do I start?

1. I cannot stand the sound of liquid being poured into a glass. Hate it. It is like nails on a chalkboard sound to me. I have no idea where it came from.

2. I won't eat bananas by themselves. It's the texture that gets to me. I don't even care for the taste in juices and yogurts. The only banana tasting things I like are banana bread, and wierdly enough, banana popsicles.

3. Between my birthdate and social security number I can count six 7's.

4. This may happen to everyone, but as of yet I have not asked if it does or not. I will think about a movie I have not seen in awhile, something obscure or something that literally has not been on in forever, and within a week or two it will be on TV. I don't look at TV guides or any guides for that matter. Freaky.

5. I cannot sing " I Love Rock & Roll" by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts without associating it with a school bus. I was in the 1st grade on a bus when I first heard it and all the 6th graders were singing it. I guess that was back when bus drivers were cooler and actually turned ON the radio.

6. I was stabbed in the leg in the first grade during recess by another boy. It went right through my a small portion of my thigh and out another end and ruined my favorite Strawberry Shortcake pants.

7. I still love the smell of Revlon Flex shampoo, but I can't find it anymore. Balsam Fragrance is awesome!

I don't want to make anyone feel obligated to do this so I will tag with no strings attached.
Stacey
Nanette
Rachel
Sarah
Natalie

Thanks for reading! I will post next about getting in touch with my middle school crush.

and then there is this. My kitty Daisy.

File under: Geek

2008-02-14T10:52:00.000-08:00

Thank you for all the kind words about my cupcakes. Y'all are sweet and I so wish I could send y'all some if I could manage to ship them without ruining them. If you ever happen to come to North Alabama then we can definitely make it happen!

The title of this blog will become clear when you see these pics.

Goonies Collector glasses from 1985. Oh but yes! Ebay. I'm officially a geek. I love them though.

I bid on and won 2 more with a different design. They originally were promoted by Godfather's Pizza who got a shout out in the movie and these were available with the purchase of a pizza. I didn't grow up near a Godfather's pizza so I was not privy to these awesome glasses because I so would have had all of them. I know, I know...I'm living in the past...blah, blah, blah. So what? I L.O.V.E. the Goonies and will forever. Sloth love Chunk! Rockyyyyy Road?

Happy Valentine's Day! I have a hot date with 2 guys. Ben & Jerry.

Cupcake Time

2008-02-13T08:39:00.000-08:00

Cupcake time again!
These are todays selections:
Chocolate Covered Strawberry- a strawberry cupcake with bits of real strawberry baked in and some strawberry extract for extra ooomph covered in a fudgy chocolate frosting. Rich and Decadent!

Key Lime Pie- A white cupcake with key lime juice and bits of lime zest topped with a light key lime custardy whipped topping with bits of lime zest with the edges dipped in graham cracker crumbs. Light,slightly tart and citrusy, just like the pie. Yum!

I had them taste tested by 2 dozen people. The verdict? Excellent so far.
I need to get my butt in gear and get a business loan. Alabama is screaming for gourmet cupcakes! I am screaming to be my own boss. lol

The Little Pimp Who Could

2008-02-12T13:38:00.000-08:00

The people that come into our office never cease to amaze me. I am fascinated by the lives they lead and wonder how different or how similar our lives really are. Most of our clients don't come into our office, preferring to pay their insurance premiums online and only calling us when they need to make changes. There are however, some clients who still come by the office to pay because they either do not have a checking account or they just flat out refuse to "surrender to the man!" These people are a loyal, ragtag, bizarre bunch. One of them just left my office. I call him Mr.B aka The Pimp.
Mr. B is 72 years old. He wears matching track suits and when he walks in the glare of his jewelry blinds me. The man wears jewelry like Mr. T. I pity the fool who don't wear no gold medallions! He drives a Red Ford F250 with custom chrome trim, spinners on the wheel and a license plate frame that says Hoochie Mama & His Toys. Wow.It makes me laugh and cringe all at the same time. Every month he pays a huge amount of cash on his multiple policies because he has 7 cars. While he is doing this the woman that accompanies him(approx. age mid-30s)sucks away on a blow-pop and plays with her hair and pulls down her very short skirt. Ok then.
Mr. B is always very nice, and I tease him constantly greeting him with, "Hey Mr. B. Did you come to pay my insurance?" He always laughs and takes out his wallet to count out the hundreds of dollars he pays each month. I never have the guts to ask him what he does, or did because he is retired now from whatever it was that he did that I don't know about. That was a mouthful. I hate not knowing. When he is finished paying he stands and walks slowly(he's 72 for goodness sakes)back to his car and says, " Come on baby." to his female companion. I say goodbye and he replies, " Be good...or good at it!" Characters I tell ya. At least they add a little color into my otherwise non-exciting day.

I should never have encouraged him to speak!

2008-02-08T13:01:00.000-08:00

I have to apologize, in advance, to the world, for what may be unleashed upon it in the next 10 years. I am sorry everyone. Here's why...

Last night I dropped a friend off at her parent's house so she could use their car while her's was in the shop. No sooner had we dropped them off and pulled out of the driveway when darling boy said he needed to use the bathroom, really bad Mom! I told him to hold it as best he could because we would be home in like 3 minutes. Not 2 seconds later I felt the urge to go.

" Mom? Do you have to go to the bathroom?"

" Yes. Why? "

" You're bouncing."

" Oh. Well. Yeah. I guess I am. It helps a little bit."

" Don't think about water."

" Colin!"

" Water, water, water, water, water!" he says in a singsong voice.

"Stooooooopppp!" Totally feeling it stronger now.

"Creek! Stream! River!"

" Colin! Stop! hahahaha. Booger."

" Lake! Pool! Jacuzzi!" he says getting more hysterical by the second.

" lalalalalalalalalal...can't hear you....lalalalalala"

" A Dam! Ocean! Puddle!"

" Puddle? How do you go from an ocean to a puddle?" I say laughing and bouncing.

" I don't know." he says snorting and laughing. The car gets quiet again.

"This moment is brought to you by the letter P."

" What?!?!" I laugh hysterically trying to keep the car on the road and keep from peeing my pants.

" I am Cookie Monster. I like to eat P. It taste like cookie. Nom nom nom nom."

" Stop!!!! I'm going to pee my pants!" I scream laughing.

" Are you going to run in the house?"

" Yes. Leave me alone. You're out of my will."

" I didn't want your couches anyway Mom."

Oh lawdy. I'm sorry people. I fear for the future.

Random conversations

2008-02-05T11:20:00.001-08:00

These are recent conversations I've had that have stuck in my mind because they still make me laugh.

*At the office*

Joe(my boss): I'm sorry if I've been awful today. Don't quit on me.
Me: You haven't been awful and I'm not quitting.
Joe: Would you tell me if I'm being awful?
Me: Yep!
Joe: (laughs) I'm glad I hired you.
Me: I know.

*Home-my son's bedtime*

The boy: You know Mom? You're beautiful and I still think you're young.
Me: Thank you sweetie.
The boy: 30 is the new 20!
Me: What do you want and how much is it going to cost me?

* A call on the way home*
Kevin(a friend): Whatcha doin?
Me: Drivin home. You?
Kevin: Not much. You busy tonight?
Me: No. Why?
Kevin: I wanted to know if I could come over and inspect your crotchal region.
Me: Are you referring to oral sex in a not so sexy way?
Kevin:(laughs) Yeah! And you could inspect my panoose.
Me: Kevin, no one will ever have sex with you if you keep calling it that.

*In the car*

The boy: Mom, Did you want a boy?
Me: I sure did! I prayed to have a little boy and here you are.
The boy: Were you excited?
Me: Yep...until they told me you had cooties, being a boy and all, and they said they would have to decootify you before I could take you home.
The boy: Mooooommmm...
Me: No really! It was a process. They had to bathe you and scrub you with some decootifying soap and then they smeared stuff on you to release the cootie toxins and then said some Hail Marys and told me to chant over you at every diaper change. However, it does require maintenance and you might still have some even now because cooties just tend to stay with boys. They are hard to get rid of. Ask the girls in your class.
The boy: Mom, you're weird.
Me: It's hereditary and you're welcome.

Matt Damon is my hero!

2008-02-01T11:09:00.000-08:00

Here is another reason to LOVE Matt Damon. I RED puffy heart him soooo much. Sarah Silverman, however crass, is actually pretty funny. For your enjoyment....(Fast forward to the first minute;that's when the fun part happens.)

Robby Armstrong Band

2008-01-30T11:11:00.000-08:00

I have to put this out in the blog world. My uncle Robby Armstrong has a band aptly named the Robby Armstrong Band He is so talented and plays all over the South bay/Los Angeles area and has even played at the House of Blues. He and his lovely wife Chimene frequently have concerts to raise money for the Children Today foundation to help homeless children have food, clothing, and shelter for which Chimene is a community liason. They are definitely giving people.
SO I though I would post a video he made called Rodeo. I hope you enjoy it. Oh and if you live in or around the South bay area please go see him perform. You won't regret it. He's dynamic and fun.

*Just click on the pic to make it bigger*

The Hawaii Chair.-Ridiculously funny

2008-01-29T08:36:00.000-08:00

I think this might be the funniest, most ridiculous thing I have seen in awhile. I laughed my ass off. lol ENJOY!

Random stuff for a Monday-AKA Sooooo bored

2008-01-28T11:16:00.000-08:00

1) If you were to become a TV evangelist, how would you do your hair?
HUGE. Sprayed and teased within an inch of its life. The higher the hair the higher to God.

2) Do you remember the first time you were on the internet? What did you do first?
Surfed for porn. Ok that's a lie.It surfed me. Blah..ok, ok... I made myself one of them there e-mailing accounts and had no one to send anything to. And then I got on messenger.

3) If you could pair up any two single people you know, who would you pick?
My friend Jasmin...I would find her a tall, big beefy guy with an IQ of 140 who had a penchant for cuddling, playful sarcasm and played a mean game of scrabble.
And I would pair me up with patrick Dempsey. What wife? Awww crap!

4) What was the biggest fight you have ever had with someone?
I'm a lover not a fighter. No fight. Hate to fight. Sick to stomach.

5) Do you prefer silver or gold jewelry? Silver or white gold.

6)What is the most revolting combination of colors you can imagine?
Orange, brown,& gold.

7)If you were to describe your first "real" kiss, what would you say?
Butterflies. Beach. 15. Braces. Richard Marx singing "Right Here Waiting For You" on a little radio. Soft lips. Insides all squishy.

8)What kind of cowardice do you most despise?
When people abuse those who are weaker than they are..

9)What is the best single piece of advice you ever received?
Treat people kindly and with respect.

10)What is your oldest article of clothing that you still wear?
Drill team sweats from 12th grade. Hey they feel just about right now.

Balls

2008-01-23T09:15:00.000-08:00

My lack of blogging has been due to a semi-sick child milking it for all its worth. He is already resembling an adult male in terms of neediness and whining, and the feeling that the world is going to cave in on itself because the hot chocolate is just not the right temperature MOM! Just for good measure I spiked it with brandy to knock him out for awhile. I kid, I kid! It was Frangelico because its all I had. A joke! A joke! Anyway, he is better and will DEFINITELY be going back to school tomorrow. *Just added this hilarious video that fits so well here. Courtesy of Rachel

Speaking of needy males,the other day when I got a call from the school to pick up the sick boy my ex-b/f decides to show up out of the blue at my OFFICE just as I was packing up my stuff to leave to go get him. He nervously explained to my boss that he was a friend of mine and that he was here to see me. Then he repeated it again. Wierd much? I asked him what he was doing here and he went on to ask me if I would run his driving record to make sure he had no tickets because he needed to get his Alabama state driver's license. He's got balls. Not big ones~literally~(overshare...lol) The whole "I don't think we can be friend's anymore" thing and he wants a favor?? Damn.
So I'm running his driving record and seething. I'm so passive-agressive. I hate that about me.

It's rude. Yo.

2008-01-18T08:28:00.000-08:00

What's that saying,If the music's too loud you're too old? What if it's just the bass? Like bass that could probably restart your heart because you can feel it pressing against your chest. Yeah...that loud.
The other night we were sitting on the couch and I started to feel this weird vibrating in my chest and then thumping. I didn't think too much of it at the time and just ignored it. 9:00 rolls around and I put the boy to bed and his entire room is vibrating and thumping to the sounds of rap music with the bass apparently on +10 level. He started complaining about how he didn't like that feeling and he wouldn't be able to sleep. INDEED. So I did the mature thing. I banged on the wall. That'll let her know. Dummy..it's bass. The neigbor will probably just think it is part of the song. I tell the boy to try his best to ignore it because its after 9pm. How much longer could it last. Let me tell you. A long ass time. What the hell? I threw on my jacket and slippers and closed the door while listening to my son whining about how he couldn't sleep with that noise. I mosey over to the neighbor's house and knock on the door. All I hear is the bass coming through her front door. I knock again and I hear the words. "Oh it's that white girl from next door." Excuse me? The door opens and 2 women are standing there staring at me. I calmly tell them that the bass is so loud my son can't sleep and it's after 9pm and could they please turn it down. Thanks! They just stare at me before one of them rolls their head and eyes and says, "It ain't that loud." Oh really? You could defibrillate someone with that shit. And could we lose the attitude because you're the one in the wrong. "Could you please just turn it down?" I walk away and can feel them staring at me.
Hey, I like some rap. I'm down with different genres of music. I can "drop it like it's hot", but unless I'm at a club I don't want to be boom boxing in my condo at 9pm on a weeknight thank you very much. I'm sure they would be just as offended if I blared XANADU(Whatup Rachel!) over and over again until their ears bled.
The bass did not go off until after 10pm and by that time I had already had to haul the boy into my room to sleep because they were bound and determined to do whatever the hell they wanted. Ok. I can play it. I've been nice. Next time I go civil code on their asses and break out my legal speak. Yeah, that's right. Hello Occifer. Don't want nothin started, don't be startin nothin. Yo.

The first three letters in diet are DIE

2008-01-17T08:53:00.000-08:00

So I'm on day four of my new eating plan and I am feeling less like a raging byotch and more like myself since I gave up all non-vegetable carbs and sugar for what right now feels like eternity. I was experiencing the normal carb-restricted side-effects like headaches. My body essentially was like, Felicia!? What the hell woman? No bread? Are you friggin kidding me? Oh ok, if that's how you wanna play it...fine! Oh remember how you haven't been getting headaches lately? Yeah? Gone! And just see the shit we throw at you when (not if lady)you get sick. Be prepared! GIVE US CARBS DAMMIT!!!!! To which I retaliated by taking lots of Tylenol and telling my body to shut the hell up because we will be happier skinnier. And then I burped.

Basically my eating plan is a variation of Atkins but without all the saturated fats. So to me its healthier and you lose faster because your body is not processing all of that extra fat. When I was on it the first time I lost on average about 5 lbs a week, but I went on vacation and blew it and everything snowballed from there, but this time I want to stay on it. I have no vacations planned for a long time so I have no excuses.
The ultimate reason I picked this is because I have ZERO patience. I cannot be bothered to weigh and measure to count as many things as calories, fat, carbs, vitamins, etc... I have tried and I lose interest so fast its unbelievable. It would take nothing less than an act of God to change it. I need results and I need them fast to feel motivated to continue. That's just me. This eating plan(I refuse to say DIEt)gives me fast results as opposed to some others I have tried, and believe me when I say I have tried them all. This one is easy and it works...as long as I stick with it. I just have to make it through the first few days;those are the toughest. I want a piece of bread like a , well...like a fat woman wants a piece of bread. LOL Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Anyone else going through or have recently gone through similar circumstances? What helps you?

Innocence found

2008-01-16T08:57:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who "delurked" even if you weren't a lurker, and I also want to thank everyone who reads my humble little blog even if you did not delurk. I appreciate each and every one of you who stumble across me and decide to stick around and see what trouble I get myself into next. HAHA! I thoroughly enjoy doing this more than I had originally thought. So thank you from the bottom of my blog and my heart.

In other news....

A conversation my son and I had last night which will completely support my child rearing techniques of keeping my son as innocent as I can in this less than innocent world.

"Mom. You know that song I like big butts and I cannot lie?"

"Yes I do. Why?"

"I like that song. It's funny." *sings-I like big butts and I cannot lie...you other brothers can't deny* "I heard it on Shrek"

"Yeah it's pretty funny." I sing-* when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get* "well I won't say that last part."

"Why not? Is it sprung?"

"Yes." Oh Lord the child doesn't need to know this I think to myself.

He laughs hysterically. "Sprung!!"

"Do you know what that means?" I say cringing at the thought of him understanding the meaning of that word in the context of that song.

He covers his mouth giggling "Yes. It means the guy gets hit in the face with her big butt when she turns around." "Right?" he says laughing hysterically again "Like Aunt Phanny in Robots!"

"Yep, that's exactly it.You're right!"

"I knew it!" he says walking away singing the song to himself.

God Bless that goofy kid's innocence!

I feel just like a criminal

2008-01-15T07:31:00.000-08:00

What I need is a good defense
cause Im feelin like a criminal.
-Fiona Apple

Will the embarrassment never end? Am I forever doomed to create humiliating moments in my life of my own volition??
I committed a criminal act last night. I am not proud. I shall explain.

I was on my way home from work last night and I noticed that my car was running on fumes because I am a procrastinator of the highest order. I pull into a station I have never been to before and as I do so I get a phone call. I answer it and start talking while I pull out my credit card and get out of the car. I swipe my card and continue talking as I open the gas tank. The machine starts beeping at me and I vaguely register that the thing says PAY AFTER FUELING. Whatever. I pump the gas and keep talking and when I'm done I close everything up and jump in my car and leave. I am almost home but I feel like something is not right when I suddenly realize- I swiped my card but it said PAY AFTER FUELING. HOLY SHIT I FORGOT TO PAY FOR THE GAS! I turn the car around to head back to the store swearing under my breath about the pump and pay places and how they should seriously stop that while beginning to sweat bullets and look over my shoulder for the cops that have an APB out for my arrest because OMG I just DROVE OFF WITHOUT PAYING FOR GAS.
I get to the gas station and walk in and start babbling a mile a minute about how-I think I drove off without paying and I'm so sorry but I swiped my card and I was talking at the same time and I just totally blanked and I'm so sorry and please don't arrest me it was an innocent mistake and please remove any APB's for my arrest if you have done that and please don't be mad....I'm sooooooooo sorry and thoroughly embarrassed. The guy said "Were you in a red Toyota?" I say, "Honda, and yes that was me, but I'm here to pay because I'm not a criminal! He was cool about it and took my credit card, thanked me for coming back because as he put it "No one usually comes back." I apologized again and vowed never to talk and pump gas at the same time and to never show my face at that gas station again.
I am such a dweeb. I am not a criminal,intentionally anyway. Besides, I don't look good in orange.

Spreading His Wings

2008-01-14T07:46:00.000-08:00

My boy is 9 1/2. The age where you try anything and everything to gain autonomy, to prove to everyone that you are capable of spreading your own wings and taking off. I liken him to a baby bird at this point. I'm not pushing him out to fly so much as he is trying to leap and ends up landing on his ass when he sees he's not quite ready to do EVERYTHING on his own. He will still need me for quite some time, but that doesn't stop him from trying to forge ahead.
See him forging ahead here? Hey! Where are you going? Are you just going to leave me here Speed Racer?

Look at that! So far ahead you can barely see him. I just know he is so excited to get ahead of me. Don't go too far! Hey! Can you hear me? Hello?

Oh wait! He's coming back. I knew he wouldn't go TOO far. Not yet anyway.

Hey babe!

Yes I saw you! You went really far and really fast.

My boy may be spreading his wings more and more but he always comes back. It's hard to let him do it too for fear that he will get hurt, but I rest in the knowledge that he still needs me, and I will cherish every single moment until he's out of my nest.

Expose yourselves!

2008-01-10T09:22:00.000-08:00

Hey all! Apparently it is Delurking day, and since I have never done this before I thought I would jump on the bandwagon because I figured this bandwagon wouldn't lead me down into the pit of despair or the bog of eternal stench!( I heart you Labyrinth!) Unless...unless...no one delurks because THEN there would be despairage and weeping and crocodile tears and no one wants to see that. Kidding aside it would be nice to see who reads this blog so please say hi, leave a comment, a piece of advice, a kind word, a little piece of you per say. Thank you! Have fun exposing yourselves! Hey you in the back...put some pants on. Geesh.